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I am not a parent yet, but a lot of my friends who have had babies recently include pictures of their kids on a background of flesh - often with the tell tale curvature of breasts ready to nurse.
I have to ask, do they make you strip down and put the baby on your naked flesh at the hospital? Is this a part of parenthood that I've not heard of, and am only learning about through carefully cropped photos (which my husband asked "is that okay for them to post?) on facebook?
It seems weird to me to be topless while someone is taking pictures... I dunno.
im not a mom but ive been a birthing partner but from that experience i was told that so much of my friends body was everyone elses (from her husband to doctors to midwives and friends) that her inhibitations lowered alot
i was watching her get stitches after the birth and then i thought "omg, im looking into my friends vagina!!!" we both laughed, she said she didnt care and afterwards she happily whipped out her breast to breastfeed (discretely under a wrap when possible) whenever it was needed and she breastfed for about 16mths - i just got use to it
btw. by memory at the hospital she was naked during the birth and there was 3 support people there - she packed shirts and gowns but just did not care by the time she was ready to push
I think all sense of decency goes out the window. Certainly at the hospital you'll be stripped to the waist flashing the tatas for all to see (lactation consultants, nurses etc..) and at that point it's unlikely you'll give a damn... but that phase lasted less than 24 hours for me. I'm still shy!
Yeah from what I can tell, you have so many people looking up your hoo-ha during the birth that you just don't care who sees what anymore. OMGmom had a good post on it.
If you're a prude so am I. It's honestly not something I like to see...though I am not a mother, so maybe that makes a difference. I was over a friend's house and was by no means offended when she whipped out her breast to nurse because it was her house...but I was over my mom's and my sister's sister in law did it in front of everyone and it I'm not going to lie, it personally offended me. When women do it under a wrap or towel i have no problem, but when it's full breast out at a public even or in a picture it bothers me.
I remember when my daughter was born they tried to have me nurse her almost immediately. I usually am a bit prude about those things, but after everyone seeing me with my legs spread open for an hour I was over being modest. The nurses see it all day long every day, and my daughters father was the only other person there, so it didnt bother me too much. Afterwards when family and friends were visiting I was allowed to go behind the curtain on the other side of the room to nurse.
@daydreamwanderer: To answer your question, I (a nurse in NICU) actually do suggest to my patients to strip from the waist up and do lots of skin-to-skin cuddling with their newborns, it is called Kangaroo Care, and has a lot of research as far as the benefits to bonding, feeding, temperature control of the baby, pain control during painful procedures, etc ... so yes, in the hospital, the mom typically spends a lot of time topless when they are in the hospital.
I'm normally pretty shy about my body. But, after I gave birth to my son, modesty was pretty much out the window. Everyone in the room (my son's dad, my bff, my mom, countless nurses, anesthesiologist, ob/gyn, etc) had already seen everything! Honestly, I was so exhausted and caught up in the moment, I didn't even care.
It is possible that they put the baby on moms nekkid skin to help comfort and keep the baby warm. They nurses kept telling me to put my son directly on my skin to help soothe him.
While I was pregnant, I always thought that when it came time to give birth I would wear a hospital gown. But, when I was actually in labour I was so HOT. Its like you need to strip down as having clothes on is suffocating. Plus, after baby is born skin on skin contact is the most important thing for mum and bub, so yes you do have to be naked on your top half. Plus, so many people see your "privates" while in hospital. Midwives are constantly checking your vagina during your hospital stay, when they help you breast feed they touch your breasts to get everything into the right position. And when you tell people your birth story, its easy to forget that other ppl dont want to hear about all the nitty gritty gross details. I guess you loose alot of your inhabitions after having a child haha
I guess that makes sense - the whole concept of you've had your legs spread for an hours, what's the big deal with taking your shirt off.
I think the weirdest was when one of my (male) friends posted a picture of his sister with the baby on her bare chest. It just seemed so weird that she would be topless with her big brother there.
Is it a comfort thing for the baby to feel your skin, or are most women just honestly not wearing much clothing during delivery?
