Post # 1
My bf and I are 2.5 yrs into our relationship, and have been living together since 10 months of dating. We get along well, but lately have been bickering a lot more than usual. I’ve been thinking more and more about the possibility of spending my life with him, and this has made me more critical about everything he says and does. So critical to point that with every action/opinion I dislike/disagree with my thoughts automatically go to, “Ugh, I couldn’t deal with that for the rest of my life.” Is this normal? Should I stop being so critical, and just go with the flow?
Post # 3
@sincerely_jr: There is a lot more to the answer to your question than just the content you provided. But I can tell you that my FI and I go through phases of “high bicker”, where we just turn into Frank & Estelle Costanza for 5 days. But eventually the weekend comes, we get out of our funk by time spent apart with friends or a good yoga class or a night of 2 bottles of wine & a hangover and its like a “reset” button and things go back to normal peacefulness. I have it in me to become over critical and I know that, so I work to keep that in check & have a balanced perspective. Every now & then aI might have a passing thought like yours – that I can’t deal with such & such for the rest of my life, but it’s only a passing thought. I have them less & less all the time. When I find I am becoming bitchy, over critical, and taking things for granted I start with looking at myself first. I usually have been lax on my fitness routine, stressed out at work, not spent time apart from FI doing my own thing. Basically lacking stimulation/outlet & losing “my self”.
If none of this applies to you then maybe you do have some thinking to do! Maybe the two of you are just going through a growing pain. I think lasting relationships hog through growing pains.
Post # 4
There are times when I’m sooo lovey dovey with FI and think about how awesome we get along. And there are times when I want to rip his head off because he keeps smacking his gum and UGH does he always have to leave his socks laying around??? But ultimately, he’s my best friend and I love him to pieces. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever be super annoyed at your SO!
Post # 5
I think it’s pretty normal to be annoyed or frustrated.. the chance of your fiance or boyfriend being 100% perfect ALL THE TIME isn’t going to happen. I’m sure there are things you do that annoy him to!
But, if you are in a constant state of annoyance for months at a time, there may be something wrong in the big picture.
There are days where fi just leaves his towel in the wrong room and it drives me over the edge, we bicker a little and in a few hours we are fine. Getting and staying mad over small things really isn’t a good use of my time.
At the end of the day, we love each other beyond words.
Post # 6
My husband and I go through stages where everything we do pisses each other off. It’s natural, I find. If you’re feeling like this for months at a time, I might start to really think about what I’m getting from the relationship, and if being angry at him all the time is okay with me.
Post # 7
The longer we’re married, the less often I get annoyed with him. He’s built up so many good time credits by doing so many things right, it gets easier to let the small stuff go.