Post # 1
First off, I would like to say that I don’t mind if you are all brutally honest with me because I prefer knowing whether I should just change the way I perceive things or if I have a reason to be a little annoyed.
So I am a newly wed and my DH & I sometimes have different work schedules. I am the white collar one, with permanent scheidule of working weekdays 8AM -5PM. My DH is the blue collar one and works AM shifts some days, mid-day shifts other days, and PM shifts other days. His schedule changes week to week, as well.
I send him texts during the day, sometimes when he is at work and other times when he is home. The texts vary from “Hope you are having a great day! I love you” to “Hi, I forgot to tell you that the dog wouldn’t go #2 this AM. Would you mind letting her out when you can? Thanks in advance!” to “I just got a raise!”. Half of the time he doesn’t respond.
What bothers me the most is when I put an effort to put a smile on his face & he seems unphased or he doesn’t even acknowledge the sentiment, especially on days when he is at home and should be able to respond.
The other day I sent him this ultra sweet – just because – text to say “Thanks for all you do” text, while I was at work and he was at home, and the response I got was “Where are my hair clippers?”….Seriously???
This morning, I sent him a couple of messages about some positive things going on at work. It’s been hours and he hasn’t responded. Board on my lunch break I was flipping through Instagram and saw he was “liking” photos left and right, but somehow didn’t have the time to respond to me with a simple “That’s great, babe!”
So, please, let me know if I have reason to be offended or if this is all no big deal. If this would offend you, would you bring this up? And if so, how would you go about it without being too reactionary?
Post # 2
always-trying: I think you’re reading way too much into this. If it’s really bothering you, you could say something but I probably wouldn’t.
Post # 3
You have every right to be upset, but you should talk to him. It sounds like I’m living your life right now. Lol. FI works different shifts and I have a steady schedule. I won’t hear from him for hours and hours and then I’ll see he was on twitter posting articles. Ummmm, you can read articles, but can’t say hi to me? I finally had to just tell him how I was hurt (I don’t think they think about it) and he’s been better about it. I mean, life is so short and if I don’t see much of you, the least you can do is show me you care. Shoot me a quick text or whatever, but if you can be on FB, IG or Twitter, then you can certainly text me or respond when I take time out of my day to text you. Grrrr! Men! 😛
Post # 4
That would probably bother me, but has your husband always been this way with texts? If so, then I don’t think you can expect much to change. It just sounds like that’s the way he communicates. But you could talk to him about it. I would casually ask if he gets your texts since he doesn’t respond – that’s pretty nonconfrontational and a legit question.
Sometimes I read texts and mentally respond in my head, or try to remember to respond later and never do. The “where are my hair clippers” thing is annoying though.
Post # 5
I’m sure everyone’s going to tell you to get over it and you’re being too sensitive but that would annoy me to. Has DH always been like that? Not very mushy or romantic? if so, you can’t expect him to change.
Post # 6
always-trying: ya, I’d be peeved. My FI frequently doesn’t respond to texts, so I usually don’t really get annoyed about it anymore. But, if he didn’t have time to respond yet was flipping through crap on fb/Instagram/whatever, and “liked” pics and commented on those – well, I would probably just be reactionary. I would probably send him a message that goes like this: “W.T.F.???!!!” This always gets his attention and he would respond.
Though honestly, it could be as dumb as his phone was plugged in charging, or on silent, or something along those lines. Mind you, if he ignores you on purpose, I would bring it up with him. Guaranteed he just hates being on the phone, like most men I know 🙂
Post # 7
I think you are just being too sensitive becuase…. yes, I’m that type of person that I hate replying phone or text msg… but I have no problem like friend’s posts.
I know it’s annoying and I’m being bad but I’m not aganist anybody. I just hate replying text msg … I rather grab the phone and start calling others..
Maybe your husband is this way too?
Post # 8
It would annoy me that he doesn’t respond, especially when he’s not working. Ask him about it. He might not be that into texting but if that’s the case, he should let you know.
Post # 9
always-trying: What’s his personality like outside of texting? If you were to randomly tell him the “thanks for all you do” thing in person how would he respond? Maybe he’s just not a big texter? I definitely think it’s worth bringing up though. I know not everyone is as into texting as others, but if you explain that to you its a nice way to stay in touch and check in sweetly during the day and that you would really appreciate if he could make more of an effort, I think most people would respond positively and realize that you’re not asking for much.
Post # 10
always-trying: I would be, and was upset when my FI did the same thing.
He honestly didn’t know it bothered me and since then he msgs back, or will randomly text me sweet things throughout the day.
I know it’s silly, but it borthered me too. I vote talk to him, he probably just doesn’t know it hurts your feelings.
Post # 11
Has he always been this way with texting? Is her a “mental replied” i.e. Does he think about his reply and does the text make him smile, but he never actually remembers to type it out and hit send?
Talk to him about it, he likely does not realise that it makes you feelmunder valued. Explain that you feel like he doesn’t respext the time and effort you to in to let him know that you are thinking of him and that it makes you feel like he doesn’t care about the good things happening in your life. But also balance this out in your head, when you get home, do you talk about things in person? Does he acknowledge the things that are going well for you when face to face? If so, perhaps be prepared to accept the fact that texting just doesn’t so it for him.
Post # 12
always-trying: This would bother me.
Prior to being in a relationship with me, my husband rarely text anyone– he was actually on an old-school text plan from YEARS ago where you only got XX amount of texts, and once he realized we were texting often and he went over- he changed his plan to the norm “unlimited”.
He wasn’t a texter before- but it became a great way for us to stay in touch while I worked nights.
Now, I have an extremely open schedule- and he works 3:30am-1pm, and if it’s not me texting him, it’s him texting me- just to stay in touch, tell me he misses me, etc…..
I think it’s a great way to stay in touch- we’ve even hashed out a disagreement or two through text (not something I’d call the norm, but when he’s at bowling league, and we have an issue LOL– it works!)
I’d definitely talk to him. He likely just doesn’t get that it’s important to you– which is a bummer. Because even if it’s just text, you’re still making an effort to communicate with him.
Post # 13
I think you might be overthinking this, some men are better with this kind of thing than others.
He might have got your text got interupted to do something and by the time he got back to his phone forgot to text you back.
Basically I wouldn’t assume the worst
Post # 14
You could ask him directly about his social media habits. Maybe he just doesn’t like to text. Maybe he’s frequently busy at work and not able to respond to text promptly, but maybe liking on instagram is a rare occurrence for stress relief. Who knows.
Post # 15
Not everyone is not expressing cutesy emtions via text. Especially, i f he has always been that way. Of course talk to him about it, but also adjust your expectations and perhaps limit the amount you text. I’m the type that if I don’t respond right away to a text, sending more will not inspire me to respond quicker. Just the opposite.