Am I crazy to want an apology?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah I think that expecting an apology and actually spendig time being po’d over it is a waste of your time. I mean, it was totally rude, but really, it’s over and done and you should let this go. 

Post # 4
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

@sarals24:  He’s a bit of a douche for not saying ‘sorry’ but really..it’s not a huge deal and I would just let it go.  He’s got bigger things on his mind than that and has likely forgotten about it.

Post # 5
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@sarals24:  You aren’t wrong to be annoyed, but it’s not serving you.  He’s rude and not self aware.  That’s not your fault, so don’t make it your problem.  

Just try to let it go.

Post # 6
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ugh! And this is why I was over the moon when I found out my wedding venue didn’t have cell service! Haha!

If I were you I would just try to let it go. I bet he isn’t even thinking about it, so he isn’t thinking about apologizing.

If it really bugs you maybe have DH say “You know,@sarals24:  was really unhappy about yoru phone going off, would you mind letting her know you were sorry about that?”

IDK,… I would really just try to let it go though.

Post # 7
Member
6747 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

That he is “bipolar”is a crap excuse.

Post # 8
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

He definitely should have apologized immediately, but at this point you need to let it go.  Unless he has Asperger’s or some other mental health issue related to social situations, he definitely knows it was not good that his cell phone went off, but the bipolar could explain why he didn’t have the proper reaction to you after if happened.

In the grand scheme of things, a cell phone going off at a wedding is not a huge deal.  I understand wanting the apology, but let this one go.

Post # 9
Member
13012 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MsJ2theZ:  +1. 

So what if you forced an insincere ‘sorry’ out of him at this point anyways?  He apparently doesn’t realize or care that what he did was rude and inappropriate.  An apology means nothing from him so whats the point of getting one. 

Post # 10
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Perhaps he hasn’t realized that this was a big deal to you – he may have thought it was a funny moment and not something worthy of apologizing over. At the same time he may have been a little embarrassed and was trying to laugh it off and didn’t want to bring it up again by apologizing.

I would certainly have your DH talk to him about it and just mention how you are feeling about it and that it would be nice for him to apologize. I would just try to remember that him apologizing isn’t going to fix anything at all and you are still going to be annoyed with him!

You have every right to be annoyed with him because he didn’t have that much to remember to do before the wedding began – such as turn off the phone!

Post # 11
Member
6030 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If he hasn’t apologized yet, he’s not going to. Having your husband talk to him is only going to throw fuel to the fire. Since the relationship is already strained, you should just accept that it happened and he isn’t going to apologize (which may not automatically mean he’s not sorry— just that you’re not going to hear it), and move on. 

Not saying that you’re not right to be annoyed— just saying that refusing to let it go is not going to help anyone, and in life, you need to learn how to pick your battles. this isn’t one i would pick.

Post # 12
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’d just let it go. I bet it hasn’t even crossed his mind since your wedding. I would not hold out for an apology.

Honestly what’s done is done, he acted like a jerk… but there are more important things to worry about. Hopefully he will get his life in order and then he will start acting nicer.

Post # 13
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

The bipolar is a BS excuse (Bipolar and other disorders of the sort don’t mean you lose all common sense and manners).

But you should just drop this one – it’s not worth it to stay upset.

I know, easier said than done.
But you will NEVER get the response and closure you want by rehashing this.

Post # 14
Member
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

He sounds like an ass that is not worthy of your anxiety.

Post # 15
Member
536 posts
Busy bee

You’re not crazy to want an apology.  You are crazy if you wait for one though, because it sounds like there is a 0% chance of that happening.

Post # 16
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You aren’t crazy to *want* an apology.

But you aren’t going to get one.  He’s not sorry.  He thinks it’s funny.  He has honestly probably forgotten that it even happened!

When you look back on your wedding day, do you remember how handsome your husband looked, how joyful it was to say your vows, how great the cake tasted?  Or do you remember 3 seconds when someone’s phone started going off?

C’mon, hon…don’t let this one tiny blip get to you.  Yes, the brother was rude.  But he isn’t sorry and he won’t apologize.  Time to take a deep breath and forgive.  And when you get your wedding pics back (if you haven’t already), be sure to look through them and see how HAPPY you were that day.  Replace this negative memory with positive ones!

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