(Closed) Am I being a petty bride to be?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll:
    I'd be pissed too : (65 votes)
    82 %
    Totally being petty : (14 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    158 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    oh wow Id be mad about that too, like a lot!

    Post # 4
    3357 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    if it were me, I would be really angry and tell him that he will pay for each extra head that he invited, out of his own pocket.

    That being said, I think you should calm down and not get emotional and sit his ass down and explain exactly what he has done and why you’re so upset about it.

    Post # 5
    3583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    *blink blink*  He would be staying on the couch if mine pulled that and tried to make ME the bad guy. 

    You’re not being petty, but I think at this point you have to let it go for the sake of your own sanity AND put the glass slipper down that if he touches anything again without your consent there will be some bad news going down for the next two weeks. 

    Edit:  And he owes you a serious full body massage, whether he does it or pays for it.

    Post # 6
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Sounds like you guys aren’t communicating about who you want at this wedding. TBH it sounds like your Fiance is brushing your feelings aside and not taking your wants into account.  Sit down and talk to each other…calmly and maturely…


    Post # 7
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Without knowing the full backstory (i.e. who is paying, who did the initial round of guest-list-making, who didn’t make the cut, etc) I’d just like to say that it really is his day too, and if there’s space and budget for the extra people, and he’s willing to take on the task of rearranging the seating, then maybe this one just isn’t worth getting upset over. Look at it this way: so many brides complain here about how they’re doing more work than the Fi does. To a large extent, that’s just a male mind vs female mind thing, and there’s not too many guys who are going to be all gung-ho about choosing seat covers and making favors.  Then here’s your guy who’s willing to pitch in on the dreaded seating chart. Even if it’s just because he added some people, is that really such a bad problem to have?  And if the guests don’t mind not getting a paper invite, you shouldn’t either.

    Post # 8
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Ok, with 2 weeks to go yeah, I wouldn’t be too pleased about extra curveballs being thrown your way either. But I think the best thing to do now is explain your view rationally and make sure that this is absolutely IT as far as people he wants present. Things just don’t coordinate themselves, or pay for themselves, so make it less about the 6 people he invited and more about “I’m doing my best here but there are logistics to consider and I would really appreciate you working with me and not against me.”

    Post # 10
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @fishbone:  Agreed, it’s his day too. breathe.

    Post # 11
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Ugh, I’d be super pissed off too.  So if you’re petty so am I.  Seating charts, from what I hear, take a lot of work and it’s a pain in the butt to keep redoing it. 

    Post # 14
    3583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Angelz_love:  I think it’s definitely time for a cocktail and bubble bath.

    Post # 16
    2856 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I got a little huffy when my Fiance told his dad he could bring 3 people, instead of the ONE person we’d given him on the invitation, FOUR MONTHS from the wedding. I got over it pretty quickly (even though it’ll cost another $160 to pay for those 2 people for dinner), but I was still upset. But SIX FRIENDS, 2 weeks before the wedding? I’d be p!ssed. You are definitely allowed to be upset about this. Your emotions are perfectly valid. Not only does this throw off your seating chart, it throws off your favors, placecards, escort cards and all that. It’s a big deal to be messing with that with 2 weeks to go.

    By the way….in case anyone tells me I’m a b!tch about the dad situation with my Fiance: His dad was abusive his whole life until he left for good and disappeared around age 12. He’s recently back on the scene (15 years later), lucky to have been allowed back into my FI’s life at all, never mind invited to the wedding. He’s also not paying towards the wedding, so giving him a PLUS1 despite the fact that he’s not in a relationship was (I think) generous on our part. Now he gets PLUS3.

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