ETA: Thanks to the last three posters who all answered this secondary question while I was typing it! :)
I do think that you really have to experience child birth and breast feeding to really appreciate the beauty that is bring a child into the world. When I see people's photos like your describing I don;t find it offensive, I just think its another beautiful part of being a mummy :)
I think the weirdest was when one of my (male) friends posted a picture of his sister with the baby on her bare chest.
i guess its because as a sibling i never looked at my sister or sister in law as a sexual being and i would like to think my brother would feel the same about me if i was to have children *shrug shoulders*
you've had your legs spread for an hours,
hours, hahah - i got my friend to the hospital about 40mins before the baby was born, her water hadnt broken so we thought we had plenty of time despite the contractions being close - we cut it pretty close i was told and im lucky her water didnt break in my car! yikes
i totally understand all of the pp's, but those are not pictures i personally would post online.
@daydreamwanderer: my guy's little sister would whip her boob out wherever we were, no cover unless her mom demanded she put on one. We were eating out at a restaurant with his mom, dad, sister, and younger brother and she even commented to her little brother "does this make you uncomfortable, hahahaha." 
I have no problem with breast feeding in public but it makes it less awkward for everyone if you throw a blanket over your chest. Whipping your boob out in front of your brothers and dad still seems odd to me.
Having given birth to 4 babies (my youngest almost 2), all modesty goes out the window. You will learn that skin on skin is soooo good for babies and it's almost natural to want to hold your newborn up to the warmest, softest part of your body ... your skin.
After I gave birth, I didn't spend the majority of my time in the hospital totally topless. I wore comfy yoga-type pants and had a nursing bra and a nursing tank top. I also had a button down sweater for the kiddos that I had in the cooler months. I had visitors with every birth and kept my baby and me covered when nursing.
For the record, the pictures aren't expressly OF breasts, the kid just happens to be lying on them. The pictures I've seen have (almost) always been tastfully cropped, whether in taking the picture or afterward.
I don't find it offensive that they're posted on facebook, specifically, I just found it interesting that so many women seem to get nekkid right after birth.
@eloping: normally, most people have longer than 40 min. labours. It seems like you have your legs spread for hours because someone's always coming in to check how dilated you are, so you're constantly accommodating the hands up your vajayjay.
I just found it interesting that so many women seem to get nekkid right after birth.
During my birthing classes, the midwives told us that like 99% of women are naked during birth... Its just so hot and awkward. I mean your in intense pain trying to push out a 7lb baby, so after you've had your baby the last thing your going to think about is getting dressed as all you want to do is hold your baby. And as PPs have said, bub needs to be naked on your naked chest to regulate their temperature and so bub can find your nipple and feed. That first feed is so important, and you can't do it clothed. It does seem very confronting when you first hear about it, but when your experiencing it you don't even think about being clothed!
I remember during hard labour that I didn't want that gown on because it was so freaking restricting (imo)! I didn't mind the blanket/sheet covering me, but the gown was such a pain in the butt!
And, honestly, after birth, you just want to feel that baby against your skin. You really, really do!
When one of my best friends daughter was born 3 years ago she had about a dozen people in the room with her, not including the doctor and nurses. She worked as a receptionist in the labor and delivery unit of our local hospital. They normally only allow like 2-3 people max in the room during labor but they thought they were doing her a favor by allowing EVERYONE who showed up to the hospital to be in there while she was pushing the kid out (this included her husband, her parents, her 2 sisters, 1 brother, her brothers girlfriend, her grandparents, her husbands brother and his girlfriend).
At the time she couldn't even think straight so the fact that they were all in there staring at her vag and watching her poop herself was the last thing on her mind. However, after it was all said and done she was none to pleased that her co-workers allowed her entire family in there and that her family didn't know better than to stay out. I mean c'mon, your father, grandfather, brother and brother in law?! So yea, like most of the other bees have said pretty much all inhibitions go out the window when your in labor.
I am super duper shy. I don't even like my yearly! This is kind of freaking me out! I think my mother told me all modesty goes out the window, but I do not want a single family member or friend ever seeing me naked. Doctors, nurses, my husband- fine, but the moment I see a family member or friend heading in I want to be covered. That's just the way I roll.
Maybe I'm a prude too, but I'm a mother, and I agree that I find it weird. I don't care if someone is covered, but when it's out in the open it bothers me. I actually sat next to someone on a plane who nursed (shirt on, but you could still see everything). I had to do everything I could not to look, because it was awkward, and I really didn't want to see it.
