- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
A little over a year ago, I started making a ring for my FI, planning to propose in February 2014. We’d been planning a trip to Malta for a few days, and after a couple of major misunderstandings, I thought he’d found out about my plans (he hadn’t) and since I’m madly in love with him, I figured what the hell, I’ll do it in Malta. Which I did.
After the initial shock followed by hugging and kissing and happiness, he said he had to get me a ring. I said he didn’t have to, but I definitely wouldn’t mind if he wanted to, and he said he was going to.
When we got back home, I was a little bit worried that he was going to think I wanted something expensive or overly fancy, so I kept showing him rings on Ebay that were really cheap. One I really loved was ₤50, and I think it was the most expensive one. I really went about it the wrong way, because instead of letting him know subtly that I didn’t need a huge rock, he felt like I was pushing him to buy me a ring, so I backed off and tried not to bring it up.
We didn’t tell his family about the engagement for a couple of months because we wanted to tell them in person when we visited, so after we got back, I felt really weird still having a naked finger, so I asked him to move my great grandmother’s engagement ring from my right hand to my left.
I spotted a ring I loved in a shop window and saved my bonuses from work to get it, since I didn’t feel it was fair to ask him to buy me a ring with his own money as I proposed. A chunk of that money went to a terrible suitcase that he suggested I buy, and as soon as I bought it, I got really upset because I realized my chances of getting a ring before the wedding (in October) are getting kind of low.
We went ring shopping the next day, but nothing really jumped out at us that was in our price range, so I looked again on Ebay, found a ring I LOVE, but he doesn’t like it, and I feel like if I’m picking it myself knowing he doesn’t like it, what’s the point?
Anyway, that was a couple of months ago, and it seems like he’s thinking I’m just going to keep my great grandmother’s ring as the ring (it’s a beautiful ring, but it doesn’t feel like an engagement ring to me because I’ve been wearing it since before we met).
Am I being selfish if I ask him to get me a ring? I don’t mean financially, because I would happily contribute, but do I have the right to ask when I was the one who propsed?