Post # 1
So I talked with my mom the other day and found out that her father doesn’t know her anymore. This is the man that married me the first time, and while that marriage ended, I will always have that memory of him marrying us. It hit me like a ton of bricks that he doesn’t have that memory anymore, that in fact, he likely doesn’t recall me at all anymore, or holding his great grandchild.
It’s like I’ve lost him before he’s physically gone. It’s sad, and heartbreaking to me. I guess there was something at the back of my mind that said he would be there forever, and knowing he won’t be is just tragic.
I just needed to get this out. Thanks ladies.
Post # 3
*hugs* I’m so sorry. Alzheimers is the worst. I would rather lose all of my limbs before losing ME. Because that is what it is. You lose who you are and you are just a husk. One of my great aunts has it and it is heartbreaking to watch.
I hope someday they find a cure for it, because as much as no one should have to watch their loved ones die painful deaths, no one should have to watch their loved ones lose themselves even more. 🙁
Post # 4
@aithinne: I’m so sorry 🙁 I know there is nothing I can say to make it better, but perhaps your mom could find a support group so she could talk to other folks going through it? It cannot be easy to have your father forget you, but she also has to realize that none of it is her fault.
Post # 5
@MrsPanda99: Oddly, I think Mom’s dealing fine with it. We’ve known it was coming, he was diagnosed a few years ago, but it’s still sad to know that he’s losing it all. I didn’t think it would progress so fast.
Post # 6
@MrsFutureG: Thank you. When I got the news and broke down in front of SO, he admitted that his grandfather had it as well. Apparently it runs in his family. 🙁
Post # 7
. I know how you feel. My grandmother had it and instead of putting her in a nursing home, she spent time in her three children’s homes. At the beginning when she stayed with my parents, she was good, it was just little things. Over the years it got progressively worse and we had to put her in a nursing home because it got hard for all of us to properly care for her. I will never forget my first visit to her in the nursing home, she no longer knew my name or even knew I was her granddaughter. I hate this disease and I know my parents will go through it too. 🙁
Post # 8
I am so sorry, I do know how it is. My grandfather passed away 10 years ago now of Alzheimers, it is never easy to deal with
Post # 9
So sorry you are going through this. I worked on the Alzheimer’s unit of a nursing home and still do sometimes, and I know how heartbreaking it is. It’s a horrible disease 🙁 It is also very strange because families tend to do the most grieving while their family members are still living, since that is when you are really losing them. When they do pass it seems to always be more of a relief that the loved one doesn’t have to live that way anymore.
We had one lady admitted to our unit at about 40 years old with early stage Alzheimer’s. She still has a youngish daughter and it is heartbreaking. She may live there for years and years with the disease.
Still visit him and make time for him! I know it’s hard, but the saddest thing is when some of my patieneven ever had any visitors. I always thought that even if I were in that situation I would like to know that my family still came to see me 🙂
Post # 10
@aithinne: My dad has it and I agree with you. It sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It so hard to see the blank look on his face knowing that my dad doesn’t know who I am anymore. It’s super hard on my mom but we all try to keep it together. I find what keeps me from losing it sometimes is just to remember that he isn’t as aware of what’s going on as we are and that I had a great 30 years having my dad and that’s what I have to hold on to- the good memories. A this point it becomes about making sure the person’s quality of life is good and that they are taken care of. Plus you have to take the good days as they come and thank God for every moment you still have vs being sad about the ones you never will. ( I spent a lot of time mourning inititially and it took me a while to get to the point where I can try to appreciate the good moments- it’s a work in progress) I hope you find some comfort in your other family members. Hugs.
Post # 11
You’re not alone <3
My grandfather too has alzheimer’s/dementia, and they just put him in a home yesterday because he was too hard for my grandmother to take care of herself anymore… it’s a sad realization knowing he most likely won’t make it to our wedding 🙁
Post # 12
My grandpa passed away from Alzheimer’s. it is a sad, sad thing. A man who once knew me suddenly looked at me like he was meeting me for the first time. It was sad, but I was at peace with his passing.
I am sorry for your situation. It isn’t easy.
Post # 13
@aithinne: I’m sorry. Hugs.
@SeaTurtle88: Take comfort in the good memories. I wish you well. Alzheimer’s is such a horrible disease. Hugs to you.
Post # 14
@aithinne: Hugs! I know how you’re feeling. I’m watching my grandfather go through the same thing. I have been his favorite my whole life. I have always reminded him of my grandmother. Funny because my grandmother always said I was just like my grandfather. He’s remembered me longer than my siblings and cousins but this last visit it took him about 10 minutes to place me. I can’t explain how my heart broke. He’s been my hero for so long. Shit now I’m crying. I just want you to know you aren’t alone and it does suck. It sucks so bad.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry. I had two grandparents suffer through this, and it’s incredibly heartbreaking to watch. My heart goes out to you! Please try to always cling to the memories you have with him, and use those to cheer you up when you get really sad.