Am I being a bad bridesmaid, or is she being a bridezilla?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would not agree to do something like this (or put my bridal party through it either) so I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

Post # 5
428 posts
Helper bee

Total Bridezilla moment. Even the most sane and reasonable brides can have those moments, unfortunately.

This is a total non-starter. It was perfectly fine for her to raise it as an idea, but once there was pushback, she should have politely dropped it like a nuclear potato. The fact that she directly told a non-bridesmaid ‘of course you’re doing it’ is just icing.

Is there any possibility that she’s so engrossed in her little fantasy world that she truly does not understand that you guys don’t want to do it? If so, I’d give her a pass for her behavior, but sit her down and explain gently, but in no.uncertain.terms. that this is not happening, and people do not want to do it.

If she *does* realize that people don’t want to do it, and is pushing anyway, then I would do the exact same thing, but be prepared for her to have a tantrum. I would then call her out directly on the tantrum, and let the chips fall where they may.

Post # 3
7055 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

cece_intheuk:  I 100% agree with you. When you signed up for being a bridesmaid, you did not sign up for either (a) many hours of dance rehearsal, or (b) humiliating yourselves with a poorly executed dance. (or (c) both).

You’ve already gone above and beyond the call of duty by giving her a destination bachelorette. Just continue to firmly say “no”. Also, remind her that unless everybody is on board and capable, it will probably be an embarassing disaster.

Post # 4
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

cece_intheuk:  Don’t be angry, that’s just a waste of energy. Just say that you are not willing to perform.

Post # 6
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Ugh, this is downright creepy, especially the part where she thinks the dance will be BETTER since you guys will be bad at it? Basically she wants her guests to have a good time by laughing at her BMs awkwardly trying to do a choreographed dance. No thank you! Total Bridezilla move. If she keeps at it I would just sweetly stick to my guns, saying “I’ll totally do the dance, but I don’t want to upstage you for even one minute of the wedding… I’m sooo worried what people will say… so I’m afraid I can only do the dance if you join in!”. I bet you she’ll drop it!!

Post # 7
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

She’s being a bitch. No way would I be cool with it, and I think group dances are… tacky. 

Post # 8
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

cece_intheuk:  I would rather hang upside down naked from a chandelier than perform a dance at a wedding. And anyone who is a close enough friend of mine to ask me to be a bridesmaid knows that. I would have said HELL NO if one of them suggested this. This is beyond normal expectations… your friend needs to understand that not everyone is comfortable doing this like this!! 

Post # 10
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I literally saw this happen on an episode of Bridezillas… So I’m going to go with Bridezilla.  This is an absurd request. 


Post # 11
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

cece_intheuk:  I would never ask this of my bridesmaids and i’d be pretty horrified if I was asked to do it as a bridesmaid! I don’t think you’re being unreasonable and to be honest, if its going to be awkward, I wouldn’t enjoy watching it as a guest either!

If none of you are in to it, just stress that to her – it’d be pretty rediculous of her to try and force you and hopefully she’ll see that.. eventually!

Post # 12
632 posts
Busy bee

hahaha NO.


Post # 14
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Who would do this to their friends? Sounds like she wants people to laugh at her “closest” friends at her wedding…very mean girl status if you ask me.

Post # 15
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This sounds like something crazy right out of the show Bridezillas! Ummmm no, just hold your ground. That’s just ridiculous.

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