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Am I being a b!tch? Don't want to show or talk to people about my dress.

posted 2 years ago in Dress
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: What do I do when people ask about my dress?
    Tell them that's it a surprise, that it's being made but nothing else. : (120 votes)
    93 %
    Show them pictures and everything even though I don't want to. : (4 votes)
    3 %
    Ignore the questions, smile and change the subject. : (5 votes)
    4 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    1,398 posts
    Bumble bee
    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    So tell me the truth.  I'm having my dress made and I've only shown one BM, a friend and my mom and dad pictures of what the dress is going to look like.  I don't really want to talk to the rest of my BM's about it or other random people.  The random people totally understand.

     

    I just want it to be a surprise but people are hounding me about it!  Do I just give in?

     
    2.
    3,234 posts
    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    DON'T GIVE IN! I think that the wow factor and surprise aspect of the bride's dress is one of the most exciting parts about weddings. I love seeing the bride's dress and look forward to surprising my FI and most guests (exception mothers and BMs) at my own wedding. If people are hounding you, just simply say you want it to be a surprise and they can torture you but you're not telling!

     
    3.
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    119 posts
    Blushing bee
    TheMapChick    July 2009   Washington DC

    I don't blame you! If you want it to be a surprise that is totally your choice! I can kind of relate but more because we are having a tiny, tiny wedding with only 20 guests. I didn't want to reveal too much about my dress when my friends who are coming asked because I want it to be a surprise. I think if we were having more people I would be more inclined to share with my closest friends but if I do that then everyone will know what it is going to look like!

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    1. Am I being a b!tch?  Don't want to show or talk to people about my dress. :  wedding dress Img we_014.JPG (145.2 KB, 20 downloads) 1 year old
     
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    Busy bee
    DaisyBride    June 1, 2009  

    Is there a way that you can give them a vague answer (strapless, a-line) that will satisfy them and make them stop asking?

    I didn't really have a lot of people ask about my dress. 

    Are you talking about it a lot?  like giving updates on how soon it will be done or talking about the great seamstress you found?  If you are talking about the details of ordering it but then refusing to talk about the design, I'd just stop talking about anything dress-related.

     
    5.
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    1,512 posts
    Bumble bee
    mandalynn17    June 19, 2010   Medford, OR

    Hmm, I get where you are coming from. I am having my dress made for me so I've gotten more questions I think, than if I was just buying a dress. However, I don't really get not sharing it with your bridesmaids.  They are supposed to be your nearest and dearest and they are there for you throughout the entire wedding process.  Maybe by not sharing your dress plans with them they are feeling left out. With other people, maybe you can take the approach that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold">@DaisyBride suggested and give a vague answer without really describing it.  

     
    6.
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    1,398 posts
    Bumble bee
    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    I haven't been talking about it at all.  We have several friends getting married in the next couple of months and I've heard how annoying it is to others when they talk non-stop about their wedding planning. 

     

    As for the BM's, I've talked to them about everything BUT the dress.  I just want something that I know about and that's special to me since the average thought is that you should share EVERYTHING with your BM's.  It slightly annoying that I'm supposed to be expected to update them almost every time I breathe. There's very little that the bride gets to keep close in wedding planning.

     
    7.
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    407 posts
    Helper bee
    linzella    June 20, 2009   Austin, Texas

    If you don't want to talk about it, then I would just smile and say, "I want it to be a surprise for everyone!" whenever people ask you about the dress.

    I emailed pictures of my dress to my bridesmaids, and I found out later that a couple of them forwarded the email to other friends.  I had asked them to keep the email to themselves, but some of them didn't quite "get it."  Anyway, I wasn't really bothered b/c I didn't have super-strong feelings about my dress being a surprise, but if you do, I'd say better safe than sorry!  Your friends may not understand how BIG a secret the dress details are to you and accidentally let something slip.  Haha, although, all this talk about your dress being a secret even has ME curious about what it looks like!  Am I being a b!tch?  Don't want to show or talk to people about my dress. :  wedding dress Icon Razz

     
    8.
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    61 posts
    Worker bee
    lhm11271983    October 11, 2008   Tennessee

    If I were you, I would just tell them that you want it to be a surprise.  You don't need to tell them anything else.  I can understand the curiosity and excitement they feel.  It's probably because they are happy for you.  But you definitely don't have to share any info with them if you don't want to.  It's your dress, it's your wedding! =)

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    1. Am I being a b!tch?  Don't want to show or talk to people about my dress. :  wedding dress Img _MG_2494.jpg (38.3 KB, 21 downloads) 1 year old
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    Busy bee
    catlady    June 26, 2010   Toronto

    No word of a lie, I was asked this question about 5 times today alone.  It has been my intention to keep my dress a surprise because as previous posters have said, there's something about not only surprising the FH but also the guests. 

    I've pretty much given people vague answers and when they continue asking for details, I'll say an almost sarcastic description of the dress.  In the end, I've told everyone I just want it to be a big surprise and they've accepted.

     
    10.
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    2,525 posts
    Sugar bee
    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    I totally get where you are coming from - I only want my mom and my bridesmaids to see my dress, though I am sure his mom and his sisters will want in on it. I'll probably let them, but definitely not others! I think your friends and family should understand why you want it to be a secret. Maybe pick one detail to share to make people feel included - making poeple feel included is important. So you could say, "It's strapless," or "It has a long train," or "It has lace details," but stop it at that, and if they push, repeat with a smile: "I want it to be a surprise for all my guests!"

