Am I being unreasonable with my wedding date?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5968 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@GABridetoBe:  I think she’s being ridiculous. 9 weeks is more than enough time considering everyone is local and it really won’t affect much. She gets a day to have “the spotlight”. Period. don’t feel bad, you are doing nothing wrong IMO

Post # 4
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@GABridetoBe:  i think she needs to realize that brides only get 1 day, not 1 year.

Post # 5
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That is plenty of time in between weddings. FI’s brother and his wife are due to have a baby on our wedding day…and ours is a DW. So…everyone should get over because it could be worse!

Post # 6
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@GABridetoBe:  2 months is heaps of time. I planned my wedding 3 months after we had a family reunion, 2 months would have worked also in my situation.

She should just see it as a good year for your family to get togeather often, more memories. 

Post # 7
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

She needs to get over herself. 

Post # 8
1492 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Every bride gets one day. Heck, I’ve seen families that have had weddings only 1 week apart and I got married on a weekend when 3 of my other friends all got married as well (we were sad we couldn’t attend each others’ weddings and wished each other well). You made a decision that made sense for you. She is being ridiculous.

Post # 10
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t understand this whole “spotlight” thing.  I’m just over halfway through my year-long engagement and other than some casual questions about how wedding planning is going, I don’t feel like there’s a spotlight on me.  No one is going to want to fuss over your brother and FSIL for a year and a half, and they’re being selfish to think otherwise.  

You have perfectly logical reasons for choosing your date, 9 weeks is more than enough time between the two dates (that’s a difference in seasons if you’re marrying in April and they are in June!) and you aren’t burdening your guests.  This is totally fine.

Let your FSIL have her little pout-fest.  She’ll grow up and get over it.

Post # 11
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013


You aer not being selfish. We aregetting married 3 weeks away from my FI’s sister. 

She was engaged first, but FI and I have been together for longer (3 years vs 1 year)

Our weddings are very different.  Our budget is honestly probably 10x higher

Even still, with all the possibiliteis for “comparisons” no one has made a stink about it! It;s a day, we each get a day (well two including the rehersal dinner) 

don’t worry about it, if people want to be mean that is their problem

Post # 12
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with the othe posts, 9 weeks is more than fine!

SO’s family has a group of 10 cousins all between 23-31, so engagements seem to be popping up a lot right now. His brother has been enaged for sometime, recently at an engagement party for another cousin in their family, the couple being celebrated annouced they were hoping for September of 2015 and SO’s FSIL freaked out at the party saying it’s too close to her “possible” May of 2015 wedding. The dates would be almost FOUR months apart, not to mention that FSIL has changed her date 4 times…

Talk about annoying and the entire family was embarassed by it. 



Post # 13
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You are being completely reasonable. She gets 1 day, as do you.

Post # 14
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

As long as both weddings are local, I don’t see the issue. Maybe if they were both far enough away that people wouldn’t want to travel more than once in that time period…

Post # 15
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

you’re being totally reasonable.  I’m guessing they’re younger and she’s still a little more into the whole ‘all about me’ thing.

9 weeks is tons of time.  Now, if my sister decided she was getting married at the end of February/early March 2014, I might be a little put out for a few weeks, but whatever, I’d get over it (she has been engaged longer – by a year – but they’re not planning on having a wedding, and they’re planning to elope in January or May 2015)

Post # 16
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Maybe its a bigger deal than the spotlight?

Why are you getting married so soon? Did it have to be such a short engagement?

Maybe she questions your relationship with your SO. Was marriage something you and your SO ever discussed to family or did it come out of nowhere? 

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