Weddingbee boards

I would definitely speak up about the shower. If you are paying for it, you definitely should have a say in the location and at least a guest list limit (but maybe not the actual list). I think it's odd that she won't tell you the venue, it has to show up on invitations eventually. 

I think every bride is different and some use bridesmaids for more help than just the day of the wedding. 

The shower thing is odd. If you are paying, you should be at least helping to plan it. I'd be furious. That aside, even if I wasn't asking advice, I was sharing all, or at least most, of my wedding planning with my sisters and close friends. My sisters were my BMs. I think you are fine, it's the bride who's being weird. 

Hey there. I just wanna say that I'm a bride, and I haven't really included my MoH in a whole lot of the leg work. I've asked her opinion here and there, emailed her pictures...etc. But I kinda worry about inconviniencing her and also I rather she didn't know every detail about what i'm spending so I didn't invite her to go look at venues, and I think the last thing would be that I feel like I can completley lose it in front of my mom...but not my MoH. I hope this helps.

I still want my MoH to be a big part of my day. But I find myself wanting privacy much of the time. I thought it would be fun to invite her to my first fitting but now I'm worried she won't like my dress until it fits me right. LOL..I guess I worry way too much.  I also want an element of surprise for the entire wedding party. I want them to be amazed at all I did and not feel like they had to help me step by step.

Maybe it's wrong..maybe I'm being silly not including her and not asking her to do much more than plan a party or two. I still need her support as a friend. She's who I cry to if the wedding stuff gets overwhelming. 

Just let her know your there for her.

LOL I had to double check where you were from to make sure this was not one of my bridesmaids, writing. I am a bride who is guilty of pretty much everything you are talking about. My bridesmaids have not been in on any of my decisions, and I honestly prefer it that way. It isn't personal. I just want things the way I want them without someone else giving me their two cents. My FSIL and FMIL have already offered to throw me a shower, which suits me fine. So, sadly, my bridesmaids are out of the loop on that, too. All I need them to do, is show up to the rehearsal and wedding, dressed in the right clothes, and stand by me at the wedding.

One thing is clear, you're not paying for the shower if you're not organizing it!  So you go ahead and tell her that.

I didn't include my BMs too much in choosing things, mainly casue I didn't want to be a bother, so maybe she thinks she's doing you a favor.

It kinda seems like she wants to use you as a free ATM, so you need to stand up for yourself.