Post # 1
I am close to my dad. I’m his baby girl and all that good stuff. However, my dad does not dance. We have never danced together. I also have anxiety issues and it’s going to take everything out of me to do the first dance with my husband. My dad says we should dance because he danced with my older sister at her wedding. My mom says we should dance because she believes in following tradition and it is “expected.” I could give a crap less about what is expected. That’s why I’m not throwing a bouquet and all that other stuff that doesn’t matter to me (Which my mom also gives me hell about and takes every opportunity she can to bring it up to people like its the most horrific thing she has ever heard).
I have come up with the alternative of having a few private minutes before the ceremony to “reveal” my dolled-up self to my parents, give them their gifts and pray together. I think this would be so much more special than spinning in a circle with my dad in front of a bunch of strangers. BUT people (family members) are making me feel like a terrible person for not wanting to do it.
So, am I a terrible daughter for not wanting to do this dance? Help me, Bees!
Post # 3
@Loubride: No, you aren’t terrible but to be honet the dance is more for your father than for you….It is kinda daddys last moment with his daughter before she isn’t all his anymore. I think you should do it because of the emotional connection it hold rather than tradition. If your Dad asked then I would say that doing it for HIM would be a nice gesture. He has given you away and that dance is so meaningful. My father picked out the song for our dance and the song he chose was like a window into how he feels and that dance will be his chance to hold me for a little longer. I would just suck it up and do it for Daddy. Tradition isn’t always there because of silly purposes, sometimes it sticks around because it has developed a deeper meaning.
-I also decided not wanting to toss the boquet or the garter
Post # 4
I am not dancing with my father because he won’t be there, as he is in a nursing home. I wasn’t going to anyway, his choice, because of him being in a power chair prior to going in the home. I didn’t push it because he said he would feel awkward.
I am not having a bouquet or garter toss as well, since I think it breaks into the momentum of the party, puts pressure on the single people and there will be only one or two singles there!
Post # 5
We’re not having a traditional wedding at all and their will be no dancing at all cause my boyfriend doesent like it but regardless I would not do the father daughter dance. It would be so awarkward! I haven’t danced with my dad since I was seven..I’m not going to start now
Post # 6
You are NOT a bad person for not doing what makes you uncomfortable. We aren’t having a father-daughter dance (my dad passed away a few years ago, and my grandpa passed away last year), nor a mother-son dance (common where we are). Not sure if FMIL would even want to, but it hasn’t been brought up and we just aren’t doing it.
Post # 7
- Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts
I do not think you are a terrible person for not wanting to dance with your dad…especially if he hates to dance. Its your personal preference as long as you can ignore the negative comments from family members. I have never danced with either of my dads (step dad that raised me nor biological dad). And although it is going to be totally weird dancing with them both…I will for tradition sake. I too feel like its a statement that its last moment that I am their responsibility…especially my step dad who raised me. So if anyone deserves that moment its him.
Post # 8
I’m probably doing the dance because my FI wants to dance with his mom, so it’d be awkward if I didn’t dance with him. I’m also walking down the aisle alone and he wont be making a speech at the reception so the dance seems good
Post # 9
@Loubride: I didnt do one and me and my Dad love to dance! The reason was that Husband did want the mother/son dance cause he thinks its weird so we had to get rid of them both just to be fair. I did end up dancing with my Dad at our reception though but on the dance floor with everyone else dancing too