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DON'T GIVE IN! I think that the wow factor and surprise aspect of the bride's dress is one of the most exciting parts about weddings. I love seeing the bride's dress and look forward to surprising my FI and most guests (exception mothers and BMs) at my own wedding. If people are hounding you, just simply say you want it to be a surprise and they can torture you but you're not telling!
I don't blame you! If you want it to be a surprise that is totally your choice! I can kind of relate but more because we are having a tiny, tiny wedding with only 20 guests. I didn't want to reveal too much about my dress when my friends who are coming asked because I want it to be a surprise. I think if we were having more people I would be more inclined to share with my closest friends but if I do that then everyone will know what it is going to look like!
Is there a way that you can give them a vague answer (strapless, a-line) that will satisfy them and make them stop asking?
I didn't really have a lot of people ask about my dress.
Are you talking about it a lot? like giving updates on how soon it will be done or talking about the great seamstress you found? If you are talking about the details of ordering it but then refusing to talk about the design, I'd just stop talking about anything dress-related.
Hmm, I get where you are coming from. I am having my dress made for me so I've gotten more questions I think, than if I was just buying a dress. However, I don't really get not sharing it with your bridesmaids. They are supposed to be your nearest and dearest and they are there for you throughout the entire wedding process. Maybe by not sharing your dress plans with them they are feeling left out. With other people, maybe you can take the approach that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold">@DaisyBride suggested and give a vague answer without really describing it.
I haven't been talking about it at all. We have several friends getting married in the next couple of months and I've heard how annoying it is to others when they talk non-stop about their wedding planning.
As for the BM's, I've talked to them about everything BUT the dress. I just want something that I know about and that's special to me since the average thought is that you should share EVERYTHING with your BM's. It slightly annoying that I'm supposed to be expected to update them almost every time I breathe. There's very little that the bride gets to keep close in wedding planning.
If you don't want to talk about it, then I would just smile and say, "I want it to be a surprise for everyone!" whenever people ask you about the dress.
I emailed pictures of my dress to my bridesmaids, and I found out later that a couple of them forwarded the email to other friends. I had asked them to keep the email to themselves, but some of them didn't quite "get it." Anyway, I wasn't really bothered b/c I didn't have super-strong feelings about my dress being a surprise, but if you do, I'd say better safe than sorry! Your friends may not understand how BIG a secret the dress details are to you and accidentally let something slip. Haha, although, all this talk about your dress being a secret even has ME curious about what it looks like! ![]()
If I were you, I would just tell them that you want it to be a surprise. You don't need to tell them anything else. I can understand the curiosity and excitement they feel. It's probably because they are happy for you. But you definitely don't have to share any info with them if you don't want to. It's your dress, it's your wedding! =)
No word of a lie, I was asked this question about 5 times today alone. It has been my intention to keep my dress a surprise because as previous posters have said, there's something about not only surprising the FH but also the guests.
I've pretty much given people vague answers and when they continue asking for details, I'll say an almost sarcastic description of the dress. In the end, I've told everyone I just want it to be a big surprise and they've accepted.
I totally get where you are coming from - I only want my mom and my bridesmaids to see my dress, though I am sure his mom and his sisters will want in on it. I'll probably let them, but definitely not others! I think your friends and family should understand why you want it to be a secret. Maybe pick one detail to share to make people feel included - making poeple feel included is important. So you could say, "It's strapless," or "It has a long train," or "It has lace details," but stop it at that, and if they push, repeat with a smile: "I want it to be a surprise for all my guests!"
There's no reason to show off, discuss your dress if you don't want to. I won't even show my own bridesmaids until the day of the wedding.
I would tell them that it's a surprise. Be honest and be really excited about it -- smile bridal-y with sparkly eyes when you describe how you want people to feel when you enter in your beautiful dress...and sigh longingly. =D
I think you should just tell them its a surprise. I agree with Jenniphyr
If you don't want to talk about it, I'd just say you want it to be a surprise on the wedding day. I know that a lot of people asked me, mostly because it's one of the more exciting wedding details. I told pretty much everyone except my husband!
No way would I tell them! The only people that will know what my dress looks like will me by mother, my MOH, possible my FMOH, and my maid of honor.
Part of the fun is the surprise! I'd consider it rude if they kept asking after your initial "no."
I would say something like "...well it IS going to be a suprise but I'll give you a hint...it is ______"(strapless, long, short, classic, unique, or if you are feeling sassy, white!)
;)
"My dress is shocking pink, with accents of black and orange. It has a cut-out for my belly and is slit up to the hip on one leg. There are green vines that extend down from the neck to my knees, wrapped around my body. Oh, and I think I may be carrying a boa constrictor..."
...you get the idea. :)
I love the idea of saying it's something outrageous!
Honestly, my Mom cares way more than I do about keeping things kind of secret. But I totally understand why you would want to do so...and I think it's Lame with a captial "L" that people are hounding you about it. I vote for sending them pictures of some kind of white lace lingerie...and then saying something like, "Do you think it might be a little revealing?"
Thanks for all the comments girls! One of the people hounding me is just really odd about the whole thing. I explained it was a surprise and all I got back was "I see". Ugh.
Just play it off. You can joke that it's white (or whatever hue it may be...unless it's totally different color than of course, don't mention it); just state the obvious, maybe very generic description; then say you'll see it when you come on the day! Smile big, and change the subject. Leave it at that.
Just smile big back at them when you hear "I see" or any other comments.
It depends on how you are telling them that you don't want to show them. Are you being polite? If so then you have nothing to worry about.
I'm doing the exact same thing. I won't tell anyone what it looks like or even what style I've chosen. Only my mother, father, and my sister (who's the MOH) know!
now i wanna knwo about the dress.........sorry lol it's intriguing now and i can imagine thats probably how the BM's might feel. you've gotten some good advice, just give them a small detail and tell them that hey its a surprise, turn it into a compliment by letting them know you want something special for them and the groom too, and that suprising them with the reveal of the dress on the day of is something you've been anxious about doing and you want to bring smiles and surpise to them that way by keeping the dress a secret. if they think you are keeping it secret to surprise THEM too and not keeping it secret because you dont care for their advice or suggestions it might go over a little better
Also try not to mention dress, its kinda hard, but just do your part not to talk about it much. I knew a bride that would gush about her dress but when we asked ok lets see it, what are some of the probs, what dont you like she would clam up, like hello dont talk about it and dont think we wouldnt want to see it. Good luck
I wish I hadn't shown people because now I am going to find another dress... even though I already paid for one and it's not even in yet!
Tell them it is a surprise, that you don't have any pictures on you... whatever it takes!
Yeah, I don't talk about it at all. A couple of them have asked if I got it, and I said yes. I think they got the hints :)
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So tell me the truth. I'm having my dress made and I've only shown one BM, a friend and my mom and dad pictures of what the dress is going to look like. I don't really want to talk to the rest of my BM's about it or other random people. The random people totally understand.
I just want it to be a surprise but people are hounding me about it! Do I just give in?