Post # 1
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and do not live together. We usually see each other once during the week and over the entire weekend. I’ve met his friends, he’s met my parents, we all get along. I texted him to ask what he was doing later tonight (out of curiosity) and he said that he was going to a charity event that a friend of his from college helped to organzie. Something about teaching kids in the Bronx tennis (bc that’s what they really need.)
Now, I’ve had a particularly bad day at work dealing with a nasty client so I’m already coming from a place of negativity. I asked if there was a reason I didn’t get invited to this. He didn’t think to tell me about it bc he thought it would be boring and it was expensive ($60!) I love getting dressed up and going out, and I don’t think charity events are necessarily boring. He didn’t even give me the option of dressing up and going with him.
It would only make sense if this girl organizing the event was an ex or if he slept with her at school. At least not wanting that awkward situation would be logical. I haven’t asked, but I think it’s more likely he thinks it’s normal to go to events by himself.
Am I crazy for being bothered by this? This just seems like an obvious “couples” thing to do.
Post # 2
…if he doesn’t enjoy that sort of event and he isn’t kinda metro or a crossdresser, he probably doesn’t realize the appeal to getting all dressed up?
Post # 3
My husband goes to things without me regularly- some work related, some alumni events. I also don’t invite him to some things I go to. But we are not an attached at the hip couple.
Post # 4
princesslettuce14: Yes, he should have invited you. It’s a social event, the type of event where people would usually bring their partners, and you’re his gf.
It’s hard to tell though if there’s something fishy, or he’s just being a bit thick 🙂
Post # 5
It sounds like he didn’t consider that you may want to go and I wouldn’t read too much into it. Sometimes my husband does work things without me (and vice versa). It is healthy as long as it is not all the time. Unless this is a pattern, I would let this one go.
Post # 6
There’s no right or wrong with things like this, it just depends what works for you as a couple. You should talk to him about your expectation that you be invited to these types of events. But be prepared in case he doesn’t feel the same way, not everyone does.
Post # 7
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
princesslettuce14: My ex was like this. He always managed to make me feel clingy and, funny enough, he always went to charity events in the Bronx and never invited me. This bitch that he ended up cheating on me with organized everything….so now I know why. I’m NOT saying he’s cheating on you.
He also managed to not invite me to his own brother’s wedding even though he was given a +1 (????????)
Bottom line – he was a dick that was happy to lead me on for a good 2 years and I was an idiot for staying with a guy that repeatedly showed me he wasn’t that into me. Maybe your guy is a doofus or maybe you need to have chat with him and tell him you want to be in a serious relationship.
Post # 8
princesslettuce14: Maybe he plans to just stop by to show face and doesn’t want to hang there all night? Or maybe he does these things a few times a year and doesn’t think to invite someone?
Besides that, it doesn’t seem like you even support the charity so why do you care? There are many groups that try to get children invested in some sport or club to keep them from doing other things. It’s a good thing and very often can be very beneficial to these children and their families.
Post # 9
Not necessarily clingy. Perhaps you just have different ideas re the status of your relationship. You think you should do everything together. He doesn’t.
Post # 10
Kir32: I completely agree, I’m only being snarky bc I know these college friends of his and they only run it because it’s sponsored by the investment bank they work for. Makes everyone look good (nothing really wrong with that.)
aussiemum1248: I think he’s thick. He’s sort of a homebody, so I don’t imagine he’s having fun. It just hurts that he gets to be bored at an open bar while I have to be bored in my pjs.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
I work in public health and have helped throw a lot of charity events. They aren’t necessarily all for couples, or all requiring dress up.
Maybe he just isn’t ready for the big public unveiling of you as his very serious girlfriend? It’s still early in the relationship.
Post # 12
rachel85: I don’t know, I made a post a couple months back bc he invited me to a family wedding in Mexico after 2 months of dating (that was too soon for me.) And I’m having dinner with his parents this Sat. night. We’re also doing a wedding in November.
I’m just sort of feeling that he’s got an old college gf at this thing he isn’t telling me about. Which is fine.
Post # 13
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
rachel85: If it was under 6 months, maybe but 8 months?
Everyone is different but if a guy still wants to keep a chick under wraps at 8 months…something is up.
Post # 14
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
princesslettuce14: Oh well…..if you’ve turned him down to be his date at a family wedding then he’s probably cautious about it. You kind of dug your own hole on that one.
If he’s over the age of 25 I think he should be mature enough to have you and an ex in the same room.
Post # 15
I understand being bothered….I don’t understand why it automatically has to be because of another woman?