Post # 1
Two weeks til our wedding and I get home to find Fiance has invited 6 more people to the wedding AND completely changed the seating chart that was done a week ago.
I really like the 6 ppl he is inviting but:
He did it over FB and via text, we dont have paper invites to give them, HE MESSED WITH MY , ehem our seating chart, I didnt invite 20 members of my FAMILY. my FAMILY because it was too stressful, then I kept getting calls from my mom, dad, and uncle telling me I HAD to invite 6 more cousins. I didn’t why? Because it was too stressful, then he goes and invites 6 more friends of his. I’ve met and spent time with all of them and they are wonderful people but so is my FAMILY. he really pushed for me to re make invites and invite my family and I said NO, way too much stress. So IMO he knew it would stress me.
What I am MOST pissed about (other than him messing with my seating chart) is that he says I have NO RIGHT to be hurt, upset, stressed or mad cause he didn’t add any tables he just moved everyone around. In fact… he is mad at ME. Yes. He thinks I need to take responsibility for my own feelings and if I’m stressed it has nothing to do with him. You know, cause he did nothing wrong. By inviting more people. 2 weeks before the wedding. Via text and FB.
Tell me I’m wrong and just PMSing. I understand I am responsible for my own actions and reactions but GRRRR 2 weeks to go and I am losing it.
Post # 3
oh wow Id be mad about that too, like a lot!
Post # 4
if it were me, I would be really angry and tell him that he will pay for each extra head that he invited, out of his own pocket.
That being said, I think you should calm down and not get emotional and sit his ass down and explain exactly what he has done and why you’re so upset about it.
Post # 5
*blink blink* He would be staying on the couch if mine pulled that and tried to make ME the bad guy.
You’re not being petty, but I think at this point you have to let it go for the sake of your own sanity AND put the glass slipper down that if he touches anything again without your consent there will be some bad news going down for the next two weeks.
Edit: And he owes you a serious full body massage, whether he does it or pays for it.
Post # 6
Sounds like you guys aren’t communicating about who you want at this wedding. TBH it sounds like your Fiance is brushing your feelings aside and not taking your wants into account. Sit down and talk to each other…calmly and maturely…
Post # 7
Without knowing the full backstory (i.e. who is paying, who did the initial round of guest-list-making, who didn’t make the cut, etc) I’d just like to say that it really is his day too, and if there’s space and budget for the extra people, and he’s willing to take on the task of rearranging the seating, then maybe this one just isn’t worth getting upset over. Look at it this way: so many brides complain here about how they’re doing more work than the Fi does. To a large extent, that’s just a male mind vs female mind thing, and there’s not too many guys who are going to be all gung-ho about choosing seat covers and making favors. Then here’s your guy who’s willing to pitch in on the dreaded seating chart. Even if it’s just because he added some people, is that really such a bad problem to have? And if the guests don’t mind not getting a paper invite, you shouldn’t either.
Post # 8
Ok, with 2 weeks to go yeah, I wouldn’t be too pleased about extra curveballs being thrown your way either. But I think the best thing to do now is explain your view rationally and make sure that this is absolutely IT as far as people he wants present. Things just don’t coordinate themselves, or pay for themselves, so make it less about the 6 people he invited and more about “I’m doing my best here but there are logistics to consider and I would really appreciate you working with me and not against me.”
Post # 10
@fishbone: Agreed, it’s his day too. breathe.
Post # 11
Ugh, I’d be super pissed off too. So if you’re petty so am I. Seating charts, from what I hear, take a lot of work and it’s a pain in the butt to keep redoing it.
Post # 12
@badzipper: It is SO unlike him, which is maybe why I am freaking out. I did tell him to invite one couple but that was because we had them on our original list. She said they couldn’t come so we didn’t send an invite ( cause we ran out) and then this weekend they said they might be able to come after all so of course I asked him to follow up with her. They would have sat at any table, but he invited her parents and another couple and I am cringing that it was done via FB!!
Post # 13
@fishbone: Not much backstory other than I didn’t invite my family cause I was gonna have a stress attack with the change in logistics. But you are RIGHT. SIGH he has done A LOT ( it’s killing me that the stuff he was in charge of hasn’t been completed but I havn’t said anything cause I was happy he was doing it, I just told him to have it finalized by a week before the wedding)
but… but… but…, my red stapler (Office Space reference)
I am wigging out
WAIT! Yesterday he paid the DJ ( a friend of his ) CASH and didn’t have him sign the 6 page contract I typed out ( yeah I typed it because the guy didn’t have one)…ok maybe now I’m being petty! I used up all my emotional “don’t kill your FI” energy on that little ditty the day before!
Post # 14
@Angelz_love: I think it’s definitely time for a cocktail and bubble bath.
Post # 15
@WillyNilly: You’re so possitive! I need your good vibes in my head right now!
Post # 16
I got a little huffy when my Fiance told his dad he could bring 3 people, instead of the ONE person we’d given him on the invitation, FOUR MONTHS from the wedding. I got over it pretty quickly (even though it’ll cost another $160 to pay for those 2 people for dinner), but I was still upset. But SIX FRIENDS, 2 weeks before the wedding? I’d be p!ssed. You are definitely allowed to be upset about this. Your emotions are perfectly valid. Not only does this throw off your seating chart, it throws off your favors, placecards, escort cards and all that. It’s a big deal to be messing with that with 2 weeks to go.
By the way….in case anyone tells me I’m a b!tch about the dad situation with my Fiance: His dad was abusive his whole life until he left for good and disappeared around age 12. He’s recently back on the scene (15 years later), lucky to have been allowed back into my FI’s life at all, never mind invited to the wedding. He’s also not paying towards the wedding, so giving him a PLUS1 despite the fact that he’s not in a relationship was (I think) generous on our part. Now he gets PLUS3.