(Closed) Am I being Ridiculous?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, I would be very upset. Have you talked to him about why he allows her to undermine your relationship with his children? Because it doesn’t just hurt you; it hurts THEM if they feel caught between their bio mom and their stepmom. It prevents them from being able to fully bond to you.  This is a big problem.

Post # 5
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

As a general rule when someone feels the need to ask if they’re being ridiculous I feel like the answer is probably going to be “yes,” but in this case I actually think NO. 

On one hand families and kids are complicated. I’m sure he feels badly for the mother that her rights are so restricted and wants to be a nice person by letting her talk to them. But the big issue here seems to be that the state has deemed it inappropriate for her to talk to her kids without court supervision. He should respect that ruling. 

What she is saying in itself doesn’t really surprise me because clearly she has issues and I’m sure she hates you for the sole reason that you get to be around her kids and she doesn’t. I’m sure she feels threatened by you and concerned that the kids will like you better than her and/or start to think of you as their mom. You’re her competition (in her eyes) and she’s a serious disadvantage not being able to see them hardly at all so she basically has to badmouth you to feel better about herself. Your Fiance really shouldn’t allow that if he *is* going to let her speak to them outside of their scheduled time… although I would guess its not that he agrees with her its just that he doesn’t want to get into a big fight with her. 

Anyways, I think the bottom line is that you should talk to your Fiance about why he is disobeying court order by allowing her to call them. 

Post # 5
14498 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

From your last two threads I think there are bigger issues going on here.  I think you need to take a step back and see if this is the best situation for you and you son.  From everything that you have said this is not a healthy relationship, IMO only.  I never say this, but I really think that you need to sit down and talk with a councilor to work out whether you want to keep the two of you in this situation.

Post # 6
4512 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You’re not being ridiculous. This is a big problem, even more so for the kids. How confusing for them. If she’s not supposed to be contacting the kids, then why is she calling? Whatever rules the state has put in place need to be enforced, for the benefit of everyone. 

Post # 7
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s simple: she’s mentally ill. He needs to cut off all communication. Sorry you are going through this — what a mess.

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