- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I call him FI on these boards, but maybe it should be switched to SO?
At some point at the beginning of this year, we talked about what a terrible 2012 we had and what an amazing 2013 we were going to have (and one of the reasons he mentioned was an engagement). We also discussed not doing a ring at all because the ring I want is very expensive and we’re looking forward to buying a house instead.
A few months ago, FI turned to me and said that he wants to marry me next year, that he doesn’t want to wait until 2014, and that since we’re looking at a destination wedding, I should start planning.
At some point between all this, I found out about Moissanite and how it could be an affordable alternative, fell in love with the stone, sent it to him, etc. He agreed that if we were to do a ring, that would be a possibility, but was unsure if I would be ok with not having a diamond (I am). Pretty much since then, he’s definitely hinted to the fact that there is a ring, he may or may not have it, there will be an actual proposal that he will definitely surprise me with, etc.
After we started planning, we hit a few bumps in the road with the planning and I decided to put it on hold while he was busy with something until the end of July since I didn’t want to distract his concentration. After that ended, I tried to bring it up a few times – specifically whether we want a destination wedding anymore, if so when, if not what are we going to do and when, etc. He never really answers me, saying he doesn’t know and that now I don’t even know what I want. We even discussed the possibilty of eloping (I’m kind of interested in the idea of skipping the wedding altogether, getting myself a wedding gown, getting him a nice suit, casually inviting whomever wants to join us to join us, and then heading out and having our own ceremony followed by an amazing honeymoon that we would be able to afford if we weren’t paying for a wedding instead).
Finally, the other night he turns to me and says that he doesn’t want to discuss the wedding again until after we move (looks like we’ll be moving sometime in October) because there are too many stressful things going on and he doesn’t even know what the end of this year looks like, let alone the end of next year, to be planning a wedding.
Now I feel like I’m waiting.. am I waiting for this proposal? am I waiting for us to move? am I waiting at all or have we just put off and on hold the plans?
I guess I’m a little confused because there’s no question that he wants to marry me and that he wants it to happen next year sometime, but then I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to talk plans because he knows that a lot of the venues we already contacted for our DW were booked (18 months in advance!!) and if we wait til we move, it will be closer to a year before the date we want and thus, even less likely for us to find an venue we can both agree on. And, isn’t there always some sort of stressful event going on? Should we really be putting our lives/future/wedding on hold because we’re supposed to be moving states in Oct? Am I being a brat? hahaa
Oh – PS – he even took me wedding dress shopping once before! And, told me he would take me to a trunk show I wanted to go to. It’s not like he’s not serious about the wedding, but then why do I feel like I’m “waiting” right now??