(Closed) Am I being out of line?? Help!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Am i being rude?
    Yes you are she should get a whole weekend for her shower. You should have a girls only on the 21st : (5 votes)
    16 %
    No there is no problem with having two showers in one weekend. especially since they are different : (27 votes)
    84 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6598 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think it would be rude if you just DID it! But I think if you talk it out with her you guys can come to a compromise! 

    I personally don’t see a problem with it – even if I was one of the 6 people I would be happy to have a weekend of friends and fun! But you need to make sure SHE doesn’t have a problem with it because I am sure it is not worth causing a fight!

    Post # 4
    Member
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    it’s not a big deal – act nonchalant and surprised that she would even be miffed about it. she needs some perspective..

    Post # 5
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    You’re not being horrible at all.  Actually, I think your friend is being a little ridiculous.  It’s not your fault that the scheduling worked out this way… and I really don’t understand why it is a problem to have two showers in the same weekend.  I mean, I’m sitting here trying to think of reasons, and I just can’t come up with one.

    Post # 6
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I dont see anythign wrong in that. I would love having a weekend with 2 parties and lots of friends if I were guest.

    Just talk it over with BM A and make sure your on the same page, she might be just as ok with it as you are.

    Post # 7
    Member
    208 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    As long as your shower won’t run super-late, I don’t see the problem. If she’s fresh and awake and you are able to be there early to help with any set-up duties, it’s not a big deal.

    Post # 8
    Member
    13102 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Going to be honest – BM A is going a little bridezilla when it comes to her shower.  As has been said on the board many times, brides get ONE day that is theirs for their wedding (not a week, not a month, not a seaon, etc).  This is even more true for a shower!!  To think that she can stake claim to the whole weekend because she has a shower on Sunday afternoon is a little bit ridiculous!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Your weddings are so close to each other’s… this kind of scheduling issue was bound to happen. I think your friend must have known that when discussing wedding dates. I don’t think it’s a big deal- they are two different kinds of showers! She needs to take a big girl pill and be happy that both of you are at a great time in your lives.

    Post # 11
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Well, I think maybe I need more clarification on what your party is like.  Most showers tend to be in the afternoon, but you mentioned that yours will be at night and be more like a party.  Does that mean you expect it to turn into some bender after the gift-giving?  Or do you mean your shower just will be in the evening?

    Like @pinkrokker said, if it doesn’t go too late, I don’t see how it could be a problem.  If it’s something where you think people will be up partying until the wee-hours, then I can understand why she’s concerned, especially since she’s going to yours.

    Hopefully you can just talk to her and figure it out and it won’t be a big deal.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    13102 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It really sounds like you are non-confrontational and don’t want to cause drama, but I really don’t think you should (A) have to give up your couple’s shower due to BM A’s ridiculousness or (B) have to ask your sister to give up her float trip.  That just makes zero sense to me!

    I really think you ought to forget about what BM A and your other shared BM think and have you shower when it makes the most sense for your sister (the host) and you and your FI (the guests of honor) – which is July 31st.  Let them have a stick up their butt about the whole thing because their immaturity shouldn’t lead to you (or your sister) giving up things that are important to you.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I have to say that if I were BM A, I would be a tad miffed too. I know you’re not doing this on purpose, but it sort of seems that way when you put all the dates together. I would have a sit down talk with her and just explain to her that you don’t mean to monopolize all the dates and times, but you guys are getting married at the same time, and it looks like that date works best.

    It’s all about how you approach things. I think if you sit her down and talk with her about it, she would feel better about everything rather than hearing it through your other bridesmaids.

    Post # 14
    Member
    166 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I really don’t think it’s this other bride that you have to be considerate of, but the handful of guests that will be attending both events.  As long as they’re okay with going to two showers in one weekend, then I think you’re good to go.

    Post # 15
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I definitely think that your BM is being a little silly. It sounds like the two of you are pretty close, so I understand that you don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. I would just talk to her about it again and explain that just as August 1 is the date that will best allow her to have the shower she wants (and you can’t wait and are so excited for her, etc.), July 31 is the date that will best allow you to have the shower/party that YOU want, and won’t it be fun for both of you to get to celebrate together all weekend? I think she’ll come around. Also others have made lots of good points about considering the other guests — especially if some are out-of-towners, they might appreciate being able to come in for one weekend and get to both celebrations.

    Good luck! 🙂

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