Post # 1
Hi there my bees,
I am affraid I am begining to be too clingy. My bf and I have been dating for about 8 months now and during this time we’ve seen eachother almost everyday, and the days that we were apart were mostly work related traveling. Now, I have just came back from such a trip (3 days) and next week I shall go abroad again for a whole week. He also has to travel due to his work for 5 days so we don’t get to see eachother for 2 weeks.
Now my problem. I just got back home and he will leave early tomorrow and he would rather spend this evening with his friends rather than see me, which makes me kind of sad. Am I being too clingy?
How do you girls deal with these situations?
Post # 3
I don’t think wanting to spend a single evening together out of 2 weeks of not seeing each other is clingy. I personally would be upset that he’d rather spend an entire evening with friends and not spend even an hour with me, and I would tell him that.
Post # 4
I understand you wanting to see him while you can. Since it will be 2 weeks until you get to see him again. Could you split the night or something? He hangs with his friends earlier and comes to see you after a few hours so he gets time with everyone? I am secretly jealous that you have time away from your SO! I live with my fiancee, work at the same place and crave alone time!!!! I would just tell him you love him and miss him and want some quality time with hiim before you are apart. Make the best of the time he gives you, (I’m being optimistic this will work!) even if it’s only an hour or two. Hope this helps!
Post # 5
frywedding2015: (Sorry for thread jacking) But I totally understand your envy. LOL. I too live with my fiancee, and we own a business together, so we are at work together as well.
To the OP, I don’t think this is being clingy. I’m giving your SO a little side-eye for this. Like other PP suggested, perhaps he can split up the night.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
After 8 months, aren’t his friends kinda your friends too? Why can’t you all get together and then you two go home together? Win win.
Post # 7
Thank you girls, I appreciate all the answers.
Unfortunately, he can’t split the evening, he is going to some football game with his friends (there are going to be only males). Afterwards, as he leaves early he goes home directly to bed. I must say we do not live together. I do not have a problem with this, it’s just the fact I don’t get to see him for 2 weeks that bothers me.
Post # 8
lolot: His friends are really nice and we get along great, but this is a boys’night out, they are gong to a football game, no girls
Post # 9
dryjules: i get that it makes you sad, my dh is on the other side of the world for 3 weeks with a time difference that makes talking very difficult. He spent his last night before hand with his friends so i get it. Remember though you probably see him more than his friends and they wont see him for a while either. Unless he will be out with them really late like my dh was, make plans to see him later or earlier for supper or something. I know it sucks but he wil contact you while he is away and probably not them, like my dh does.
Post # 10
I understand how you feel. At 8 months, you’re totally crazy smitten and being around someone new is still really intoxicating and energizing.
In the big scheme of things, two weeks flies by though. Especially since it sounds like its a combined time apart, where both of you have mismatched schedules. It happens. Just plan for something intimate and wonderful all day/night together once the two weeks are over!
Post # 11
dryjules: I think how “clingy” or “not clingy” you are is totally dependent on your relationship style. You’ve only been together 8 months, so it’s pretty normal that you’re still figuring this stuff out. Don’t freak out, you guys just need to talk! For example, a friend of mine and her boyfriend would probably consider my relationship to be wayyyy too clingy. Her boyfriend travels maybe half the year (internationally), and when he is in town he works all the time. She doesn’t mind, because she’s also super independent. So that works for them. My guy and I are attached at the hip, I don’t even like to take weekend trips without him. I’d say I hang out with friends without him probably less than once a month. That would be suffocating for some people, but honestly it’s what we both like. Just make your feelings known, tell HIM you don’t want to be clingy, you will work it out. We’ve been together almost 6 years, so we’re sort of past these discussions, but at 8 months this is exactly the kind of stuff you should be working through! Best of luck!
Post # 12
southsun: Thank you, something intimate after these 2 weeks does sound wonderful
Post # 13
dryjules: I’ll be a little sad and disappointed too. But did he tell you that he’ll make it up to you when he gets back? Did he demiss your feelings about wanting to spend time with him? If you felt sincere that he wanted to spend time with you, but he really wanted to spend time with the boys because of this event too and he rarely spends time with them, then I’ll just plan something intimate and romantic when he gets back. If he just told you he’s spending time with the boys with a cold shoulder, then I’ll be a little concern.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I guess it depends on if this is a normal thing for him or not. If they’re going to a game, it could be a sort of special occasion, in which case I’d try not to be too sad. But if this is a choice he makes often, and you aren’t a priority, I’d be more than sad. I’d probably be walking.
Post # 15
Is there a special reason why he’s hanging out with his friends that night? I would let it go if it was a big event for them, but if it’s nothing in particular, maybe he can just leave early and then spend time wiht you. I’d be frustrated too if my SO didn’t want to spend time with me especially if our time was limited.