Post # 1
So my fiance bugs the H out of me sometimes. One of things that he does is call everything that does not fit into his realm of thinking or justification stupid. He does not say it to me but will say it in relation to other things. For example we were talking about putting cereamic tile down in the foyer and I asked well are you going to put it in the coat closet too, he stated do people do that becasue that’s stupid. I absolutely HATE when he does that. Firstly it makes me think that you may say that to our future children and I not at all for that, secondly it says to me that you may not truly embrace others ways of thinking whether you agree with their opinions or not. I ask myself often is this something that I can live with forever and honestly I am not sure. Am I overreacting?
Post # 3
why don’t you try telling him not to say that anymore?
Post # 4
I think its a valid concern in teaching childrent to be open minded or not, as is the case.
Have you told him that his choice of words bother you?
FH used to say he hates certain vegetables. It bothered me for similar reasons the stupid things bothers you. I dont want future potential kids to learn that the word hate is an OK word. Its a strong word with a definate definition. He may not like, he may not prefer and he may change his mind about a vegetable, which he has done. But he doesnt really hate them. ITs about being open minded to me. It may seem silly, but I asked him to think about the term and reserve it for things he truly does hate (like seeing motorcycle riders without helmets for example). He saw my point and agreed to change the word he uses.
Have a conversation with him about the why’s you dont like that word. Tell him its OK for him not to agree, but instead of saying something stupid (especially if he doesnt know your stance on it he is inadvertantly calling you stupid) to state why he doesnt like the idea.
“Stupid” is not an explanation or a why. Its a cop out to critical thinking