(Closed) Am I A Run Away Bride ???

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@DevolSyawla: As long as you are sure about the man then I don’t think anything is wrong. You probably just have cold feet about marriage. Can you gives us some back information? Are your parents divorced? Have you seen many divorces?

I think you will be fine if you take things one step at a time. Maybe moving and wedding planning are just too much pressure right now. Doesn’t mean never. Relax, enjoy your relationship, and enjoy love.

Post # 5
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@DevolSyawla: How old are you?

I still don’t think it is uncommon. Just enjoy your relationship. Nothing says you HAVE to get married right now or move in. If it takes you one year to be ready for marriage or 5 it’s perfectly normal either way and as long as you are sure about the guy, I don’t see a problem.

Post # 7
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

I think you may just not be ready for marriage; that’s completely separate from wanting to be with someone forever.  I can relate to you in a lot of ways, I’m 25 and have been with my SO since we were 19; if we had gotten engaged at 21 I would’ve been freaking out too!  I love my alone time, having my own bedroom, being able to do whatever I want when I want without thinking about someone else.  I love being able to cook whatever I want to eat and just being me!  I know I can be me with my SO when we do finally move in together, but there’s just something different.

I think you need to sit down with him and discuss your fears.  What specifically about moving in together and getting married is difficult for you?  Reiterate over and over that it has nothing to do with him!  I wrote a post on the Waiting boards about not judging people who’s SO’s are stalling with proposing and one of the reasons I said not to is that some SO’s are freaky about marriage itself, separate from their SO.  This was how my SO was, he was very leery of marriage the institution, but not of me.  He got over his fears of the institution and is now ready to propose soon!

A good book that may help you out is Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert (she wrote Eat, Pray, Love).  It’s about how she researches and becomes ok with marriage after being “forced” by immigration to marry her SO.  It could really help you get over some of your cold feet.  But really, talk to him about it!

Post # 8
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Please try not to stress out. Nothing is “wrong” with you. I’m 25 and I feel like I’m really young to be getting married; when I was 21 I was nowhere even REMOTELY near ready to settle down. There is nothing “wrong” with not being ready at 21… Nor is there anything “wrong” with not being ready at ANY age! It’s just the way you are right now and that is okay!

If you want to try and work things out with your SO, I’d say just take it slow and live apart for a while. Maybe by the end of this year without a qualifier like a wedding hanging over your heads you can relax and take it easy and actually enjoy yourselves.

Or, if you find that you don’t actually want to be with your SO, then it’s okay to be on your own for a while. That is a hard pill to swallow but is often one of the best.

Good luck and please take care of yourself. YOU are the only one you will definitely have to live with for the rest of your life!

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