Post # 1
I sort of feel insane here. I’m 24, almost 25, and I just moved in with my fiance from my parents’ house. I moved out of my parents’ house at 18 for college, but moved back for three years after graduation. I am struggling with the transition, knowing that I’ll never live in their house again and see my dog when I wake up, etc. It makes me incredibly sad to know that I’ll never be there again. I should say I’m also not very good with change.
The craziest part is that I live 2 minutes away from them…literally .5 miles away. I just look at my friends and they mostly live far away from their parents (states away), and they seem to be doing fine. I just didn’t expect this to be this hard, especially since going away to college was much easier for me. Any advice?
Post # 3
@crocodilerock: I’m still living at home, I’m 22. When I think about getting married next year, I do feel sad about leaving. i’m the oldest of 5, so I think I’ll miss the background noise of whiny kids and always being needed for something. I think it’s okay to be sad, but now you’re starting a life with your new family! You can always visit, and when your parents get on your nerves about something, you will remember you don’t have to suck it up and throw yourself on your bed.. You can drive home 🙂 lol.
Post # 4
@Girasole: That’s a good point. My mom and I definitely butt heads on a lot of things, but for some reason it’s hard to remember those things now. I’m sure they will start to frustrate me again and I can just leave. lol!
Post # 5
Man.. I couldn’t wait to get out! I moved out at 24 with my (then) boyfriend and moved 1,200 miles away. Moreso out of necessity, but that’s not really the point.
I was happy to spread my wings.
Post # 6
I can completely relate to this. You are NOT crazy! I moved out in November- FI and I bought a house in May and had some work to do to it before moving in. I was secretly loving that it was taking a little longer- then moving day came and I was quite sad. I cried uncontrollably the first night, hyperventilating crying!! lol sounds so silly, but like you, I also do not like change! I also moved about 5 miles away…we’re still in the same town!! lol
For the first few months even when we went to visit and it was time to leave I would tear up and get sad. BUT it’s a happy/sad. It’s just a new chapter and you will see that with time you will start to enjoy it. It’s fun having your own routine with your FI- just give it some time and it will start to feel “normal”.
The first week I kept thinking -thank GOD I am not getting married and moving out at the same time (I gave myself over a year! ha!) because I would have been an emotional wreck!!! My mom did the wedding and moving out at the same time and she said she cried throughout her wedding and her honeymoon! lol. My dad kept thinking he did something wrong. It’s just something that hits each of us differently.
🙂 Everything will be OK..it’s a new chapter..it will be fun!
Post # 7
You are not crazy at all!! I felt the same way, I couldn’t get out fast enough to go to college, but I had moved home again after graduation. I felt sad when I was moving out again, I think it’s because your relationship has changed with your parents too. I know I went from knowing everything to finally appreciating my parents. It’s supposed to happen, you moving out and they are close so you can always pop over. It will get easier!
Post # 8
I felt the SAME way. I was so happy to be moving in with DH in our house, but I still felt sad about leaving my family’s home. One of the big things I was sad about was all the moments we had together like in the morning or at night and especially seeing our pets first thing in the morning! Once I lived in our new house for awhile and it started to feel like “home” those sad feelings went away. I think the problem is that in your head you still view your parent’s house as home.. once you start to feel “at home” in your new house, you’ll feel better. I hope that makes sense!
Post # 9
@Razzmatazz: I had the same thought about the wedding and moving at the same time. It would be a disaster, so we decided to move with about seven months left. I think what’s making it harder is that my mom is very old-fashioned and she’s not happy that I’m “living in sin” lol.
Thank you everybody for sharing your experiences. I’m so glad to know that I am not alone. I’ve also been thinking that, since I’m getting older, so are my parents. That makes me sad.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2014 - Savannah, GA
I’m in the same boat! I moved out for college and was perfectly fine being away from my parents. I moved back in with them for a few years after college. Last month I moved in with my fiance and it was really really hard to leave, because I knew it would probably be the last time I actually live in the home I grew up in. My sister got married a couple years ago and it makes me sad to think about my parents with an empty house. I was also very sad to leave the pets I’ve grown up with and not having my cats hop in bed with me in the middle of the night or my dog sleeping beside my bed. What makes it worse is that I moved 5 hours away so I can’t just stop by and visit whenever I want.
The sad feelings have mostly gone away now that our new city and apartment are feeling like home, I just need to stop thinking about it I guess. I’m very thankful for my supportive and loving fiance for helping me with the adjustment.
Post # 11
@crocodilerock: Totally normal. It’ll take some time to adjust, but I think the pros will outweigh the cons. Lucky they live close by!
It is weird going back… like it’s so familiar but it’s not your home anymore technically.
You will adjust, though.
Post # 12
It’s totally normal! It’s a huge transition, and it’s perfecly ok to mourn the loss of a long established “normal”, even when you know the new one is going to amazing. Just remind yourself that they’re still there for you, put up pictures of your family and your dog in your new place, and think about all the awesome new memories you’re going to make in this new life!
Post # 13
Not crazy at all. It’s a big transition and it’s permanent. When you left for college you knew that you could possibly come back. I didn’t have the same experience as you re: my parents’ home but I remember feeling so sad when we moved into our house from the condo we lived in before. I had purchased it while I was single and I just felt such a sadness and loss of that part of my life. We were already living together in the condo, mind you, so it really caught me by surprise. I think it’s just the permanence of the transition that got to me. I’m fine and you will be too.
Post # 14
@crocodilerock: NOPE! You aren’t crazy at all. When FI and I moved out together we moved one county over, about 30-40 min away from our families. I missed them like crazy and felt silly for it being so hard. Now it stings that we are in different states. Focus on the good things keep that this is 100% normal if you are close with your family and because of what it represents and be glad they are so close and there can be lots of visits 😀
Post # 15
You guys made me feel so much better that I’m not alone, and that I’m lucky enough to live close to my family. Thank you everyone!
Post # 16
You are normal! I am sitting here the night before my wedding sad because its my last night home (as excited as I am to start my life with my fiance). I like you, moved away at 18 for college but I was one of those kids that came home every other weekend because I am SUPER close with my parents. I have now been living at home for almost 2 years since graduating while getting my masters degree online. I have loved being back home, visiting my family everyday, getting home cooked meals, all the things I do with my parents (shopping with mom, lunches out with dad) and I am also not good with change so I know that is some of it.
I have so many wonderful memories in this house and room. We are only moving about 20 minutes down the road (same county and everything but opposite ends of the county… still not far) but its just weird knowing this won’t be my room or house anymore. Its sad!! (Although my fiance has to travel SOME.. not a lot and I plan to stay with my parents when he is gone.. at least until we get a new place because our place now is in the middle of NO WHERE). But I understand.