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I see a lot of posts from brides who feel very upset about their groom's bachelor party. Some of them are even contacting the Best Man to tell him not to allow personal strippers, etc. Am I the only bride who wants her Fiance to have the awesomest time ever? I told him the only boundary was to not bring home an STD (and I don't trust condoms to protect from STD's, so basically oral and vaginal sex are not allowed).
I don't mind. I know he isn't going to do anything crazy like that. But i did tell him and his best man that they had to do something that they wouldn't normally do. It didn't have to last all night, it could be a very quick thing. I just didn't want him to remember his bachelor party as another night playing video games with the boys.
For new years my good freind who is a bridesmaid along with her husband decided to take us to a strip club as sort of a pre-bachelorette party (my FI was along). I normally wouldn' have done this. But it was an epic night, and my FI bought me a lap dance :o ! So if his bachelor party was to be something like the crazy stripper I wouldn't mind and I would totally trust him.
I did tell him and his best man that they had to do something that they wouldn't normally do
I like this :)
I'm not bothered but only because I know SO was to shoot a stag for his "stag" party. He think's that would be pretty cool.
I was really happy for him to go out and have a great time with his guy friends. They spend the whole weekend away and he had a blast. He'd actually never been to a strip club prior to his bachelor party, so I told him he *should* go!
I didn't ask a ton of questions about it, but I know he would never do anything to hurt our relationship. I totally trust him and he totally trusts me. My only stipulation was asking him to text once a day (didn't matter when) so I knew he was alive and wasn't passed out drunk on the streets somewhere!
It was especailly good for him to have a longer bachelor party because he'd already moved to the UK before our wedding so he hadn't even seen his best friends in months.
I told my FI he can do whatver he wants as long as he doesn't blow our savings in vegas, does drugs or cheats. Personally, I don't care about strippers, drinking, etc. My FI is a pretty reserved guy and at this point he thinks he might go to a football game just cause he can.
Meh.
Ummm.... So you don't mind him making out with random strippers or getting a handjob? That is absolutely cheating in my books.
I totally wanted my DH to have an amazing time. In fact, I offered to purchase his stripper. I wanted him to have the kind of night you remember, just like mine was.
But I've never, ever been worried about him cheating on me or doing things he shouldn't (like BJs, Handjobs, etc). If he was that kind of guy I would have reined in the festivities a bit.
I say you're supposed to trust the guy you're marrying!
I want my FH to have fun with his guys at his bachelor party. Whatever he decides to do is completely fine by me. I know who I'm marrying, and I don't need to be his mother and tell him what he can and cannot do. He already knows and so do his buddies.
I wanted DH to have a great time and I knew there were strippers involved. But I would never go as far as telling him to do anything as long as he didn't get an STD. To me even kissing in cheating, but a lap dance and getting drunk with his friends is pretty harmless in my books, not for an everyday thing but for a bachelor party definetly.
@OP - so you'd be ok with him digitally penetrating her or her giving him a h/j? I don't think so.
@MyAlterEgo: That's what I was thinking...
DH was free to do as he pleased for his. He didn't have strippers, but he's not much into them anyway.
I'm happy that he gets to spend time with his guy friends. they all live in different states, so it's very rare that they get to spend time together. I think they'll probably go to dinner, get drunk, and go to the casino. I trust him 100% and I know he would never do anything stupid to hurt the relationship.
I couldn't wait for him to go out! In fact, I gave his brother a $20 to make sure he got a really good lap dance! The next day I was anxious to hear everything that went on..not because I was suspicious..but because I wanted him to have fun!
@MyAlterEgo: I think she was saying she trusts him and isn't worried about that. I trust my man to and do not care about strippers.
Well of course - there's a difference between a naked woman grinding on your FI and any sort of physical sexual interaction between them. Its not rocket science. E.g,: NOT OK:
- Kissing (At all)
- FI intentionally touching boob
- Any internal penetration
- Any genital touching
(If I need to go higher than this, then you have bigger problems...)
I am totally excited for my FI to have his bachelor party. I know he is not going to cheat so I just want him to have fun with his friends. Getting together with everyone is one of the best parts of this whole wedding process!
@MyAlterEgo: Im also pretty sure she was saying she trusts him and isn't worried about that. @Pinkmoon: Im also pretty sure she was saying she trusts him and isn't worried about that.
@MyAlterEgo: those are things that are not ok to you though. Just because you have a problem with some of those things doesn't mean that you are right. Personally I think it seems a little insecure to worry about if he grazes a breast but that doesn't make me right.
