Am I being inconsiderate?

posted 3 months ago in Guests
  • poll: Is it inconsiderate for me to ask people to show up on a weekday.
    No, its your day do what you want. : (132 votes)
    43 %
    Yes, it is rude/ doesn't matter cost. : (102 votes)
    33 %
    Yes, but i get why. : (68 votes)
    22 %
    I am not sure. : (8 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 166
    2561 posts
    Sugar bee

    Lynell Tiller :  Judging from your attitude I think you are just jealous. That’s the way your acting.

    Post # 167
    18 posts

    btob17 :  LOL “deep down.” No, weddings are subjective and people can have the wedding they want. That is what I truly believe. Again, you’re acting jealous. Good luck at your own wedding. I’m sure there will be people who disagree with whatever choices you make, but they don’t have to agree with you because it’s your wedding. 

    Post # 168
    3784 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Lynell Tiller :  “acting jealous” OF WHAT?

    no one is jealous of telling their friends and family to “suck it” as you so eloquently put. If you continue to call people that, you might want to clarify what exactly she/we are jealous of..

    Post # 169
    530 posts
    Busy bee

    Lynell Tiller :  Wow, that was a really mature response.

    You are comparing apples to oranges.  Having a DW in Hawaii is completely different than having a wedding in the continental US.  The flights alone to Hawaii are very expensive.  For that matter, everything in Hawaii is expensive.  Some people may not want to take their “family vacation” in Hawaii.

    No one here is “jealous”.  In fact, many of the DW threads are rather cringe worthy because you hear of brides complaining that no one wants to spend that kind of cash on “their” day.  You need to get over yourself.

    Not that it matters, but I plan on having a small, local wedding where no one from our families has to travel more than an hour.

    Post # 170
    18 posts

    redmango :  That’s nice that you are having the kind of wedding where no one has to travel. Like I said, I don’t have that option. We have zero family here. So why hate on me for it? I should be able to have m wedding where I want. A ticket from here to Florida is the same as here to Hawaii, so I disagree with your logic. I also rented 3 homes on the island, not that it’s your business. And they were less than renting homes on the beach where I leave. I absolutely do not understand all the bullying and hate I’m getting for having a Hawaii wedding. Everyone who is coming is very happy we chose that location and those who can’t go already have vacation plans elsewhere, but they think Hawaii was a smart choice because the weddings are so inexpensive there. We’re paying 2k for the day rather than 20k for 4 hours. Again, don’t get why you’re picking on me. If I had a wedding in my home town, fewer people would come because it’s not a vacation spot. So tell me again why I can’t have a wedding in Hawaii? 

    Post # 171
    18 posts

    scissorgirl :  If it’s not jealousy (that I can afford to have a destination wedding) then explain all the hate. You are hating on me and bullying be because I am having a wedding in Hawaii. That makes no sense. People have destination weddings all the time, why aren’t you hating on them? You don’t even know my situation, you just judge me. To me, it makes way more sense to take my family and friends to Hawaii for two weeks than spend that money on 4 hours just so I can be princess for a day. That to me is asinine. But people can do what they want. A wedding it not supposed to be a show, it’s about two people getting married. And I’ve been to and had to decline weekday weddings. People have weekday weddings all the time, why hate on the original poster for it. If you only have $500 for a wedding, then do what you can. People shouldn’t be saying others can’t be there to celebrate your day if you can’t treat them to a 20k show on a Saturday night. 

    Post # 172
    260 posts
    Helper bee

    I think people should have their wedding whenever and wherever they want. To answer the original question, just don’t be upset if some people can’t make it on a weekday. 

    To the woman who is having her wedding in Hawaii, I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m already married and even I’m jealous! A Hawaiian wedding sounds divine!!! 

    Post # 173
    18 posts

    scissorgirl :  And my “suck it” comment was for my family members who have chosen not to come to my wedding solely because of the person I supported in the presidential election. And yes they flat out told me this is the reason they aren’t coming. If people are going to decline to go to a wedding for petty reasons, then yes they can suck it. THAT was my point about sucking it.  

    Post # 174
    1775 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Virginia Kingsford :  Hey Bee, looks like this thread is turning to custard so I will answer your original question. 

    Yes and no. This is a verrry touchy subject here on the bee. 

    My fiancé and I started dating on the 1st of June, 2010. We got engaged on the 1st of June, 2015. I really desperately wanted to get married on the 1st of June too, but waiting for a Saturday meant a 4 year engagement. So our wedding is this year, on a Thursday. It will start at 4pm. 

    We’re only having a small wedding of 60 guests, and so far 50 of them have confirmed they will come – and I haven’t sent out the invitations! I started telling people miles in advance, and the feedback I’m getting is that people are excited to have a long weekend – they are wanting to take the Friday off too! 

    You know your guests, and your finances, so do what you want. What you CAN’T do is be upset if someone couldn’t come. For some people taking the day off work or school isn’t viable. 

    Post # 175
    1775 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Also TBH I would much rather attend a weekday wedding than a weekend wedding. My weekends are always SO busy it is MORE inconvenient for me to take a day off! 

    Post # 176
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - My parents' back yard

    You can have your wedding whenever you want, but some people will not be able to come. Also, no one wil really be able to relax/let loose as they would have work the next day.

    I am on the same page with some others here – why not have a smaller wedding with the people who mean the most to you? If I were to do my wedding over again I would actually make it smaller. 🙂

    Post # 177
    172 posts
    Blushing bee

    no it is NOT rude to have a weekday wedding. 

    it is NOT rude to have a weekday wedding, a Sunday wedding, a sunrise wedding, a destination wedding, a wedding with a time gap between ceremony and reception, a wedding with a distance gap between ceremony and reception, wedding with cake and punch, a dry wedding, an outdoors wedding, a wedding with no kids.

    a wedding invitation is an honor – like an academy award nomination. It is not an order to appear on the red carpet. 

    Now what IS rude is to issue invitations like they are orders. What IS rude is getting in a huff if people can’t make it. Yes – even if you went to a bunch of trouble and expense for it to be local, Saturday night, with no gap, full dinner, babysitters on-site, in the air conditioning, etc – you are rude if you get in a huff over people declining.

    so, make sure the details of your event are made known to guests before they rsvp, and make sure your “must be there” people can attend — but then go crazy having exactly the wedding you want and can afford.

    Leave a comment

    Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
    I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

    Find Amazing Vendors