- 5 years ago
My boyfriend and I are long distance. We live in two different countries, about an hour and a half plane ride away from each other.
We love each other very much and although it is not easy we try to make our relationship work.
Now, the problem is that during the 6 month of having a long distance relationship, I have visited him in May, October and going to visit him for Christmas as well. Furthermore, I spent the night at his place on my way to another country, and I had a quick visit due to family reasons (this trip was paid by my family).
Him, on the other side, he has visited me once only. This time, when I was home in October, I asked if he is going to visit me before I come home for Christmas and he said that he can’t afford it. I know that he is not financially on top – he spent some money on our anniversary dinner at a fancy restaurant.
On one hand, I understand that it must be stressful not to have money and he does not have a credit card either. On the other hand, I do not have much either (I do have a credit card, however), and I still manage to visit him once in a while.
I am not sure here whether I am overreacting, but I feel hurt by the fact that he does not have the need to see me before Christmas, and that I feel that I am investing more in this relationship than him.
Am I completely wrong for thinking that?
He often says he does not have money/cannot afford stuff and normally he does stress a lot about his finances (he has an expensive apartment). But I am just thinking if you really want to see someone, you would make it happen right?
When I told him that I really want to see him (and it is his turn to visit), he said that he will figure something out, but I am the only one who keeps bringing it up. I am not sure if I should just let him take charge of this, or maybe accept the fact that we wont see each other before Christmas, and then make it clear to him that next year it is his turn to visit me (he said that he counts on having more cash as from next year due to restructuring of his mortgage loan).
I guess I just need to hear your opinions on this situation. Apart from this, he is a very loving, loyal and kind boyfriend, and we are quite serious about each other (I am going to meet his family this Christmas).