Am I being too clingy?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t think wanting to spend a single evening together out of 2 weeks of not seeing each other is clingy. I personally would be upset that he’d rather spend an entire evening with friends and not spend even an hour with me, and I would tell him that. 

Post # 4
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

I understand you wanting to see him while you can. Since it will be 2 weeks until you get to see him again. Could you split the night or something? He hangs with his friends earlier and comes to see you after a few hours so he gets time with everyone? I am secretly jealous that you have time away from your SO! I live with my fiancee, work at the same place and crave alone time!!!! I would just tell him you love him and miss him and want some quality time with hiim before you are apart. Make the best of the time he gives you, (I’m being optimistic this will work!) even if it’s only an hour or two. Hope this helps!

Post # 5
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

frywedding2015:  (Sorry for thread jacking) But I totally understand your envy. LOL. I too live with my fiancee, and we own a business together, so we are at work together as well.

To the OP, I don’t think this is being clingy. I’m giving your SO a little side-eye for this. Like other PP suggested, perhaps he can split up the night.

Post # 6
Member
8914 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

After 8 months, aren’t his friends kinda your friends too? Why can’t you all get together and then you two go home together? Win win. 

Post # 9
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

dryjules:  i get that it makes you sad, my dh is on the other side of the world for 3 weeks with a time difference that makes talking very difficult. He spent his last night before hand with his friends so i get it. Remember though you probably see him more than his friends and they wont see him for a while either. Unless he will be out with them really late like my dh was, make plans to see him later or earlier for supper or something. I know it sucks but he wil contact you while he is away and probably not them, like my dh does. 

Post # 10
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

I understand how you feel. At 8 months, you’re totally crazy smitten and being around someone new is still really intoxicating and energizing. 

In the big scheme of things, two weeks flies by though. Especially since it sounds like its a combined time apart, where both of you have mismatched schedules. It happens. Just plan for something intimate and wonderful all day/night together once the two weeks are over!

Post # 11
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

dryjules:  I think how “clingy” or “not clingy” you are is totally dependent on your relationship style. You’ve only been together 8 months, so it’s pretty normal that you’re still figuring this stuff out. Don’t freak out, you guys just need to talk! For example, a friend of mine and her boyfriend would probably consider my relationship to be wayyyy too clingy. Her boyfriend travels maybe half the year (internationally), and when he is in town he works all the time. She doesn’t mind, because she’s also super independent. So that works for them. My guy and I are attached at the hip, I don’t even like to take weekend trips without him. I’d say I hang out with friends without him probably less than once a month. That would be suffocating for some people, but honestly it’s what we both like. Just make your feelings known, tell HIM you don’t want to be clingy, you will work it out. We’ve been together almost 6 years, so we’re sort of past these discussions, but at 8 months this is exactly the kind of stuff you should be working through! Best of luck!

Post # 13
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

dryjules:  I’ll be a little sad and disappointed too. But did he tell you that he’ll make it up to you when he gets back? Did he demiss your feelings about wanting to spend time with him? If you felt sincere that he wanted to spend time with you, but he really wanted to spend time with the boys because of this event too and he rarely spends time with them, then I’ll just plan something intimate and romantic when he gets back. If he just told you he’s spending time with the boys with a cold shoulder, then I’ll be a little concern. 

Post # 14
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I guess it depends on if this is a normal thing for him or not. If they’re going to a game, it could be a sort of special occasion, in which case I’d try not to be too sad. But if this is a choice he makes often, and you aren’t a priority, I’d be more than sad. I’d probably be walking.

Post # 15
Member
6614 posts
Bee Keeper

Is there a special reason why he’s hanging out with his friends that night? I would let it go if it was a big event for them, but if it’s nothing in particular, maybe he can just leave early and then spend time wiht you. I’d be frustrated too if my SO didn’t want to spend time with me especially if our time was limited.

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