(Closed) Am I being childish?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Briefly. I realize that relationships change over time and do my best to move on.

Post # 4
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

They’re your feelings.  I think that means that you rely on your best friend.  I don’t think that you can affect the way your friends interact.  What you can do is spend more time with your friend and/or spend time with other people.

Post # 5
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve had his happen to me before.  But it’s kind of like wet soap the more you try to hold onto it, the harder it is to hold onto.  I guess like the other pps said, you can try to spend more time with your friend.  But other than that, you have to kind of be zen about it.  If you let it eat at you, it might have a negative impact on your friendship.

Also, it sounds like since they are both single, this might be good for them, right?  Because you spend a lot of time with your FI.  And who knows how things might change when they get married.

Good luck.   I feel for you.

Post # 6
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I think this happens to the best of us. I’ve felt this way with my best friend, and she’s openly admitted to feeling jealous at times when I’m spending a lot of time with other friends. Being “best friends” often feels like an exclusive little club, and it’s natural for you to not want anything to jeopardize that. Just remember though that you have other friendships too, and those don’t detract from your best friendship with her, so it’s likely it’s the same for her.

Post # 8
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My relationships have changed over the years. One of my bridesmaids and me have known eachother since we were wee little ones. We don’t get to see each that much for probably the past decade since we graduated H.S. since we live in different states. When we get together though it is just like old times. I may only see her a couple of times a year but I enjoy those times.

Post # 9
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This happened to me in college.  I introduced my best friend to an acquantaince of mine when the acquintance transferred to our college.  We all became really close, but my best friend and the acquintance became a lot closer, and definitely favored each other (if that makes sense).

I think it is a normal reaction you’re having.  Just try to accept that friendships change and evolve.  It could be easier because they are both single.  I have seen people’s lives change a lot when they are ready to get engaged/married.

Post # 10
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Gosh! That’s funny because I am going thru the same thing. My best freind got a new job and met a new freind. My freind used to never go out. NOw she is single and met this girl and they go out every week and she has all these new freinds.  They now go out all the time and are new bff. I am totally left out. It upsets me a little at times but not a ton

The short awnser is “Yes, you are and that’s normal”

I used to feel like this every time a freind would make a new and better freind. As I got older this didn’t happen as much. I have learned that people come and go and sometimes we go thru phases. I do not feel as teritorial about my freinds as I used to. It still DOES happen sometimes…but I try to realize that is immature and not healthy and I try to stop myself.

How old are you?  I am 30.

I still struggle with this. It is normal to feel like this but it is not “ok”. We don’t wanna act like we did in middle school where we didn’t want to share our friends.

Its ok that you feel like that on the inside but I wouldn’t express it. Other than saying you would like to spend more time with her and you miss her. I would not say that you feel jelous. It’s normal….but I don’t think it is good that he think like this. This is something that I have tried to stop doing as I have gotten older. There is enough love to go around for everyone

I think this is kinda like my situation. I think they are freinds because they are both single and want to go out. This is just a phase. You have been freinds for years. You will go thru times where you see her more and feel closer…and times like this…but if she is a real freind, she will be back.

We all shift and change as we go thru life and grow. Sometimes this means that we become closer to differnt people and distant from others. Try to just let her do her thing and don’t take it so personally. Also look into maybe YOU also making a new freind too. 🙂

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