Am I being unreasonable?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@hollyberry4:  If something bothers you, it isn’t unreasonable. No one can tell you that your feelings aren’t valid and legitimate. You two share a space, and you should both have a say over what goes on there. They wouldn’t even have room to sleep, so I’m not sure how the logistics would even work. Surely they would be more comfortable in a hotel, even a budget one? If something bothered me enough, I would make it clear to FI and expect him to respect my wishes (which is what I would do for him).


Post # 4
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I understand your concern, but it’s just one night so I really think you should try to let it go. Make sure your FI understands that he needs to be responsible for all the heavy lifting of preparing for the party and cleaning up after.

Post # 5
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If it were just the best man and the MOH, then yeah, I’d say have them stay, but like ten guys? No, that’s too much.

Post # 7
9092 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can kind of see the idea of saving a bit of money on a hotel, but TEN people in a one bedroom apartment sounds like a gong show.  I also think it would be unfair that you have to clean up after it, since we all know that a lot of guy’s version of “not messy” is not really that clean.  If this does go ahead, I’d make it clear to your fiance that cleanup is REALLY all on him.

Post # 8
7055 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hollyberry4:  To me there is something “off” about using your house. The party is meant to be a treat, not a burden. Even if they say they won’t make a mess, they will. Who’s going to wash all the towels afterwards, for a start? I’m with you.

Does none of the other 10 guys live near? Surely there are other options.

Post # 10
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wouldn’t say unreasonable, but I guess it probably wouldn’t bother me too much. My fiance and I will have 4-6 people stay over for a weekend at our 2 bedroom apartment, and really the only big mess it tends to make is there is more garbage than usual. But hey, I usually get chinese food and/or pizza out of it so it has never bothered me too much.

I can understand people not wanting to get hotels because it seems crazy to pay so much just to sleep somewhere for a night. I’m a bit of an oddball but I’d let it go under the stipulation that FI is responsible for cleanup duties.

Post # 12
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable but I do think this is something that you and your FI should be able to figure out yourselves. You should talk about it and come up with an agreement that works for both of you. 

Post # 14
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m glad he wised up and agreed to look for alternate lodging!  I would never in a million years let 10 people, no matter whose friends/family they are, stay in our apartment.  Heck, I hate it when ONE person stays in our apartment.  We only have 1 bedroom / 1 bath, too, and there aren’t even enough places for 10 people to sit, let alone sleep!  I’d go absolutely bonkers.

Post # 15
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Go with the flow and try to loosen up

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