Post # 1
My Fiance and I got engaged on the 4th of July. At the time we were on a 3 month vacation at our beach home on Amelia Island. We both agreed that we wouldn’tbegin making wedding plans until we got back home and settled in. Naturally as a girl I have dreamt about my wedding day since I was a little girl. When we got home I found all of my old sketches of my dream dress and all of the pictures I cut out back in Jr. High haha.
When we began discussing locations we both agreed that we wanted to have the Wedding near the Ocean. We live in Orange County and the beach is where we go to unwind and relax. We decided on Santa Barbara. We found the perfect spot and were trying to figure out a time when we could drive uyp there to look at it in person and put a deposit down. In October the site was booked and we were left searching for a new venue. In December after 5 months of being engaged we finally set a day to take our first trip up to SB to look at locations. But low and behold my Fiance had a work thing come up and we had to cancel. I am not complaining….I understand that work is very important and this was a HUGE opportunity for us. He eneded up getting the deal which is great since we are paying for the entire wedding on our own.
I started to feel that a SB wedding was a little too much and began looking at locations closer to home. I found one and the date was open. Not to mention it was significantly less expensive and was just what I had always imagined! The venue allows a couple to come in and place a 2 week hold on the date or dates that they are interested in. The hold is free and basically givess you dibs if someone else tries to come in and get that date. I have been trying to get my Fiance to take 2 hours to drive up to LA to look at the site and place the hold on our date but he is always too busy. Whether it is work, or he is tired and wants to relax or “Babe, this is the biggest day in sports!” I hear the last one a lot! He just doesn’t seem to understand that there is somewhat of an importance to securing the date. Did I mention it’s August 7th…..ya….7 months away!!!I should also mention that I tried to go to the venue on my own but he asked that I wait for him. That he really wanted to be there with me…..so I have waited patiently for 6 1/2 months!!!
I called the venue today the Venue to make sure the date is still open….and once again….IT WAS BOOKED THIS MORNING! UGGGGGGGHHHH I feel so defeated and frustrated! I don’t know what to do at this point! There are 2 weekedns still open but it bumps the wedding up an entire month…..and we are already stressed for time as it is! I caled to inform my Fiance that the date was booked and he seemed so supised. He is a very smart guy and owns a successful online Marketing and Overseas Import/Export company….why is it so hard for him to understand that we need to sewcure the date or else it will keep getting booked! Am i being unreasonable? I feel like I have ben overly patient with this whole Wedding Planning process….but I mean what the heck am I supposed to do?
Post # 3
OMG! No way are you being unreasonable! I would have dragged his butt over there if it were me. I originally wanted to get married in Oct and my venue was already booked for that entire month almost 2 years in advance so we had to move up our wedding to September!! So 7 months is nothing. I would strongly suggest that the next time you find a place, book it yourself. Do not wait for him anymore because if you do, you may end up losing another spot. Good luck to you!
Post # 4
If your FI doesn’t seem all that interested in making time to look at venues, dates, etc then just look at it yourself. Take one of your BM with you and go looking and lock it in if you love it! In my mind, he has had plenty of chances to look at it and your only going to get more stressed by doing nothing and waiting for him.
Post # 5
I think guys have a different perspective of timeline and availability when it comes to wedding planning. I can understand why he wants you to wait for him, but at the same time, you need to set a date. Give yourself a little time to cool down and tell him that you are tired of getting your hopes up on different venues and need him to commit to two weekends where you can go do venue hunting. You may have to budge on date, if you find the perfect venue. We ended up pushing back our wedding almost 5 months because the venue we ended up with wasn’t available. That gave us a long 14-month engagement. I was NOT HAPPY about it at the time – but it all worked out in the end.
The best advice I can give you is take a deep breath, be firm with your FI and have him give you concrete times. He has to realize that he’s been pushing it off and you’ve been trying to be patient. I hope you are able to make progress SOON!!!!
Post # 6
@FairytaleEnding:Book your date and when he has time take him by the venue to see it.
Post # 7
I agree that men have no idea what planning a wedding involves. I had my FI out looking at venues with me within 2 weeks of getting engaged. He thought I was nuts,.lol. We booked our venue for a July wedding in mid Oct which is completely normal. I would let your FI know if he wants any input on where you get married then he better go with you or you’ll go alone and book whatever you like.
Post # 8
Generally when someone has to ask that question, they usually are. But in your case, you are being far too patient! I agree with 7-9-11bride menjust don’t know what it takes to get a wedding together. I still remember explaining to my honey that you can’t expect to get engaged and get married within 2 months. (Although I know its been done… I can’t imagine what those brides went through.) Just visit the venues take tons of photos and then decide together one evening. That way you willl both have participated, and you’ll get to get it done on your schedule.
Post # 9
Dealing with people booking weddings everyday, you would be SO surprised at how many people just don’t understand that people book a year in advance on average! I think you need to tell him that either you go alone or he does on the date you pick and that’s that.
Post # 10
Thank you everyone for all of the advice and input! Luckily my Birthday was last Friday and all I asked for was for him to take 1 day off of work to drive up and see the church and Venue. He giggled thinking I was joking but quickly realized that I was being very serious. Sure enough, Friday morning we headed up and took the tour! He FELL IN LOVE with the venue! I could not have hoped for a better reaction from him. We got the venue to place a 2 week hold on the 2 dates we want and will be finalizing everything next week! From here on out I think I may just pick the Vendors and get his opinion….if he has one….before I book them myself 🙂 Haha
Thanks again everyone!