Am I being sensitive? DH doesn't reply to sweet texts but is on Instagram

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

always-trying:  I think you’re reading way too much into this. If it’s really bothering you, you could say something but I probably wouldn’t. 

Post # 3
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You have every right to be upset, but you should talk to him. It sounds like I’m living your life right now. Lol. FI works different shifts and I have a steady schedule. I won’t hear from him for hours and hours and then I’ll see he was on twitter posting articles. Ummmm, you can read articles, but can’t say hi to me? I finally had to just tell him how I was hurt (I don’t think they think about it) and he’s been better about it. I mean, life is so short and if I don’t see much of you, the least you can do is show me you care. Shoot me a quick text or whatever, but if you can be on FB, IG or Twitter, then you can certainly text me or respond when I take time out of my day to text you. Grrrr! Men! 😛

Post # 4
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That would probably bother me, but has your husband always been this way with texts? If so, then I don’t think you can expect much to change. It just sounds like that’s the way he communicates. But you could talk to him about it. I would casually ask if he gets your texts since he doesn’t respond – that’s pretty nonconfrontational and a legit question.

Sometimes I read texts and mentally respond in my head, or try to remember to respond later and never do. The “where are my hair clippers” thing is annoying though.

Post # 5
414 posts
Helper bee

I’m sure everyone’s going to tell you to get over it and you’re being too sensitive but that would annoy me to. Has DH  always been like that? Not very mushy or romantic?  if so, you can’t expect him to change. 

Post # 6
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

always-trying:  ya, I’d be peeved. My FI frequently doesn’t respond to texts, so I usually don’t really get annoyed about it anymore. But, if he didn’t have time to respond yet was flipping through crap on fb/Instagram/whatever, and “liked” pics and commented on those – well, I would probably just be reactionary. I would probably send him a message that goes like this: “W.T.F.???!!!” This always gets his attention and he would respond. 

Though honestly, it could be as dumb as his phone was plugged in charging, or on silent, or something along those lines. Mind you, if he ignores you on purpose, I would bring it up with him. Guaranteed he just hates being on the phone, like most men I know 🙂

Post # 7
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014



I think you are just being too sensitive becuase…. yes, I’m that type of person that I hate replying phone or text msg… but I have no problem like friend’s posts. 


I know it’s annoying and I’m being bad but I’m not aganist anybody. I just hate replying text msg … I rather grab the phone and start calling others.. 


Maybe your husband is this way too? 

Post # 8
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It would annoy me that he doesn’t respond, especially when he’s not working. Ask him about it. He might not be that into texting but if that’s the case, he should let you know.

Post # 9
865 posts
Busy bee

always-trying:  What’s his personality like outside of texting?  If you were to randomly tell him the “thanks for all you do” thing in person how would he respond?  Maybe he’s just not a big texter?  I definitely think it’s worth bringing up though.  I know not everyone is as into texting as others, but if you explain that to you its a nice way to stay in touch and check in sweetly during the day and that you would really appreciate if he could make more of an effort, I think most people would respond positively and realize that you’re not asking for much.

Post # 10
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

always-trying:  I would be, and was upset when my FI did the same thing.

He honestly didn’t know it bothered me and since then he msgs back, or will randomly text me sweet things throughout the day.

I know it’s silly, but it borthered me too. I vote talk to him, he probably just doesn’t know it hurts your feelings.

Post # 11
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Has he always been this way with texting? Is her a “mental replied” i.e. Does he think about his reply and does the text make him smile, but he never actually remembers to type it out and hit send? 

Talk to him about it, he likely does not realise that it makes you feelmunder valued. Explain that you feel like he doesn’t respext the time and effort you to in to let him know that you are thinking of him and that it makes you feel like he doesn’t care about the good things happening in your life. But also balance this out in your head, when you get home, do you talk about things in person? Does he acknowledge the things that are going well for you when face to face? If so, perhaps be prepared to accept the fact that texting just doesn’t so it for him. 

Post # 12
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

always-trying:  This would bother me. 

Prior to being in a relationship with me, my husband rarely text anyone– he was actually on an old-school text plan from YEARS ago where you only got XX amount of texts, and once he realized we were texting often and he went over- he changed his plan to the norm “unlimited”.

He wasn’t a texter before- but it became a great way for us to stay in touch while I worked nights.  

Now, I have an extremely open schedule- and he works 3:30am-1pm, and if it’s not me texting him, it’s him texting me- just to stay in touch, tell me he misses me, etc…..

I think it’s a great way to stay in touch- we’ve even hashed out a disagreement or two through text (not something I’d call the norm, but when he’s at bowling league, and we have an issue LOL– it works!)


I’d definitely talk to him. He likely just doesn’t get that it’s important to you– which is a bummer.  Because even if it’s just text, you’re still making an effort to communicate with him.

Post # 13
2580 posts
Sugar bee

I think you might be overthinking this, some men are better with this kind of thing than others.

He might have got your text got interupted to do something and by the time he got back to his phone forgot to text you back.

Basically I wouldn’t assume the worst


Post # 14
6459 posts
Bee Keeper

You could ask him directly about his social media habits. Maybe he just doesn’t like to text. Maybe he’s frequently busy at work and not able to respond to text promptly, but maybe liking on instagram is a rare occurrence for stress relief. Who knows.

Post # 15
7240 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not everyone is not expressing cutesy emtions via text. Especially, i f he has always been that way. Of course talk to him about it, but also adjust your expectations and perhaps limit the amount you text. I’m the type that if I don’t respond right away to a text, sending more will not inspire me to respond quicker. Just the opposite. 

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