Am I being selfish on wedding date?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Am I being selfish?
    Yes... Quit being a b**** and be grateful instead! Pick another date. : (52 votes)
    43 %
    No... Keep the date and compromise on the following (suggestion pls) : (9 votes)
    8 %
    No... They're dictating your wedding... not cool : (51 votes)
    43 %
    Other... (please explain) : (8 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would keep the date as it seems to be more practical for a lot of your guests, and also do you not want to keep your FI’s birthday separate? I would hate to celebrate my wedding anniversary on my birthday.

    I think you should compromise on the guest list perhaps…. if you’re paying for it all, it seems unfair that most of your guests are your parents’ friends.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3010 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Steqpham:  choose a date that works for you and stick with it. If there are certain people you absolutely want there, then check with them. Otherwise, you will have 350 opinions to contend with. If you will miss having your cousins present, change the date. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    583 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @Steqpham:  Honestly I think if this date is special to you then you should keep it. You may have to not have the kids in the wedding if they are still in school (just a thought if their parents change their minds) so you may have to be prepared for that, but July can be very, very hot and if you have your heart set on a date it is you that has that date for the rest of your life.

    Also, if FI likes that it’s on his birthday then that is a good point to consider when telling your family why the date means a lot to the both of you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1929 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Do what you want.  The kids can take days off of school, it won’t kill them!  Ultimately, this is your wedding and it sounds like you’ve compromised enough!

    Post # 7
    Member
    7195 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t think you need to accomodate everyone. But also, I don’t like the idea of inconveniencing people just because June 7 happens to be your fiance’s birthday. If you can just as easily have the wedding a couple of weeks later than June 7, why not?

    Post # 8
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @Steqpham:  Are you getting married on a weekday? Because kids don’t go to school on weekends. Also, kids aren’t going to fail school for missing one day to make it a long weekend to go to a family wedding. This will be your anniversary for the rest of your life. If it’s that special to you they should get on board.

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Since you’re having part of your ceremony at your sister’s house, I think you need to work around her schedule.

    I wouldn’t change it for the the extended family though, someone’s going to have a problem with any date you choose. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    9092 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I say unless someone’s a total VIP that you can’t imagine your wedding without them, don’t plan around them.  We had a few people (*cough* DH’s extended family) whining about our fall wedding because it’s harder to travel in the summer, so we picked a day in the summer to accommodate them, and then they just decided not to come anyway.

    However… I think you need to book around “venue availability”.  And if your sister’s house is one of your venues, and she’s inconvenienced by the day you either need to find an alternate date or an alternate place to hold the ceremony.  You can’t just tell someone you’re using their house on X date whether they like it or not, unfortunately.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9092 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I say unless someone’s a total VIP that you can’t imagine your wedding without them, don’t plan around them.  We had a few people (*cough* DH’s extended family) whining about our fall wedding because it’s harder to travel in the summer, so we picked a day in the summer to accommodate them, and then they just decided not to come anyway.

    However… I think you need to book around “venue availability”.  And if your sister’s house is one of your venues, and she’s inconvenienced by the day you either need to find an alternate date or an alternate place to hold the ceremony.  You can’t just tell someone you’re using their house on X date whether they like it or not, unfortunately.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9092 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I say unless someone’s a total VIP that you can’t imagine your wedding without them, don’t plan around them.  We had a few people (*cough* DH’s extended family) whining about our fall wedding because it’s harder to travel in the summer, so we picked a day in the summer to accommodate them, and then they just decided not to come anyway.

    However… I think you need to book around “venue availability”.  And if your sister’s house is one of your venues, and she’s inconvenienced by the day you either need to find an alternate date or an alternate place to hold the ceremony.  You can’t just tell someone you’re using their house on X date whether they like it or not, unfortunately.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Yeah, you’re the bride.

    There are few times in your life when it will be acceptable to completely put your wants ahead of others wants, but at such a milestone in your life, I would say you are justified to do so.

    I think it’s pretty selfish that people are trying to dictate the date of you wedding over something as insignificant as it clashing with school dates. If they can’t make it, their loss.

    I’m usually really nice & kind to people, but in my mind I’m a total bridezilla, just in case anybody was wondering why I sound like such a bitch lol.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    does your FI want to get married on his birthday? He’ll never have a seperate birthday again. Sorry if its already been asked.

     

    It’s your wedding so have it when you want but concider how much you want these people there as they are giving you warning that they may not be able to make that date.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5087 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Do what makes you and Your FI happy OP. There will always be some guests would cant attend for a variety of reasons…It’s just how it goes. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    7397 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    What does your FI think? Personally I would hate for my wedding date and my birthday date to be the same. Basically you will be forcing him to share his day (his birthday) with you for the rest of your lives. Let him have his day to himself and have another date to celebrate your union.

     

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