Post # 1
I have to vent somewhere… we are almost 3 weeks post wedding and we have only received a handful of gifts. we did get alot of cards, most with checks in them at the wedding, but only about half of the guests (parties not individuals) gave us anything (meaning half didn’t even give us a card- empty or otherwise) I feel like i should have taken my dads advice and just eloped and taken the money he gave us to pay for the wedding… I know they say people have 1 year after the wedding to send gifts, but do people really send gifts post wedding??? I just feel kinda ripped off… the gifts we did get didn’t even cover half of what we spent on our guests to eat and drink the night away!!!
Post # 3
Did you have a wedding for the gifts or to celebrate with your friends and family?
Post # 4
I was going to ask the same thing.
Post # 6
Honestly I dont know. My fear is that this happens to me too. I know my friends and family are not rich, so Im thinking of not registering for expensive items. Now I will register for at least 3 or 4 specific expensive items but other then that I plan on trying to keep it low. So that people will be more keen on buying what my Fi need.
I still cannot believe that people go to weddings without SOMETHING. I find that so rude. Some couples dont need anything, but alot of couples do. Like my FI and I.
Either way, you still get that 10% off on the items that you didnt get from guests on your registeries. SO thats a plus. 🙂
Post # 7
@trueblue39: sorry but yeaaa you sound selfish. I don’t think you will find anyone on here that will tell you that you don’t sound selfish.
HOWEVER, I think it is very rude for people to not even give a card. I would never not show up without a gift. I’m sorry you had so many people not give you at least a card. I can’t say I wouldn’t be a little miffed about it either. But think about it this way, that means less thank you cards for you to have to write. 🙂
Post # 8
i had the wedding to celebrate with our friends and family who we actually know and love… not they tons people that i had to invite because of my parents and his parents (both divorced and remarried with their own friends…) that we have never even met… I wouldn’t care at all if it had only been our friends and family- all for throwing a big party… but i did think it would be more of a trade- we throw huge expensive party and you (in exchange) buy us some stuff on our registry so we can stop eating off our super chipped college plates and hand-me-down furniture…
Post # 9
No one owes you a gift.
This should be the last thing on your mind 3 weeks into newly wedded life.
Post # 10
It’s funny that we see different wordings of this same question all the time and I feel like half the time the crowd is like OMG you’re so selfish and sometimes they aren’t.
Does anyone pay for a wedding to get gifts? No. It would make no fiscal sense to host an elborate party in the hopes that your guests could possibly cover the overhead.
Out of a guest list of 138 (I think?) only 3 parties did not give gifts at the wedding. Two parties gave us gifts by the recently passed year “deadline”.
I guess this varies largely by social circle and location but I would feel incredibly awkward not bringing something to a wedding.
Post # 11
Did they all give you a card?
If they didnt, then I would say rude. I know not everyone can’t afford a gift, but everyone should give an acknowledgement.
And I have recently had a new opinion. I would never go to a wedding empty handed. So a card is the minimum. Even if I only had $5 to spend I would spend it. An ornament, a glass, a frame etc… They can all be purchased for $5. If I think I wouldnt go to an event like a wedding without something, then I DO think its rude to not bring anything… a card at the minimum.
EDIT: having gone through all the stages of opinions related to this, I know its not popular. I know the opinion that is considered “right ettiqute”, but in reality its different. I got gifts from every one of my guests and cards (well with the excepion of a sister which is a whole ‘nother story). Some were much more than others (and I didnt cash a few), but despite what we paid, they were celebrating us.
I would never go to bday celebrating another person (knowing it was a bday party) and not bring a card and/present. (in reality a present of some sort)
Post # 12
Was it rude for them to show up without so much as a card? Yes.
Are they expected to get you a gift? No.
Are you being selfish complaining about it 3 weeks after the wedding? Yes.
Post # 13
also little backround info- not only are we 3 weeks into married life but we have gone through the loss of a parent (my mom) 2 weeks before the wedding so I am the first one to admit i’m a little crazy right now…
We did register for lots of extremely inexpensive gifts (under $10)
good point about less thank yous
WHAT FEELS THE WORST IS HALF THE GUESTS DIDN’T EVEN GIVE US A CARD WITH WELL WISHES…
Post # 14
I would also like to point out that while most on here have called me selfish, another poll on here right now is showing that a huge majority of people would be sad/disappointed if they didn’t receive a gift… just sayin…
Post # 15
@trueblue39: I am so sorry about your mom. I really am.
I think what someone is supposed to think and what actually happens is drastically different.
I did expect gifts because I have been to weddings on both sides.
I give gifts.
If I didnt receive them, I would be upset. Shallow? possibly? but the best prediction of the future is the past and the past was a certain way.
I don’t know your circle of friends of family, but if that were to happen to me I would be upset as well, especially considering what I know of my friends and families behavior.
Post # 16
@lefeymw: i think you and i have a similar viewpoint… i think its fair to expect the universe (and your friends/family) to give back what you have given…