Post # 1
Ok ladies, I need some opinions. I have mixed feelings and I’m not sure if I am in the wrong, so please let me know what you think (be honest, I can handle it) Thank you!
Here’s the back story….
So here I am 40 days away from my wedding. Granted this is not my first marriage (3rd actually, but 2nd actual wedding, the other was a court-house marriage), but either way, this is my 1st marriage to the man of my dreams so it’s kinda a big deal to me (as I feel it should be). My FI and I wanted a small wedding, and were not even going to have people stand up with us, but my daughter and my cousin/best friend insisted that they be in the wedding. FI and I discussed it, and agreed to it.
So here’s my issue….
My cousin hasn’t bothered to make the time to shop for her dress … did I mention we’re barely a month away. So after stewing about this for the last month or so, I decided to just buy the dress for her. My daughter and I went shopping this weekend, found the perfect dress that I wanted, and I just bought my cousins for her. The dresses were on clearance, and I didn’t want to wait and risk them not being there whenever my cousin finally decided to make time to shop.
So my question(s) ….
Was I wrong for buying the dress without her being there? Should she have been there to have some input? Mind you, I sent her a picture of the dress and she’s not a big fan of it. I’m taking it to her house this weekend so she can try it on. If she hates it, do I let her pick out something different?
I guess I just feel like if she wanted to have some input, she should have made the time to shop. Your thoughts please! I’m feeling a little bad, and not sure what to do about this. Thank you everyone!
Post # 3
Listen– a month out from your wedding, and someone who insisted they’d be in the wedding hasn’t bothered to pick a dress? I would’ve presed DELETE DELETE DELETE on here as a Bridesmaaid many months ago. I think you’re fine. It obviously wasn’t that important to her.
Post # 4
I agree with the PP, BUT if you didn’t want BM’s to begin with, would it be a big deal to let her wear something different if she doesn’t like it? It doesn’t sounds like you had a vision of BM’s in matching pink taffeta or anything.
Post # 5
OK, if *you’re* being a bridezilla, then I must be the Evil Most Supreme B*tch Bridezilla From Hades! Because like the poster above, I would have just written her off when she couldn’t make time to pick out a dress. (I mean, when I was a bridesmaid, I was TOLD what I was going to wear, so she was already pretty lucky!) You went to the trouble to choose something you liked for your wedding–it IS your wedding, remember–so she can wear it graciously and be happy for you, or not be in the wedding.
Post # 6
I think you’re fine on this one
Post # 8
Nope, I think you have incredible patience actually!
Post # 9
@burger26: Nope, no bridezilla here!
Post # 10
@MsGinkgo: I didn’t really have an image of what I wanted the girls to wear (it’s not a traditional wedding, with traditional bridesmaid dress). But when I saw this dress, I knew it was perfect. The dress I picked out has print on it, so if I were to let her choose something different, it would be extremely difficult to find something that would look good with the dress (my daughter loves it) so I feel like I would have to have them both wear something different. And at that point, I feel like it’s my wedding, and why should the one that hasn’t done anything to help me with the wedding planning get to dictate what they both wear. Ugh, I should have eloped hahaha
Post # 11
@burger26: No you are not a bridezilla. She should have had her dress months ago. And a month out, she should thank you for doing this for her. And if she doesn’t like the dress too bad. If she would have done it herself, she wouldn’t be in the position she is in. There is not very much time left for her to dink around a find a dress “she likes”.
Post # 12
Email I just got from FI when I told him I was asking your opinions on the subject … I just love this man!
“I really don’t think she has the rite to get pissed and if she does I will make sure I inform her of the facts in this situation and how she is the one who dropped the ball and if she really doesn’t like the dress then she doesn’t have to be in the wedding and then she can wear whatever she wants”
Post # 13
@burger26: If she’s allowed to pick any dress off the rack, yeah, you should have let her do her own shopping. I mean seriously, this is your cousin so I’m sure she knows this is your third marriage, she probably doesn’t see this as a hurry up moment.
Post # 14
@burger26: I like your FI answer and you are not being a bridezilla. My cousin just told me a few minutes ago she was in my wedding, I ignored what she said. I will address this afternoon when i feel like hearing her whine.
Post # 15
@burger26: She insisted on being in your wedding and then showed no interest in doing any of the required activties, i.e. choosing a dress. I wouldn’t have had her in the wedding at all, so if anything you are being gracious as opposed to a bridezilla.
Post # 16
@DJones69: If I were to let her choose something else, how long do I wait for that to happen? I hate confrontation, and certainly don’t want her to be mad at me for the next 40 days because she has to wear a dress she doesn’t like, but at the same time, the longer she goes without getting a dress, the longer I am stressed. My FI and I are doing everything for this wedding ourselves (I’m even baking my own cake). I have enough stress and don’t want to have stress over what the girls are going to wear. I was trying to eliminate that stress by buying the dresses this weekend, but now I’m just stressed over whether or not that was the right thing to do.