Post # 1
Hello Hive! So here it goes. My fiance is from VT and we now live in NJ, which is where the wedding will be. We got a STD from a friend of his a few weeks ago, and the wedding happens to be the weekend before ours, in VT. I said to my finace that I would not be able to go because it will be the weekend before ours. He then went on to tell me that he is going to their wedding because a week before our wedding everything will be done.
So here I am today, annoyed! Does he really think that one week before our wedding there is going to be nothing to do?! I feel like he is making a very selfish decision choosing to go and leave me with the responsibility. One last thing is in the four years we have been dating I have never sen or heard of this guy at all. So I feel like it isn’t even a good friend of is he just wants to go because its a party.
I look forward to hearing the wonderful advice you fellow hive members have to say.
Post # 3
Honestly, a week before our wedding I was done. I’m a planner, I do everything ahead of time and early, and unless it was something that had to be done the day before (putting flowers together), it was done. I do realize that most people aren’t like that though. If he really wants to go, I would tell him that he has to help get everything done by a week before your wedding.
Post # 4
Thank you for the advice. This board always helps so much!
Post # 5
The weekend before my wedding I didn’t do anything wedding related other than have my bridal shower.
2 of our guests got married the weekend after us and attended our wedding (2 hour drive where they had a hotel). I honestly think if you wanted to attend this wedding you could no problem. However, it seems like you don’t want to attend the wedding due to not knowing the couple (which is a different story).
Could your FI go and you stay home?
Post # 6
I think it depends. If it was a good friend or first cousin/relative then yes I would definitely go. We had a cousin who did a quickie wedding (everyone heard about it 2months before our wedding!) and their date was TWO weeks before ours in NYC. I’m still convinced my aunt did that intentionally so that her son would technically be married before me. So we drove 8hrs to go to the wedding in NYC, drove back home. Then a week later drove 8 hrs again back to NYC for our wedding. Annoying but sometimes it has to be done.
I would talk to your Fiance and see how important it really is. Is this perhaps someone that use to be a good friend and they had a falling out and that’s why you never heard of him? It’s possible.
And I agree with @artbee: if that’s the case then he has to promise that everything will be done a week before in order for you guys to go.
And I guess I would ask you, if it was your friend/family would you feel differently? Would you have so quickly said no?
Post # 7
@Gerbera: That is a great question. I feel like if it was a close friend, yes I would want to go. But for him we never hang out with this couple and honestly I think he wants to go because other friends that he is close with will be there. however, those same people will be at our wedding the following weekend.
I also just think it would be nice for him to be around for the support of everything that will be going on. Since we are doing a lot of things ourselves and are definitely not very organized!
Post # 8
We went out of town the weekend before our wedding! To be honest, it was a GREAT time to relax and let some of the nerves settle, and a really nice chance to remember why I was marrying this guy (i.e. focusing on each other instead of all the details of the wedding).
If you plan accordingly, you should be able to accomplish everything you need to and still make the trip. 🙂
Post # 9
We also went out of town the weekend before our wedding. I wouldn’t worry about it, plus it might be fun! Definitely better than staying home and fretting over a bunch of details. By T minus 1 week, you’ve got to just let everything go.
Post # 10
Well, it looks like im not being fair about the situation. I think I will take everyones advice and just make sure everything is done and go out for a weekend and enjoy. Thank you again