Am I being reasonable!?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Ugh. That’s really upsetting.

What was the reasoning behind your bestfriend not being able to attend? The passport issue?

Aside from the obvious issues of being disappointed, is the remark about the dress an issue because the outfit you purchased for them (the BFF) not a dress?

Post # 3
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Okay firstly: Why can’t your witness be wearing a dress?  Can you just ask Angela to not wear a dress if it’s really important to you?

Secondly: did something come up?  Why can’t Sarah make it now?  How did they feel about it?  Were they sorry?  I would try to be as understanding as possible because if Sarah is a long-term friend, they will still be your friend after the wedding too and I wouldn’t want you to burn any bridges with them.

Post # 5
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

skalovingbride:  did they give a reason as to why they can no longer make it?

I would be extremely upset as you paid for their room and outfits and they are playing a very vital part in your wedding.

But cant you ask you friend Angela to wear something other than a dress if she has to fill in?

 

EDIT: just saw your update. I think you have the right to be mad because the passport thing could have been taken care of a while ago (def. needs more than 2 weeks for processing) so for them just to mention it now is not very nice.

I can understand when people have money issues, when there isn’t any there just isn’t any. It just sounds like an unfortunate situation all around. You offered to pay, are they really against you paying more? Maybe they coukd pay you back for the travel over time?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  L606.
Post # 6
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am so beyond confused; what does Sarah not wearing a dress and Angela wearing a dress have to do with it? I don’t think you’re unreasonable for being upset that your friend is not attending your wedding, especially if you’ve paid for all this stuff. But why can’t she come? This is so confusing.

Post # 8
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

anonybee0810:  The OP is using “they” as a gender-neutral pronoun as in a singular person, not two. The non-dress outfit has already been purchased for Sarah.

Post # 9
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

skalovingbride:  On the topic of mint bridesmaid dresses, have you looked at Modcloth?

Post # 12
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

skalovingbride:  OMGMrsW2B:  Ohhhhh, I get it. Yes, that is majorly inconvenient. Maybe just ask Angela if she owns a neutral-coloured dress or offer to subsidize the cost of a dress in the colour you’d prefer (like pay for half of it)? You’re not unreasonable for being upset, at all.

Post # 14
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

skalovingbride:  I would be pissed!

Btw… she can fast track her passport, and she gets up to a year to do the ‘simple-renewal’ process. If it’s just over they might be reasonable. Also do you know the border crossing? I grew up on the border and some are more lenient than others, especially when driving across the border as opposed to flying. I was allowed over the border with an expired passport when I showed my receipt that I was renewing my passport, and that was just to see the 4th of July fireworks, a wedding is much more important.

Anywho, sorry for the passport rant. But, if that truely is the only issue, it isn’t an issue. You can get a passport before your wedding by going to a designated passport office. So yay! Plus you offered to pay to get them there… so now there isn’t an issue. Unless Sarah just legit doesn’t want to come, that’s your only real issue.

Post # 15
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

skalovingbride:  The passport thing is total BS (unless she doesn’t live in a town with a passport counter). I got mine within a week without paying rush fees and my previous passport had been expired for a few years. That really sucks that your friend is being so flaky. I would just do a belt or something in mint that can coordinate with the black dress to make it easier.

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