Post # 1
I just want to know if you think we are doing the right thing in continuing with our wedding. Our wedding is in in Bali so a destination wedding on the 6th of April this year. We have 67 people coming who have all booked their flights but no one has to pay for accomodaton until they get to Bali.
My father passed away 5 weeks ago so my mother is devastated as would be expected and the rest of us in the family are also trying to come to terms with him not being here anymore. We are an extremely close family to the point some of my friends have commented its unnatural in the past (in a joking way of course) But my father left the family business in a bad way due to not being able to focus on it properly in the last stages of his cancer. My mother, sister and brother in law who are involved are extremely stressed with the situation, night need to close the business and also money is now very tight for them. I am feeling extremely guilty expecting them to focus on the wedding (my sister is also a bridesmaid) as well as the finacial committment of coming to Bali. They do all say I’m being silly and its something for them to all look forwad to but I still worry.
Now today my other bridesmaid has called to say she is seperating and divorcing her husband immediately so has cancelled his ticket to Bali of course as well as her children (she will just now come up for the four days of the wedding instead of her holiday) So I’m feeling even worse for her coming to the wedding when she is looking at selling her house and sorting out her divorce etc She says that there is no way she is not coming but again I’m feeling terrible about her situation and the wedding.
I guess due to grief I’m finding it really hard to be excited or enthusiastic about our wedding, it just feels like I’m organising an event for work!
I’m probably just having a week but don’t want to bug everyone since they are all going through such tough and stressful situations as well! My Fiance is great and thinks I’m silly for even thinking of all of this but he’s not the best at emotional things. Sorry if I sound mad just wanted to see if you thought it was still a good thing to go ahead with the wedding.
Post # 3
If everyone has paid for tickets, I would definitely still go ahead with it. As your family has said, it’s something to look forward to, and bali is superrrr cheap, so really they’ve probably paid for the most expensive part already.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Post # 4
@Lovemelovemyhorses: thank you, yes the most expensive part is probably the flights so the rest is always cheap in Bali
Post # 5
The wedding will give them something to smile about. If they say it is fine, then don’t worry..It will be a beautiful family holiday which everyone will enjoy x
Post # 6
My dad is ill with cancer (well in remission at the mo but it will, indefinately come back at ‘some point’ we know that much). I live in constant fear of my dad dying and not making it to the wedding, but I know it is one of the major things he wants from me (last year before we were engaged and he was really ill he’d be all like ‘I’m going to phone up _____ and force him to marry you. I just want to see you settled’). My friend lost her dad a few months before her wedding and went ahead with it, I do think that – although difficult – it woudl be a great way to honour him x
Post # 7
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would go ahead as planned, gives the family a chance to have a happy moment, which would be a nice break from the sadness.
Post # 8
I think you should go ahead as planned. It will be a happy time for everyone.
Post # 9
The trip sounds like a great idea. All your family together for something happy. My brother passed away two weeks before my other brother’s wedding, and I can honestly say that wedding was a much needed celebration. The same people we saw two weeks before for a funeral were with us celebrating a wonderful event. Take a breath… it will all work out!
Post # 10
I am so sorry for your loss, and for your family’s difficulties, the breakup of the friend’s marriage, etc. What a tough time for all of you to be going through.
As the PPs have said, since the plane tickets are probably already bought, and the costs won’t be that high once they arrive, it’s probably best to keep the plans and look at it as an opportunity for your family to celebrate life and renewal even in the shadow of death. Your father will be there in spirit. I’m sure, too, that he would want you all to have a lovely time.
Post # 11
I would go ahead with it. If some people can’t make it, it’ll be disappointing. But your wedding day should/will still be special, even if it turns out just the two of you.
Post # 12
thank you Bees for your support and guidence – much appreciated and you have made me see that going ahead with the wedding is the right thing to do (my head isn’t always the best place for rational debates!)