I was never fully naked at the hospital. I kept the gown on the entire time, except for right after Yuuki was born when they unsnapped it without even warning me. It really freaked me out. They also had special gowns that you could wear that made breastfeeding possible without completely stripping.
Then again, I wasn't too hot at all during labor. I was uncomfortable, but that was about it.
While others are right that modesty kind of goes out the window, I didn't much care for any of the skin-on-skin contact, especially when it came to breastfeeding, and the nurses grab you to help position better. I let them do their thing, but it was so awkward.
At home, yes, if you don't have nursing shirts, you need to completely strip up top.
I was always really shy before I had my son. Every time I had an appointment to see if I was dialated or such I would try to close my legs so they couldn't see but the medicine made it so I didn't care...I went back to closing my legs after that though. I blame the drugs! lol. I spent a lot of the first couple months topless in my bedroom feeding or holding him but never when anyone other than his dad was around. I was told by many people that skin-on-skin contact is a good way to bond with your child. It is how they get to feel comfortable. My FI used to spend time holding our son with his shirt off when he usually always has one on. I can understand some people posting pictures like that, if they are cropped, but I wouldn't even post the cropped ones personally. I'm too shy about my body for that.
It's boobs people. Just boobs. We all have 'em, we all see 'em every single day. It's perfectly natural to be naked with your baby - it doesn't get much more personal than having said baby grow inside of you for 9 months.
And to answer your question.. if the simple curvature of a breast with a mother and baby in a photograph offfends you then yes, I would call that being a prude.
When you have a baby, you stop seeing your fun bags as being something "sexual" and you start to see them as a source of nutrition for your baby.
Right now, after 4 kids, I'm happy that my fun bags have gone back to being sexual again!
@BanditGirl: LOL, "fun bags"
When I was in the hospital it felt like I spent all my time changing her diapers, sleeping, and BFing her. So MOST of our pictures at the hospital at least one of my "fun bags" was hanging out feeding the baby. We did our best to make sure not to post any nipples, but chest and some boobage? Yep. Posted that. We only had one photo where I dragged myself out of my drug induced haze long enough to cover up and take a decent photo. Then I took my pills and went happily back into the haze, hehe.
I'm sure I won't care in the hospital, and I'm all about the kangaroo thing, but no way in hell are those photos going up on facebook. It may be beautiful and natural, and I'm not SO weirded out by friends BF-ing in front of me, but I would find it really odd to put pictures like that out in the world in a setting where they could be seen by people who know me in any kind of casual or professional context. I think if you've gone through childbirth before, it's nothing surprising, but if you haven't been around birth/BF-ing/babies, I think it's pretty normal to be like "whoa, I did not need to see all that."
@Dollygold: I don't think OP was saying that she was offended, just that it was odd for her to see pictures of it on Facebook, even if anything wasn't really showing. I personally wouldn't want any pictures of my boobs, cropped or otherwise, posted on Facebook, even if it is a "beautiful" thing with the baby and all, and I don't want really want to see boobs either, not on Facebook. Or blown up to some huge size and hung above the mantle. I'm aware bonding is important, but yeah... not for photo sharing with everyone.
Obviously, I'm not a parent, but I've been around enough friends and family members to see that modesty is totally out when you're in labor. With that said, no, no one's posted pictures of it on Facebook. And as far as breastfeeding goes, my step sister in law, who was the only person that I know of to breast feed, always excused herself or covered up if she was with anyone other than her husband.
@daydreamwanderer: yeah, I saw those same photos of my close friend and my brother's gf recently. I didn't think of it as anything because I have heard that it's good for the baby to have skin to skin contact with the mother and father. I would do it whenever I do become pregnant but would definitely cover up for certain people. Like my brother, DH's father and kids. I'm a shy person too so I wouldn't feel comfortable showing everyone my goods. I'm not sure if I want a photo like that (even if it is cropped) up on facebook, though. It's probably a great family photo to share amongs ourselves but not on facebook. I don't know though, I may be so tired when the photo is taken that I don't care and may not have the opportunity to un-tag myself from the photos that pop up on facebook. I don't think it's a problem because the DH is weirder than I am about what photos should be on facebook. So I'm sure he will ask people to take them down if he saw them.
The last thing you think about when having a baby or just had one is who sees your boobs. In fact, when nursing, you just give up all hope.
