Am I being unreasonable?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@As_You_Wish:  Honestly, I don’t think you are being unreasonable. Being that far along in pregnancy and traveling is very scary for the woman. Men don’t get it! Maybe do an earlier/later Christmas celebration. He needs to understand (which he won’t) that this is your first child and you have a learning experience that you would rather do in your own home and close to your doctors. 

Post # 4
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i wouldnt want to go that far 37 weeks into my pregnancy. in fact i’ve already told my husband that from 35 weeks onwards ill be sticking close to home

for me, travelling 8 hours would be too much (pregnancy isnt that comfortable!) and only having access to a basic hospitla would be a deal breaker

i would tell him to try to apply for holiday the next year and they can see you guys for the baby’s first christmas. id show him this thread…i cant think of anyone who will agree with him

Post # 5
Member
7070 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

Post # 6
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your husband is being unreasonable.  I think he should go visit them, and you stay with your family this year. 

Post # 7
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@As_You_Wish:  I think you are completely justified in feeling the way you do. I too would not be ok with traveling that late in pregnancy. I had my son at 36 weeks 5 days so that would not have worked for me lol. I wouldn’t feel guilty and I think it’s crappy that he’s calling you unreasonable. I also think it’s ridiculous of him to suggest that you bring new baby home to his parents house when you first leave the hospital. Not to mention that you wn’t have your own medical team during the birth. I would dig my heels in on this one. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2000

His parents need to travel to your home. Get your obgyn’s opinion on this

Post # 9
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@As_You_Wish:  I’m quite sure your doctor wouldn’t recommend travelling that far from home. Use your doctor as your reason.

Besides, I am sure your in-laws would rather have you come next year and bring the baby.

Post # 10
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

He is being unreasonable if he can’t understand why a 37 week pregnant woman (pregnant with his baby!) wouldn’t want to travel 8 hours by car to small northern town in the middle of winter…

Post # 11
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@As_You_Wish:  Completely justified.  Its not safe for you to be traveling that distance, nor is it a good situation if you went into labour early. 

Post # 12
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

No, you are not being unreasonable. I think it is unreasonable of him to ask you to travel so far when you are 37 weeks pregnant. If it is important to spend the holidays with his family, they should come to you. And I also disagree with some other posters who said he should go without you. What if you go into labor and he is 8 hours away?? I wouldn’t be okay with that either.

Post # 14
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I personally think that a 37 week pregnant can be as unreasonable as she wants! And you aren’t being that way anyway. Can you compromise and maybe see them at Thanksgiving instead? 

Post # 15
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Aside from the possibility of actually going into labor and having the baby out of town- you’re talking about 8 hours sitting in a car.  There is NO WAY IN HELL I could have done that at 37 weeks.  I can’t imagine the back and sciatic pain I’d have :/

Is there any way they could come to you?

Post # 16
Member
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you’re being totally reasonable. I wouldn’t want to risk going into labor without my own doctor – and a hospital I was comfortable with – close by. I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable to want to avoid the risk that you’d have to give birth in a small, ill-equipped hospital. God forbid something goes wrong, you know? 

It would be a different story if you were going to be like, 30 weeks pregnant, but 37 weeks is getting into “any minute now” territory. I know your husband would be disappointed, but I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. 

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