(Closed) Am I a Bad Bridesmaid??

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

bridezilla all the way. 

Post # 4
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

your difinatly not a bad BM!!!!

Post # 5
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I don’t think you are a bad bridesmaid, but I can see her side a little bit. Was she involved in your wedding at all? Once you moved did you talk to her about things for the wedding besides saying I can’t come afford the party, I can’t afford that hotel, can I do my own makeup? Maybe she just felt like you just kept shooting down everything or like it wasn’t important to you.

I can see you side of it too. When money is short what can you do?I can see how it would hurt your feelings that she wasn’t more supportive of you when you had a lot going on.

Either way I don’t think you are terrible and I don’t think she is necessarily a bridezilla.

Post # 6
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

 

I’m truly appalled at the disrespect your sister is showing towards you. This is a true bridezilla – and the fact that she is so unapproachable and unsensitive to her bridesmaids situations makes her a bad bride. 

Its sickening to see the part about how she was UPSET about her bridesmaid getting an operation done before the wedding. I’m assuming its a very important operation (ie : not plastic surgery) and critical towards her health. To be upset with that would make me quit the wedding all together. 

You are in no way a bad bridesmaid. You’re dealing with your spoiled rotten and disrespectful, “everything in the world is about me” sister. 

 

Post # 7
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You are definitely not a bad BM.  Your sister is being very unreasonable.

Post # 9
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

She’s being a bad bride, a bad sister and a bad friend.

I’m sorry you’re going through this.  I always advocate for a calm open conversation.  Most things can be s entitled by getting it off your chest and allowing the other person to respond.  Unfortunately, you cannot reason with the unreasonable.

I don’t know what you can do to fix this when it sounds like there was drama before she even got engaged.

Post # 10
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The only thing I think she can be annoyed at you for is missing the rehearsal. Other than that shes a total bridezilla and should have listened to you when you told her you would be unavailable for many (all?) of the prewedding events. If that was going to be a problem then she should have let you say no. Also its pretty unreasonable to expect your friends to magically have money for everything she wants you to pay for, especially if they are last minute additions.

Post # 11
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Bridezilla. If she wants pro hair and makeup then she pays.

Post # 12
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

The fact you need to ask just highlights what a sweet energy you have. You are dealing with a bridezilla my petal.

She has sadly behaved in an appauling way, and she should have treated you in your hour of need with more respect and caring. Normally, she would deserve some stiff home truthes, but if she is volatile already, there’s no need to create stress for yourself or give her ammunition for painting you as the bad guy (when yolu are clearly the hero).

Perhaps you could try to clear the air with her; say that you are hurt and shocked and wha she has said because you felt you had supported her (including examples), and are actually hurt by her behaviour considering everything you have been through (include examples of her not being considerate), and although you are so excited for her fairytale, it’s impossible to have all the money you would like to and be involved in everything when your life is a flight away (and you did remind her of this in the beginning).

Give her back some personal responsibility; it sounds like most communicaton have been orders rather than conversations and debates. A wedding is a love story come to life, but i’s also just one day, and all relationships muts continue on thereater. Your options to her  could be, you still want to support her and be a part of the bridal party as these events will fade eventually, however, you cannot afford what she wants and she needs to be a little more appreciative and sympathetic. If this is non negotiable, then you should maybe put it back on her and say that if she feels that you aren’t able to supply what she absolutely needs, then either you would appreciate her paying, or you would be happy to be an honoured guest and cut the tension and costs completely.

Light and good things to you; remember whatever happens, it will all be over at the end of the day and you’ve already gone above and beyond 😉  

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

She’s a bridezilla all the way. Really even if the surgery was plastic surgery, getting upset at a girl for having surgery before the wedding is over the top. Even if it was plastic surgery, you are BMS that doesn’t mean your lives have to be put on hold and stopped just for her wedding, or to be at her beck and call. I don’t even fault you for not being able to make the rehearsal, since you have to fly in, you have a house and a husband, a job and a life of your own, if thats the only flight available to you, then its the only flight available. Its a rehearsal not the actual wedding. She is being very unreasonable, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all this. You are definately not a bad bridesmaid.

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