Post # 1
My three nieces are in my wedding. From the beginning my sister-in-law and brother always said they would pay for their costs. I found my wedding dress and we found the mother-of-the-bride dress. Naturally, I want to now start looking for the flower girl dress and two junior bridesmaids dresses. I asked my sister-in-law what their budget was, that way I can work around it. I said to just give me a range that they’re comfortable with. She told me to get whatever I wanted. She said they already set aside money for the wedding/girls, so I don’t have to worry about the budget. Our wedding is a formal wedding. The men are wearing tuxes, my mom is wearing a floor length sequin dress, and I’m wearing a ball gown. I sent her a link to two different flower girl dresses I was interested in. One was $108. The other was $167. They would have been cheaper, but my niece is really chubby/big for her age, so she wears a dress 2 sizes bigger than the average child her age. I found junior bridesmaids dresses $100 each. In total, the cost for all of the girls will be around $350-$400. I’m already paying for my nieces hair to be done, their shoes, accessories, and my parents are paying for their hotel costs. It’s a destination wedding. My brother will be deployed and not in attendance. My SIL has to stay home with the youngest child. Originally she was going to go (It would have cost her $200 for flights, $1,500 for hotel, $150 hair & makeup, and whatever she would have spent on her dress). So by only paying for the 3 girls, she’s saving a ton. I told her we don’t want gifts, just the girls dresses paid is enough. Now she’s saying the cost for their dresses is too much, but she won’t give me a budget! We are maxed out on our budget, I can’t pay for anything else. My parents are aleady paying extra for their hotel fee because my 3 nieces will be with them, and they’re covering the costs for food, etc. for the girls on the stay. I feel like I’m not being too unreasonable on prices, but what do you think?
Post # 4
I agree that those are expensive dresses, but she told you that they had the money set aside and to get whatever you wanted and now she won’t give you a budget range. So that’s absolutely ridiculous. You should continue to look for cheaper dresses, and say something along the lines of “I don’t want to push your budget so I will absolutely look for less expensive options. However, I would love to know what you are thinking budget-wise so that I can make sure to keep it in that range.”
Post # 2
If she can’t afford it, she can’t afford it. Find something cheaper. People get really cagey and vague when money and budgets come up, so it’s unsurprising that she’s not giving you a clear answer. Should she? Yes. But she’s probably embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about it. A lot of folks are.
Post # 3
I’m with your SIL on this one. $167 for a kid’s dress is a lot. You could go to a department store and get really nice dresses…. to be honest, it doesn’t really matter what they wear. so I think asking them to spend $400 + taxes + alterations on dresses is a lot. If it were me I’d probably pull my kids out of the wedding and not bother sending them.
Post # 5
petalpetal: She told me to get whatever I wanted. She said they already set aside money for the wedding/girls, so I don’t have to worry about the budget.
You were on the right track when you tried to get a range for her budget, but she told you not to worry about that. I get the sense she is uncomfortable talking about money, otherwise she could at least have given you a range.
Despite the fact that you are having a formal wedding, and they have no additional expenses, I too think the dresses you found are exhorbitantly priced for children. Have you looked in the local shops like T J Maxx etc? There should be lots of Easter dresses out right now at really good prices. Another idea would be to check local consignment shops. Kids this age almost always wear these dresses once, so they are iin perfect condition.
Post # 6
Well, I think $100+ for a flower girl dress is ridiculous, but I also think it’s ridiculous she won’t give you a budget. I’d talk to her and try and get her to set a budget. Be clear that you don’t mind looking for cheaper options, you just want to know what range you have to work with. Or perhaps you could ask her if she has any suggestions?
Post # 7
400+ for 3 dresses for children is a bit much. i would reassess, give her new numbers and see what she says. and by new numbers i mean under 250 for all 3.
Post # 8
What we did for my niece was to buy a dress with other events in mind ( like something that could work as an Easter dress or a piano recital or something), and it came from a dept store vs a bridal shop– which cut the price WAY down.
Honestly, with that age group, the formal-ness of it has a lot looser meaning. As long as she is in A dress, with her hair done and a flower basket– people will get the point.