Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor has brought up my bachelorette party a handful of times. She’s told me the idea that she has and asked me what I had in mind. I told her that I would think about it and let her know but honestly, I’ve known what I wanted to do for my bachelorette party since before we were engaged.
I’ll start with her idea. She suggested we do a wine tasting weekend in the Finger Lakes. This would require us to drive about 4 hours north and stay overnight at a vineyard or local hotel. We would do some wine tasting, probably go out to a nice dinner and breakfast the following day, and then head home. Sounds lovely right? Only one problem, I don’t really like wine! I’ve been trying to train myself to drink it and there are a few that I can stomach but I’m certainly not going to benefit at all from a wine tasting tour (nor do I really have any desire to go on one).
Now onto my idea. I would really like to go to a Broadway show in NYC. I grew up there and went to shows all the time when I was younger, though I haven’t been in a few years and I’m itching to go back. My bridesmaids and I are all into musical theatre so this is right up everyone’s alley. The only other people besides my girls that would be included are our moms, my aunt and my Future Sister-In-Law.
We’re 3 hours from the city so we could potentially leave early in the morning, spend some time shopping, go to the show, have a nice dinner and drive home the same day but I would prefer to stay overnight. In total we would have 8 people coming and everything would be split evenly (I know I’m not supposed to pay for myself and all that jazz, but if we do something like this, I won’t feel right asking them to cover my portion). I estimate the whole thing costing each person about $200 or so.
I feel bad about asking anyone to spend money on me that’s why I asked that we have my bridal shower at my Aunts house. That way everyone can just bring a dish and it can be done for relatively cheap. I’m also going to choose bridesmaids dresses under $150 and let them wear whatever they want for shoes (within reason). Their hair and makeup will be done by the team that comes to the resort to do my hair. I’ll be paying for all of that. I’ve also mentioned in passing that none of them are expected to give us any gifts. Being my bridesmaids are gift enough.
I haven’t even entertained this idea with my bridesmaids yet because I feel greedy asking them to do this for me. Our family wouldn’t have any issue paying their own way but 2/3 of my bridesmaids are struggling financially, though hopefully their situations are a little better in the next few months. I assume my bachelorette party will probably take place in late August/early September of next year.
(I’m sneakily typing this at work so my apologies if some of this stuff doesn’t make sense. I don’t have time to proofread it like I normally do) =)
Post # 3
I think you should at least be able to talk it over with you Maid/Matron of Honor. Tell her to be honest with you and if she thinks its asking too much then maybe you have to drop it. But she should at least know what you would like to do! If a broadway show isn’t possibile, maybe something could be planned for a show in a different city, like Syracuse or Albany (I know, not as exciting) you’d at least enjoy it more than wine-tasting. And who knows? Maybe everyone will be really excited and up for the broadway show. It sounds like an awesome bachelorette to me. Good luck!
Post # 4
i agree you should at least tell her your idea… and more importantly, tell her you don’t like wine! she might even feel after the fact she does the wine tasting thing and finds out you are not even into it!
Post # 5
It’s funny because she’s been my best friend for 15 years yet somehow thought that I would like to go wine tasting. Clearly she doesn’t pay much attention, lol.
Post # 6
frankly if your bms are struggling financially i’m not sure how they could afford either option, but i’m guessing nyc is definitely more expensive than finger lakes. are there theatres in your hometown where you could go see a play?
Post # 7
Definitely have a chat with her about the wine tour idea not being a hit with you.
Is it possible for you to spring for the tickets for the show? If you do a group purchase the cost per ticket will be less.
If you deduct the cost of the show tickets, the two ideas would cost about the same, wouldn’t they?
Post # 8
WooHoo NYC girl here! But unfortunately, I don’t have very good news for you. A night in NYC is pricey. Even split between 8 people. A Broadway show will probably cost everyone at least $100 each. And a hotel in Time Square will probably run about $300/night. Even if you squeeze 4 girls in each room, thats $75 each. A nice dinner in Manhattan, with drinks, could easily run between $50 – $100/per person. And then extra meals (lunch, breakfast, snacks) run up the tab. You see how quickly it adds up, and why your BM’s might be hesitant to shell out this kind of dough.
But if you have your heart set on it there are a few ways you can cut costs. Maybe don’t stay over night? Or nix the Broadway show and do a comedy show instead? Those normally run like $20 per person, or sometimes you can get free tickets. You can also find a cheaper hotel in New Jersey. Just find a place near the PATH train so you can take the train in for about $2.00 per person. Use HotWire.com to find good discounts, and sign up for TravelZoo.com, they send out great deals. I find deals for NYC all the time.
Post # 9
Would the trip to NY be the same price as wine tasting? If so, I say ask your Maid/Matron of Honor about it. If it’s going to be a lot more expensive and 2/3 of your bridesmaids are struggling financially, asking them to spend $200 on a party is a bit much. $200 is a lot for someone who’s struggling.
Post # 10
There is also just allowing those who can’t afford it to opt-out of going. There have been times in the past where I did that- being ‘busy’ because I couldn’t afford to do something.
Post # 11
If you want to see a show, there are a lot of off-broadway ones that are just as good or even better than broadway and they’re much more affordable. Also check out theatermania.com for show discounts. Couple that with staying in Jersey and going to a nice but affordable place for dinner (I could give you some suggestions, my whole NYC lifestyle is on a shoestring budget!), it could totally be affordable. Talk with your Maid/Matron of Honor, your Bachelorette Party should be something you want to do.
Post # 12
I agree, as long as you give the BM’s that can’t afford it an “out” then I think thats fine.
IMO, $200 is a bit much to spend on a trip like that even with everything else being on the cheap. I would say if there is any way to keep it under $150 that would be great.
How would you get to the city? Is that transportation expensive?
If you really want to do a show why not a Sunday matinee or an “off Broadway” type of show where you can get tickets for under $50 each. Head in early Sunday morning, shop, go to lunch (cheaper than dinner), go to the show, and then if you want to “party” maybe just do it locally or at someone’s house with a sleepover there?
Post # 13
i didn’t read all the posts, so maybe someone already said this, but i know you can get broadway tickets for cheap at those TKTS Discount Booths – you just have the tickets on the day of the show. sometimes you can get tickets for 50% off!
Post # 14
I would say if you start planning it now its enough time to save for the girls who really want to go. For the girls who can’t go, would you also be able to do something closer to home? Even just a cheap night out at the bar for happy hour or something?
I love NYC and I would jump at the chance to go, even though I am in the process of buying a house and planning a wedding and have 0 money to spend. Given 8 months to save though, I would find a way to make it work.