Seriously, your man is going to be in the room, your mother? maybe some doctors, midwives, nurses etc. You're going to bleed everywhere, pee yourself, get sweaty, do mad facial expressions, swear a bit, scream, cry. And the best part: you'll DEFINITELY poo yourself. It's just part of the process.
;)
@eloping: Far out, it's one thing to whip them out and feed bubs after it all, but I'd be pissed if someone posted a topless pic of me online! :o
you'll DEFINITELY poo yourself
my friend didnt - to be honest i never even thought it was a possibility until after she had the baby, as i was the one taking pics as the baby was coming out i would have needed therapy if she had im sure!
I am a prude, with everyone except my beloved, and I know I won't give a darn during childbirth... However, afterwards all bets are back on, and I am staying covered for sure. There are things called HooterHiders and they are made specifically for covering the tatas when in use. I will being investing in one of those puppies the second I get preggers and I will use it as soon as the pain and learning processes are over.
@cbee: Yeah, agreed. I know I don't want anyone to be present during my labor but my husband and doctors/nurses/midwives. I am really not keen on the idea of having a baby right now (I mean, I'm shooting for about ten years from now), but my body's my own and just because I'm having a baby doesn't mean I'm going to let myself forget that it's still my body and certain parts once had a private and sexual function and hopefully will again in the as-near-as-possible future. My aunt sent us a picture of her topless while nursing my newborn cousin in the hospital, via email, and I remember both my mom (who, uh, gave birth) and I both finding it really weird. Sorry, it may be natural and beautiful, but it's still a topless picture of someone who I never cared to see topless. Boobs don't universally cease to be sexual just because a baby is using them for nourishment in one case, so when I see boobs, I'm still going to think "fun bags", whether or not that's how you currently think of your own atm. I don't think that's me being dirty or immature, that's just me acknowledging the fact that I and others alike enjoy using our boobs as fun bags, and that's what they are for most women for most of their lives. Same goes for vaginas. And I don't think that's prudish in the slightest.
And about the "everybody poops while giving birth" thing--I have watched countless uncut videos of "natural" births at this point, without epidurals or painkillers, etc, and not once have I seen anyone poop themselves. I think pooping yourself must be more common when you've lost a significant amount of control over your body due to epidurals and being on your back on a hospital bed and so on, for similar reasons to the way women are more likely rip 'down there' when they've been given an epidural and are lying on their back and have less control over their bodies and their pushing. Yet another +1 for a natural birth in my book. God I hope I have no pregnancy complications that prohibit me from delivering that way. Not saying it's impossible to poop yourself while delivering without pankillers or in a standing position or in water or whatever, just that it seems a lot less likely from what I've seen and read.
I'll be avoiding photos while i'm topless and if my husband posts anything like that, i'll give him a good smack upside the head!
I have a Brazilian friend that posted pics of a family party with her breastfeeding in the background. I was a little shocked when I saw that, especially since it was out in the open and people were near her. Then I realized there were more pictures - close-ups ... yet they were so casual, nothing posed, she was just sitting there. It was so natural. I don't think I can ever be so free like that but I think it's nice to be able to.
@tobin: you'll DEFINITELY poo yourself
I didn't! No one I know in my FI's family has done it either. Saying something like that is going to seriously gross someone out and it's not true so you probably shouldn't say they DEFINITELY will. It's possible, yes, but not very common from what I hear.
LOL! During my sons birth about 15 people saw my hoo-ha! I didn't know a single one of them other then my hubby and my delivery doctor. I had a C-section but there I still was laid out all naked! By the time my follow up appointment came around and they did a vag check I just didn't care. I figured half the world has already seen it in the past month, why not let the other half!? haha
I didnt breast feed so I have no input on that. But for really, all decency goes right out the window right after having a baby.
I'm not modest at all and was completely naked during contractions/delivery. It was too damn hot to have anything on :) I stayed naked from the top up for quite a while too. It was just easier. But that was NOT with a slew of company coming by the hospital - I had a nightgown on by the time we had visitors.
That being said I did not post any naked/booby pics on facebook or anything :)
A couple pics it was really my shoulder or arm or some other body part - but since so little of it was showing it looked like boob. None of those shots were posted anywhere public!
I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a prude, and things like this always surprise me. No judgment, I promise. Just something I personally wouldn't be comfortable with when (in the far off future), I have kids.
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