Post # 1
Ok sorry to all you bees to be a broken record but this post is going back to this post, some what.
What is the right thing to do?
FI and I are in the process of moving into an amazing house that we both love! We both wanted to wait until after we get married to buy a house together but we signed a 2 year lease on this house and they’ll be an option to buy when it’s up so this could be our house. Any way FI and I are still friends with his ex friend (I guess that’s how I put it?) B’s, sister and mother. FI and B grew up together and FI was always at B’s house and loved his mom as a 2nd mom and ‘dated’ B’s sister. I say ‘dated’ because they were two 14 year olds who didn’t do anything but hold hands and it lasted about a week. Any way he never felt the need to unfriend them and neither did I. B’s sister, A, was very friendly when she first friended me and was always commenting and liking things but she’s gone through a hard time recently and she dropped off a bit. I wasn’t offended and didn’t really care. Yesterday I put up pictures of our new house and people were congratulating us and saying how they liked certain aspects of the house and all that stuff and A commented on a picture and all it said was ‘Did you buy or rent?’ I haven’t heard from her in months, and nothing since the falling out. I just felt it was a out of the blue and it came off kind of rude. I told her we’re renting for two years and after that we have the option to buy. She responded with ‘oh ok.’ I know I might be overly sensitive right now but I can’t think of a time I would ask someone that question and that be the only thing I ask or say. I can’t tell if B&J wanted to know but then I can’t figure out why they would care? I know I need to just drop it and move on but it’s just leaving me a bit confused. Is this a normal question and I’m just being overly sensitive because of who she is?
Post # 3
I would say that you are going a little into the over sensitive area- but with good reason. I mean people are strange, and sometimes just nosey by nature. A lot of times when I am scrolling through tons of FB posts on my newsfeed nothing catches my eye like a picture. Maybe she wanted to give you a real congratulations if you had just bought your first home with FI? I kind of think it’s strange when a person I haven’t seen (or spoke to) in 7 years comments on a fb post, but then again what is fb for? I kind of keep myself in check that they are probably just being nice, and trying to show interest.
Do you miss this girl? Would you and FI still like to have her in your lives as a friend? Maybe this was her way of testing the waters to see if friendship is still an option. If she was a nice person, and offered real friendship, reach out to her. Maybe she fell off because she was going through a tough time and now she is seeking her life back?
Post # 4
I think it’s a bit nosy, but no reason to get offended.
Post # 5
@DeathByDesign: Agreed on both counts!
Post # 6
When we bought our house we had a few people who asked questions like that, mostly because we were really young.
Also, maybe she feels a little awkward as well and wants to be back “in” your life but doesn’t really know the best way to go about it?
Post # 7
It’s a little awkard, but I wouldn’t be offended. If it came from someone else would you be offended? Or just because there is such bad history there?
Post # 8
The ‘oh ok.’ response is a little strange I must admit, but I wouldn’t let someone who hasn’t been in your life for a while, bother you about a small comment. It strikes me as a strange conversation (in how minimal it was) – you sort of wonder why did she bother?
Maybe she had a reason and hasn’t mentioned it yet (you could ask her why she asked in a ‘want to reply about the details you are interested about’ way’ )
Maybe she was just looking for a chance to open up communication again and didn’t handle it too well. I would just send her a friendly answer and leave the ball in her court and see what happens…..
Post # 9
It was just a nosy question. Miss Manners would probably disagree, but I don’t think it was out of line to ask, nor do I think it is something to be offended over.
Post # 10
I understand where you are coming from. If I were you, I would have ignored the question and just not responded to her. It’s really nosy of her to ask and especially on FB where everyone can see. I would have ignored her.
Post # 11
I think you are being sensitive about it, because it’s her. Think about the person in your life right now, other than DH, that you love spending time with. If they asked you that same question, would you be offended? I’m guessing probably not. You’d probably take it that they were just curious. And, that’s how I read it as well.
p.s. CONGRATS on the house!!! 🙂 🙂
Post # 12
You are looking way too into this. It was just a question that probably did not mean to come off as rude or nosey.
Post # 13
I don’t think you’re being oversensitive…that is rude..but such as life…be angry about it/sad then realize some people are just like that…perhaps you should “defriend” this person so they aren’t disrupting your positve time!
Post # 14
Maybe she was wondering if you bought so she could congratulate you and get you a housewarming gift. Also, buying your first house is a really big deal and deserves a bigger ‘oh wow, that’s so awesome’ compared to renting, IMO. I wouldn’t stress over it.