    Attachments

    1. Am I being a b!tch?  Don't want to show or talk to people about my dress. :  wedding dress Img IMG_3215.JPG (1175.5 KB, 72 downloads) 1 year old
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    3. Am I being a b!tch?  Don't want to show or talk to people about my dress. :  wedding dress Img IMG_3218.JPG (1608.4 KB, 63 downloads) 1 year old
    4. Am I being a b!tch?  Don't want to show or talk to people about my dress. :  wedding dress Img cylinder_vases.jpg (88.3 KB, 74 downloads) 1 year old
     
    11.
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    684 posts
    Busy bee
    Soon2BeMrsC    March 20, 2010   Wine Country

    There's no reason to show off, discuss your dress if you don't want to.  I won't even show my own bridesmaids until the day of the wedding. 

     
    12.
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    2,985 posts
    Sugar bee
    Jenniphyr    February 2, 2013   Alberta, Canada

    I would tell them that it's a surprise. Be honest and be really excited about it -- smile bridal-y with sparkly eyes when you describe how you want people to feel when you enter in your beautiful dress...and sigh longingly. =D 

     
    13.
    Bee
    3,386 posts
    Sugar bee
    poodle    April 1, 2010   California / Planning Process in Chile

    I think you should just tell them its a surprise. I agree with Jenniphyr

     
    14.
    Hostess
    5,480 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Jessie516    May 16, 2009   Ann Arbor, MI

    If you don't want to talk about it, I'd just say you want it to be a surprise on the wedding day.  I know that a lot of people asked me, mostly because it's one of the more exciting wedding details.  I told pretty much everyone except my husband!

     
    15.
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    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    ali925    May 23, 2009   Chicago

    "it's a surprise silly!"

     
    16.
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    382 posts
    Helper bee
    AliOopsieDaisy    July 2010  

    No way would I tell them! The only people that will know what my dress looks like will me by mother, my MOH, possible my FMOH, and my maid of honor.

    Part of the fun is the surprise! I'd consider it rude if they kept asking after your initial "no."

     
    17.
    Hostess
    5,255 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Sulli301    June 26, 2010   Michigan

    I would say something like "...well it IS going to be a suprise but I'll give you a hint...it is ______"(strapless, long, short, classic, unique, or if you are feeling sassy, white!)

    ;) 

     
    18.
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    58 posts
    Worker bee
    ivorygirl    10/24/2009   Houston, TX

    "My dress is shocking pink, with accents of black and orange. It has a cut-out for my belly and is slit up to the hip on one leg. There are green vines that extend down from the neck to my knees, wrapped around my body. Oh, and I think I may be carrying a boa constrictor..."

    ...you get the idea. :) 

     
    19.
    Member
    1,296 posts
    Bumble bee
    fizicsGirl    8/1/2009   Michigan

    I love the idea of saying it's something outrageous!

    Honestly, my Mom cares way more than I do about keeping things kind of secret.  But I totally understand why you would want to do so...and I think it's Lame with a captial "L" that people are hounding you about it.  I vote for sending them pictures of some kind of white lace lingerie...and then saying something like, "Do you think it might be a little revealing?"

     
    20.
    Member
    1,398 posts
    Bumble bee
    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    Thanks for all the comments girls!  One of the people hounding me is just really odd about the whole thing.  I explained it was a surprise and all I got back was "I see".  Ugh.  

     
    21.
    Member
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    carri38707    May 14, 2010   Chicago; Wedding @ Punta Cana

    Just play it off.  You can joke that it's white (or whatever hue it may be...unless it's totally different color than of course, don't mention it); just state the obvious, maybe very generic description; then say you'll see it when you come on the day!  Smile big, and change the subject.  Leave it at that. 

    Just smile big back at them when you hear "I see" or any other comments.  

     
    22.
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    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    NewNoble    May 30, 2010   Dallas

    "If I told you, it wouldnt be a suprise"

     
    23.
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    552 posts
    Busy bee
    Leafy    May 1, 2011  

    It depends on how you are telling them that you don't want to show them. Are you being polite? If so then you have nothing to worry about.

     
    24.
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    2,434 posts
    Buzzing bee
    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    I'm doing the exact same thing. I won't tell anyone what it looks like or even what style I've chosen. Only my mother, father, and my sister (who's the MOH) know!

     
    25.
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    47 posts
    Newbee
    justthemaidofhonor    n/a   Coral Springs, Florida

    now i wanna knwo about the dress.........sorry lol it's intriguing now and i can imagine thats probably how the BM's might feel. you've gotten some good advice, just give them a small detail and tell them that hey its a surprise, turn it into a compliment by letting them know you want something special for them and the groom too, and that suprising them with the reveal of the dress on the day of is something you've been anxious about doing and you want to bring smiles and surpise to them that way by keeping the dress a secret. if they think you are keeping it secret to surprise THEM too and not keeping it secret because you dont care for their advice or suggestions it might go over a little better

     
    26.
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    47 posts
    Newbee
    justthemaidofhonor    n/a   Coral Springs, Florida

    Also try not to mention dress, its kinda hard, but just do your part not to talk about it much. I knew a bride that would gush about her dress but when we asked ok lets see it, what are some of the probs, what dont you like she would clam up, like hello dont talk about it and dont think we wouldnt want to see it. Good luck

     
    27.
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    1,187 posts
    Bumble bee
    Champagne Wishes    May 22, 2010   Upstate New York

    I wish I hadn't shown people because now I am going to find another dress... even though I already paid for one and it's not even in yet!

    Tell them it is a surprise, that you don't have any pictures on you... whatever it takes!

     
    28.
    Member
    1,398 posts
    Bumble bee
    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    Yeah, I don't talk about it at all.  A couple of them have asked if I got it, and I said yes.  I think they got the hints :)

     

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