Post # 1
Ok…I really need to know if I am being crazy or unreasonable. This whole wedding planning process has been a long road with lots of road bumps, so maybe I’m just not seeing clearly. My mom bought her mother of the bride dress in August. She picked a color called “pewter” so that my future mother in law would have plenty of options as far as color went. She also purposely picked the dress early so that Future Mother-In-Law would have plenty of time to pick a dress. I sent my Future Mother-In-Law a picture of the dress my mom had picked so that they wouldn’t end up with the same dress or anything. But other than that, I told her to go crazy. Yellow, purple, pink, whatever. I truly didn’t care what it looked like, as long as it wasn’t the same dress my mother picked.
Well…I saw FMIL’s dress for the first time this weekend. Hers is on the left in the picture and my mom’s is on the right. Mom’s is pewter, and FMIL’s is a dark navy blue. They are both irridescent taffeta. Is it just me or do these look REALLY similar? When she first brought it out I honestly thought it was the same dress because I hadn’t looked at my mom’s in a while. The only real difference in the dresses is that mom’s has a tiny amount of beading at the bustline, and FMIL’s doesn’t. If it were like super sparkly beading then maybe it wouldn’t be as bad, but the beading is just not that noticeable in person. And what kills me is that my mom acted really sad and deflated when she saw the two dresses side by side. She really LOVED her dress and felt like it was just made for her, and it made her feel really special. Now she’s sad that the other mother will be pretty much wearing it too.
I’ve offered to buy Future Mother-In-Law a new dress, and I also told her that maybe even a new jacket would change the look so that they don’t look SO similar. She doesn’t seem happy at all, and now I feel like they all think I’m some crazy bridezilla. I don’t know what to do…
Post # 3
I think offering to buy her a new dress or getting her to accessorize it is a good idea, but I think it is certainly a bit strange of your Future Mother-In-Law to buy the SAME dress as your mother.
Maybe you can get your Fiance to talk to his mom about how the dress similarity makes your mother feel? Perhaps he could change her mind.
Post # 4
Wow. They are pretty much the same dress. I can’t believe your Future Mother-In-Law did that! I would suggest that you have Fiance step in and talk to his mom. Then it’s not like you’re the only one with the issue.
Post # 5
Your not crazy they are almost identical esp when your fmil’s is in navy blue. I would ask your fi to have a very strong word with his mother.
Post # 6
Thats not cool…She should pick a different dress…
Post # 7
Not crazy or unreasonable, that is the same dress. That’s not fair of your Future Mother-In-Law to do that. I think having your Fiance talk to her is a great idea. Why would she want to wear the same dress as your Mom anyways… most ppl fear wearing the same dress. 🙁
Post # 8
Wow, your Future Mother-In-Law is rudde to even buy a dress that looks similar, let alone identical. I know its not your mom’s wedding or anything, but you sent her a picture clearly telling her not to buy a dress that is similar. She should have been respectful of that. You need to have your Fiance talk with her (there’s nothing that breaks a mother down that her son upset with her lol) so that she could maybe compromise. Good luck!
Post # 9
have you asked WHY your Future Mother-In-Law bought that dress? Maybe this dress style fit her best too? It kinda sucks that they’re so similar…but perhaps you can buy her some sort of accessories to differentiate it.
Post # 10
you are not crazy. your Future Mother-In-Law picked the exact dress. She needs to get a different dress…
Post # 11
I guess I’m the only one who wouldn’t care, but your moms are pretty much never going to be standing next to eachother at the wedding and as a guest I would never even notice.
Post # 12
holy crap that’s the same dress! sheesh! your mom has a right to be peeved because she sent the picture to prevent this very scenario from happening! 🙁 i think the easiest thing would be a new jacket, but i agree with a pp that said to get your Fiance to talk to her… maybe there’s a reason? if all else fails and she won’t budge, maybe you and your mom could go out re-shopping together? use it as an excuse for more mom/daughter bonding time?
Post # 13
I second the suggestions of having your Fiance talk to his mom. You are not crazy! Haha, when I first started reading your post I skimmed through and thought your complaint was that the colors were too similar. I was about to say that isn’t a big deal…till I saw the pictures! They are definitely very, very similar. I think if your Future Mother-In-Law wore a different jacket with the dress, that would help. But, why did she do it? She knew what your mom’s dress looked like, and still picked one very similar. It might have been a mistake. If it was done on purpose, though, your Fiance might need to have a serious talk with her.
Is there any way either of them can return the dress, or at least exchange it for another? If Future Mother-In-Law won’t budget, I like anotheroneofmany’s suggestion to go shopping again with mom.
Post # 14
oh they are more than similar!!! I think you need to get Fiance in on this and get your Future Mother-In-Law to change her dress.. she bought hers second.. if your mum had of bought hers second you would naturally make her change it.. not the other way around.. i dont htink your mum should have to worry about this.. it isnt her mistake!!! and you are not being bridezilla at all!! this is horrible!! how could she do this knowing already that your mum has bought this dress!!!
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I can see why your Mom would feel upset, but in the scheme of things it is not a big deal. Choose your battles. Is this really one that needs to be fought?
Post # 16
Wow… I’m glad I don’t have this problem. Your mom is totally justified in being upset. Why would your Future Mother-In-Law do that? Yikes!