Post # 1
Hello bees, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months and things are going good… Can’t say I’m a waiting bee yet but hopefully will be one day. Anyway, yesterday I visited my boyfriend, he’s in his last semester of college and lives w a roommate. They were looking at backstreet boys tickets for June and tickets were in the 100s if not higher, now they’re both dorks and are big into those 90s boy bands (were both 23), and want to also add a “meet and greet” ticket to the package and saw that it would e about 600 per person or so… So while I was there my boyfriend turned around and have me the “wittle me wants tickets” pouty face which was half kidding half not. I said no at first and he wasn’t mad or anything but I thought about it a little and thought, hey why not I know he would love to go (would’ve gone either way) but I figured I’d do a nice gesture, so I said I will set a $300 limit… And he got super excited and his roommate teased what “the holiday was” for me being so nice haha
<div>So basically I implied I would pitch it up to 300 and he can pay the excess f there is any.. Kind of a “just because”gift. I should also say I graduated last year and am working full time, make decent money do the amount doesn’t leave me broke but I don’t have a tree that grows money at home or anything haha</div>
<div>Well I mentioned this to a coworker just cuz I was excited and she mentioned that was a red flag to her, like he’s mooching my money and taking advantage of me… And since I CAN be a gullible person, it got me thinking what if he’s playing me and I am being used? It didn’t feel that way till she mentioned it though. I feel he didn’t force me or act mad when I said no… But did act very excited when I said yes.. We both buy each other thins every now and then. He pays for food most of the time (especially if its a nice restaurant he only let’s me pay every now and them of its McDonald’s breakfast or something, and knot treated him to a nice place once. He got me an Xbox 360 and games for Christmas, plus other gifts for my birthday and I got him a sound bar for his. Plus a few other tv series on DVD here and there, only reason I list these is to kind of give an idea but not cuz I try to keep track of who’s spent more or less.. At least not consciously! haha)</div>
<div>So bees, what do you think? Am I being used or would u do the same for your SO? I just wanted it to be like a nice gesture but not a sign that says “hey use me I’m gullible” or even worse, that I am already being used! :(</div>
Post # 2
I can’t believe a grown man wants to spend $600 to meet the BSB…
I don’t think he’s using you unless he does this sort of thing often.
Post # 3
Cory_loves_this_girl: +1 Eek, I definitely have a few mix tapes from the junior high days of listening to BSB & N’Sync, but I couldn’t fathom shelling out that much money to go to a concert.
Well OP, if you feel like your relationship is fairly equitable and you are both contributing to it, then no, you probably aren’t being taken advantage of right now. But if you feel like you are putting in more and he is not reciprocating on some level, then you may have cause for concern.
Post # 4
willow_1960: My take on the whole using thing is that if you are offering it can’t be considered using. I dated a guy once that would accept all of my gifts, I for some reason was a moron and just really liked to do things for him. I couldn’t get mad at him though in the end because I was doing it all out of my own free will. In your case, it seems as though this isn’t just a one sided relationship where you are the only one giving. He seems to give too which is proof that it’s not him using you. If he was using you why would he do for you and buy you pricey gifts? When someone is using someone all they want to do is take. That’s not what he’s doing.
Post # 5
You are not being used, he didn’t demand the money or make any threats or anything like that. This is perfectly normal relationship behaviour. Ignore your coworker. I hope your bf has a good time!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
It is hilarious that he wants meet and greet tickets to BSB! I thought that kind of thing would be reserved for 30ish year old women such as myself! Anyway, no it doesn’t sound like he is using you. If you want to get me a ticket too, though, go ahead 😉
Post # 6
Me and my FI do stuff for each other all the time. I am a student and he works so he does pay for most stuff right now but he would equally be happy for me to spend my money on him (if i had any!) If you have the money and he would appreciate the gift, whats the harm? I think its great to be able to do stuff like. Spoling the other person is part of the fun of being in love.
Post # 8
I mean, it’s super generous and awesome of you to offer $300 toward the tickets, but I don’t think he’s taking advantage of you. If he were guilting you or hitting you up for more money then sure, but if he’s genuinely grateful and like PP said isn’t doing this kind of thing often I don’t see the problem.
Post # 9
Nope, he’s not taking advantage of you. It’s a little funny/strange that he’s so excited for a meet and greet with the BSB, but he’s not using you.
Post # 10
I don’t know that he’s using you, but it sounds like your his mother in this situation. I would never give my bf $300, especially for something as useless as concert tickets.
Post # 11
willow_1960: definitely NOT!
you did something nice for YOUR boyfriend. if you have it, and you want to spend it, then do it. don’t let other people tell you you’re doing something wrong just because they wouldn’t do it.
don’t let other people live for you or think for you. i’m married now but in the past i’ve bought a $300 big bertha golf club for an ex, shoes, clothes, trips…etc. i make good money too and graduated from college making good money so i splurged on the people i dated. GIFTS are my love language so it’s what i liked to do. nothing wrong with that. enjoy the concert!
Post # 12
willow_1960: A 23 y/o man wanting BSB tickets? Does he even know who they are?
Post # 13
MrsN14: to me the scale is just different. if a billionaire bought a car for his or her mate, that’s nothing compared to the other things they buy from day to day. if she isn’t scraping together money to do it, then what’s the harm? it’s her money. and you mean to tell me you don’t buy gifts for people you date? that sucks.
Post # 14
Cory_loves_this_girl: hey my husband L-O-V-E-S celine dion… lol some men are just different i guess. i would totally splurge on $1k tickets to see her and meet her in vegas if we had it.
Post # 15
So are you both going to the concert together? Or is he going with his roommate and you’re paying him $300 to do so? It sounds like you do nice things for each other, but that wasn’t the flag for me. He seriously would rather spend this kind of money just to meet these guys? And you’re 100% sure of what way he holds the bat right?