Am I Being Unreasonable?

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 4
442 posts
Helper bee

I agree that those are expensive dresses, but she told you that they had the money set aside and to get whatever you wanted and now she won’t give you a budget range. So that’s absolutely ridiculous. You should continue to look for cheaper dresses, and say something along the lines of “I don’t want to push your budget so I will absolutely look for less expensive options. However, I would love to know what you are thinking budget-wise so that I can make sure to keep it in that range.”

Post # 2
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If she can’t afford it, she can’t afford it. Find something cheaper. People get really cagey and vague when money and budgets come up, so it’s unsurprising that she’s not giving you a clear answer. Should she? Yes. But she’s probably embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about it. A lot of folks are.

Post # 3
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m with your SIL on this one. $167 for a kid’s dress is a lot. You could go to a department store and get really nice dresses…. to be honest, it doesn’t really matter what they wear. so I think asking them to spend $400 + taxes + alterations on dresses is a lot. If it were me I’d probably pull my kids out of the wedding and not bother sending them.

Post # 5
42089 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

petalpetal:  She told me to get whatever I wanted. She said they already set aside money for the wedding/girls, so I don’t have to worry about the budget.

You were on the right track when you tried to get a range for her budget, but she told you not to worry about that. I get the sense she is uncomfortable talking about money, otherwise she could at least have given you a range.

Despite the fact that you are having a formal wedding, and they have no additional expenses, I too think the dresses you found are exhorbitantly priced for children. Have you looked in the local shops like T J Maxx etc? There should be lots of Easter dresses out right now at really good prices. Another idea would be to check local consignment shops. Kids this age almost always wear these dresses once, so they are iin perfect condition.

Post # 6
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, I think $100+ for a flower girl dress is ridiculous, but I also think it’s ridiculous she won’t give you a budget.  I’d talk to her and try and get her to set a budget.  Be clear that you don’t mind looking for cheaper options, you just want to know what range you have to work with.  Or perhaps you could ask her if she has any suggestions?

Post # 7
339 posts
Helper bee

400+ for 3 dresses for children is a bit much. i would reassess, give her new numbers and see what she says. and by new numbers i mean under 250 for all 3.

Post # 8
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

What we did for my niece was to buy a dress with other events in mind ( like something that could work as an Easter dress or a piano recital or something), and it came from a dept store vs a bridal shop– which cut the price WAY down.

Honestly, with that age group, the formal-ness of it has a lot looser meaning. As long as she is in A dress, with her hair done and a flower basket– people will get the point.

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