- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Need to vent…can’t do it on facebook or to him so I bring it to the hive…
So we’re about 40 days out and the big stuff is mostly out of the way (and paid for!) and most of the little stuff is done too. We just found a place to live (Background Info: We’ve been dating for almost 8 years, met when we were 15 & 17 and have never lived together) and it’s time to pick out paint. Me, I have some color ideas in mind based on what we registered for (which he had HUGE say in) so while I was shopping today I picked up some paint samples. OMG, he flipped on me. Got all mad that I left him out and how everything in this wedding has been “my way.” And as I listen to him say all this I just feel the hate (okay, extreme dislike) for him growing inside me. WE’RE GETTING MARRIED IN 40 DAYS! I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO HATE HIM!
Now to defend myself, I’ve asked him about every detail of the wedding. He approved and disapproved of somethings and he also through in his two cents which often was better than mine. Then there’s somethings he said “I don’t care” about so I went with “my way.” I guess my perspective of wedding details that have been “my way” are very different then his.
I’m realizing this vent is rambling but I’m feeling super stressed but I just don’t care. Arent’ I supposed to be excited or something? Nope, I don’t care. At this point I don’t care if we pull this thing off. And I’m really hating that we picked September, especially since I’m starting a new teaching job in August. Am I an idiot?! Yes, Yes I am. I wanted July so I wouldn’t run into this problem but he wanted “more time to save money”. In hindsight I’m glad we waited but looking ahead, I have a feeling the next couple weeks are going to be a nightmare.
What’s my deal? Why do I not give a damn about this wedding? And why do I feel like I hate his freaking guts right now? Am I the only one who’s ever felt this way?