I am somewhat happy.. that he is going to have a good time.. (not necc by the means he is going to have a good time lol) but happy none the less. However I hope that I don't have to tell my FI that oral and vaginal sex as well as penetration in any orphace on anyone but me is never allowed.
I'm not a fan of strippers, but my FI doesn't want any anyhow and doesn't need them to have a fun bachelor party. I'm very happy he's going to have such an awesome party! FI's friends have such amazing stuff planned! (They're going paintballing, then to a comedy club then to Niagra falls to hit up a casino and party all night in their hotel room and then having a superbowl party the next day). I'm kind of jealous lol I wish I could come!
@singlemom: [comment moderated per commenting policy] If you don't have a problem with your FI kissing a stripper/groping their boob/penetrating them internally/or having their genital reciprocally touched, then good for you!
If I found out my husband got a handy the night of his bachelor party even now, three and a half years later, we'd have a problem.
There is, of course, a massive difference between 'grazing a breast' and 'groping a boob.'
@ my alter ego & pinkmoon-
I feel like if you have to worry about any of the above stated happening, you might have more issues than just a fight over the bacholar party- ie... You're insecure or he's a dog... Eitherway does not bode well.
Sent from my iphone
@imalittlebirdie: i think they are saying that if you actually have to tell him don't bring home an STD, there's something a little wrong there. He shouldn't need to have a warning like that. It's rather obvious, unless you don't trust him or something. Not saying that OP doesn't trust him, but I wouldn't give my SO that warning because I trust him enough to already know, don't cheat on me.
@MyAlterEgo: there is also a massive difference between touching a breast (my child says boob lol i cant) and groping a breast.
Imalittlebirdie i think you are 100% correct ;D
If you look at the helpful bullet points, you'll see that 'grazing a breast' is not on there. If this were a thread from some poor Bee who had caught her FI/OH/DH out then you all would be up in arms if they had contravened one of the bullet points. No way around it.
@MissCallieJean: Haha yeah. I trust my DH 100%, hence why I only had to ask him to remember to let me know he was ok once a day. That's the only thing I worried that he'd forget to do. I had no worry at all about him doing something to damage our relationship.
@MyAlterEgo: my goodness you are persistent aren't you? What you termed as the very charming and childish 'touching a boob, is the same as grazing imo. Also you are as new as me so how do you proclaim to how people would react here?
@KatNYC2011: haha well letting the love of your life know that you are alive and not hurt is a more than reasonable request! :)
@singlemom: Wow, just, wow. Does the SN not give you a hint?
I fully agree that 'accidental' grazing could be excused, but 'intentional touching' is a different ball game.
@singlemom: I am pretty old here and I agree with @MyAlterEgo:. I don't think the bees would support a FI or DH if their wife found out that they penetrated someone, swapped spit, etc etc
Well all I can say is I am super jealous of all of you super secure bees. I don't trust any guy 100 percent, that includes my FI who I love and trust very much, but more like 99% i do have a problem with strippers, it is very sexual to a guy and they do get very turned on I just don't like the thought of boobs in my FI's face or some stripper grinding her butt on top of his crotch, dry humping or whatever. If my FI was planning his own party there wouldn't be any stripperbeget his friends are and I am positive they will get hiM some strippers, I wish I could just sleep through the whole weekend......I am dreading it. I wish I was on the same page as you gals
@MrsNeutrino: Yep. Listen to MrsN - she speaks (as always!) a lot of sense!
@MrsNeutrino: in the past you couldn't Post from your iPhone but you can now :)
@imalittlebirdie: I could NOT agree more!
FI's only rule for the night, and I have told all of his groomsmen, is to just honest about what is going down. If he gets one lapdance or 27 lapdances, fine....if they spend all night at the rippers, fine...but if I get lied to, that is a whole other ball game.
Now that's not to say he is "allowed" to have sex with a stripper, or do anything over the line, but honestly, I don't think that needs to be said. And if I thought I had to tell my FI "BTW, you can't sleep with a random chick at your bachelor party", then I wouldn't be marrying the guy.
@Missloveknot: Moreso, I just don't trust peer pressure. Now, I know my FI would never have sex (oral or otherwise) with anyone else, but I think if his friends were egging him on he might go past a few smaller boundaries that he normally would never even consider. I do think it's best to be clear about what the boundaries are. It's not because you do not trust him but just because it's good to be on the same page. Where the line is drawn is different for different couples.
Like I said, my FI didn't want strippers at his party anyhow, so it's kind of a non-issue for us.
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