Post # 1
Is it wrong to ask that my bridesmaids wear some sort of heel? Their dresses are long and I’ve got one girl that insists on wearing this old pair of ballet flats that she already owns because she doesn’t want to be taller than her husband. I suggested she just rock a kitten heel which can be as small as a 1/2 inch, but she keeps saying no and now her husband is weighing in on it. I just think it’ll look silly to have long, formal dresses with flats! We bought the dresses for them, and they are well-off financially so it’s not really an issue of having to buy new shoes, I don’t think. I also don’t care what shoe it is as long as it’s formal, has somewhat of a heel and is a nude color.
Post # 3
@Ladybird_: If you want her to wear a kitten heel, she should do it. It is your wedding and not hers. I made compromise with my girls that they had to wear heels during the ceremony and pictures but could change into sneakers or no shoes after. Heck if I care.
Post # 4
@Ladybird_: Could you suggest that she wear a heel for the ceremony and photos and then she can change into her flats for the reception when she would, presumably, be near her husband?
Post # 5
@Ladybird_: if the dresses are long no one will see the shoes. Also, no one will care if they can see them.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
@Ladybird_: Meh I think as long as their dresses are hemmed correctly for whatever shoes they wear, flats included, it should look fine. You don’t even see the shoes that much with a long dress. I think it’s a little much to demand a heel. My Maid/Matron of Honor can’t wear heels because she literally can’t walk in them (even a kitten heel) and I’m fine with that. I don’t think it’s too much to ask her to choose a more formal pair of flats than her old ballet flats though.
Post # 7
I am also having long dresses and personally, I don’t care if they wear heels or flats because you can’t really see the shoes.
I don’t think you are being a bridezilla. But if you can, maybe offer a compromise – she wears heels for the photos and the ceremony, and then can switch to flats other times? Just a thought!
Post # 8
100% you won’t see the shoes if they have long dresses, let alone the heel in the back
I would let it go
Post # 9
@Ladybird_: You can tell her you would prefer a heel but ultimately, the choice is hers.
Post # 10
If they’re long dresses, who is going to see their shoes? No one cares what shoes the BM’s wear anyway. No one will notice what shoes the Bridesmaid or Best Man are wearing.
I looked through my pictures, you can’t see their shoes.
Otherwise you can request if for the ceremony and pictures but they should be allowed to wear whatever shoes they want for the reception. I think that would be a reasonable compromise.
Post # 11
Can you see the shoes with the dresses? If not then it shouldnt matter. If you can then she should honor your request and wear heels. You can tell her she can change later? sidebar: is her husband escorting her up the aisle?? I dont see why he should care if he isnt.
Post # 12
I don’t think it is reasonable to DEMAND things, but I don’t think it is reasonable for her to not just do what you ask for 12 hours. You aren’t a bridezilla IMO.
Post # 13
I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla to want that. It’s no different to me than having them wear a specific dress. But I agree with other posters who suggest a compromise. My bff is very tiny and she wanted us all to wear flats. Only a couple bridesmaids had issue with that, but they just ended up wearing heels during the reception after all the pictures were taken and it was fine.
Post # 14
I typically wear flats with long dresses. The dresses are long, no one will see them. Let her wear what she wants.
Post # 15
I think you’re being unreasonable. No one will even be able to see their shoes in long dresses. Flats can be dressy. My Maid/Matron of Honor is wearing flats because I told her that I didn’t give an eff what type of shoe she wore. Why does it even matter that she wears heels? If you want her to wear a specific shoe, then you should buy them for her.
Post # 16
I hate kitten heels – I have a hard time balancing in them.
I’d be upset if you insisted on my wearing them over flats – what’s the difference with a long dress, really??