Am I being taken advantage of? :( what would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
7271 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I can’t believe a grown man wants to spend $600 to meet the BSB…

I don’t think he’s using you unless he does this sort of thing often.

Post # 3
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

Cory_loves_this_girl:  +1 Eek, I definitely have a few mix tapes from the junior high days of listening to BSB & N’Sync, but I couldn’t fathom shelling out that much money to go to a concert.

Well OP, if you feel like your relationship is fairly equitable and you are both contributing to it, then no, you probably aren’t being taken advantage of right now. But if you feel like you are putting in more and he is not reciprocating on some level, then you may have cause for concern.

Post # 4
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

willow_1960:  My take on the whole using thing is that if you are offering it can’t be considered using. I dated a guy once that would accept all of my gifts, I for some reason was a moron and just really liked to do things for him. I couldn’t get mad at him though in the end because I was doing it all out of my own free will. In your case, it seems as though this isn’t just a one sided relationship where you are the only one giving. He seems to give too which is proof that it’s not him using you. If he was using you why would he do for you and buy you pricey gifts? When someone is using someone all they want to do is take. That’s not what he’s doing.

Post # 5
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

You are not being used, he didn’t demand the money or make any threats or anything like that. This is perfectly normal relationship behaviour. Ignore your coworker. I hope your bf has a good time!

Post # 6
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

It is hilarious that he wants meet and greet tickets to BSB! I thought that kind of thing would be reserved for 30ish year old women such as myself! Anyway, no it doesn’t sound like he is using you. If you want to get me a ticket too, though, go ahead 😉

Post # 6
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Me and my FI do stuff for each other all the time. I am a student and he works so he does pay for most stuff right now but he would equally be happy for me to spend my money on him (if i had any!) If you have the money and he would appreciate the gift, whats the harm? I think its great to be able to do stuff like. Spoling the other person is part of the fun of being in love.  

Post # 8
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I mean, it’s super generous and awesome of you to offer $300 toward the tickets, but I don’t think he’s taking advantage of you. If he were guilting you or hitting you up for more money then sure, but if he’s genuinely grateful and like PP said isn’t doing this kind of thing often I don’t see the problem.

Post # 9
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

Nope, he’s not taking advantage of you. It’s a little funny/strange that he’s so excited for a meet and greet with the BSB, but he’s not using you.

Post # 10
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t know that he’s using you, but it sounds like your his mother in this situation. I would never give my bf $300, especially for something as useless as concert tickets. 

Post # 11
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

willow_1960:  definitely NOT!

you did something nice for YOUR boyfriend. if you have it, and you want to spend it, then do it. don’t let other people tell you you’re doing something wrong just because they wouldn’t do it.

don’t let other people live for you or think for you. i’m married now but in the past i’ve bought a $300 big bertha golf club for an ex, shoes, clothes, trips…etc. i make good money too and graduated from college making good money so i splurged on the people i dated. GIFTS are my love language so it’s what i liked to do. nothing wrong with that. enjoy the concert!

Post # 12
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

willow_1960:  A 23 y/o man wanting BSB tickets? Does he even know who they are?

Post # 13
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

MrsN14:  to me the scale is just different. if a billionaire bought a car for his or her mate, that’s nothing compared to the other things they buy from day to day. if she isn’t scraping together money to do it, then what’s the harm? it’s her money. and you mean to tell me you don’t buy gifts for people you date? that sucks.

Post # 14
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Cory_loves_this_girl:  hey my husband L-O-V-E-S celine dion… lol some men are just different i guess. i would totally splurge on $1k tickets to see her and meet her in vegas if we had it.

Post # 15
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

So are you both going to the concert together?  Or is he going with his roommate and you’re paying him $300 to do so?  It sounds like you do nice things for each other, but that wasn’t the flag for me.  He seriously would rather spend this kind of money just to meet these guys?  And you’re 100% sure of what way he holds the bat right?

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