(Closed) Am I being to sensitive – be honest!

posted 8 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

Aw, I’m really sorry to hear that. A good friend of mine actually had this same problem, but with her roommate. Honestly, the best thing to do is wait it out, and still try to be a friend to B. You don’t have to invest a lot, but at least let her know you’re still around. Maybe you could find a new place to meet friends, sometimes coworks are hard as there’s a conflict of interest on occasion. I kind of have the same problem, making new friends is pretty tough for me. Maybe you’ll meet a cool neighbor, or you could take a cooking/sewing/dancing class! This could be an opportunity rather than a crisis. Everyone deserves a friend who won’t ditch you when someone new comes around.

Post # 4
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee

I totally get and understand where you are coming from nzbride because I used to be in that very same position at a previous job. When I brought the situation up with my mentor (outside of work) he put a different perspective on it that I use daily now. He said that people often dislike in others what they dislike in themselves.

So for me, my issue was with a girl who was always “me me me” and “I did this this and this.” Because she was always self-promoting, she got a lot of recognition and was assigned the better projects/accounts, etc. Meanwhile, here I was quietly doing the better work than her but I seemed to get no recognition. What I realized was I hated the fact that she was really good at self-promoting while I sucked at it. From then on I tried to make friends with her to learn how she does it. Being around her made me a lot more confident in myself so having her around actually helped me at work. If it was not for her I would not have learned of this weakness so I actually quietly thank her in my mind for being the way she is.

I am not sure if your situation is the same but putting a different perspective on it sometimes helps.

Post # 5
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ugh, there’s a reason they say “three’s a crowd”.  It’s a tough dynamic.

You just still have to try to be friendly with both of them, or you’ll only end up getting pushed further and further on the outs.

Post # 6
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@bottlehalffull: First, don’t be shy because others are unemployed, have bigger problems etc. Just like there will always be a prettier, wealthier, luckier person than you, there will always be the opposite as well. Everyone is allowed to feel upset once in a while!

I had a similar situation. This new girl started and unlike your situation we had a lot in common; kid the same age, look (we are in the beauty business so this is “important”) and in similar relationships. Until…  her bf and her broke up, she’s now a single mom, and now nobody cared to ask about me or my family, and everyone just loved her. I would mention something I wanted (ex. a certain model of car) and she would go out and get it. This happened with so many things, I finally figured out; I’m better off in her eyes, getting married, owning my own home, etc. She’s actually jealous of lil old me! And I’m jealous of her, not in a spiteful way, but she’s really pretty and doing it all on her own, and buying a new car, and going back to school… Silly when you think about it!

I think B will realize the girl is just another girl after a while and get bored of her. The newness wears off. You are not acting like you’re in H.S. but you feel ignored and that’s a valid feeling for anyone!

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