Am I doing too much?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Hisbride2015:  do what is going to make you and your FI happy. It’s not fair of other people to try and tell you what to do with your money. You can tell them, “thanks for the advice but FI and I have decided this is what we want.”

Post # 3
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

Hisbride2015:  it’s your wedding, and your money, not theirs. Do what you want. I wouldn’t go into debt over it, but if you have the money it’s yours to spend as you wish. 

Post # 4
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

Hisbride2015:  I was 36 by the time we married. DO WHAT YOU WANT. How do we not deserve it as much as a 26 year old?

Post # 5
Member
4797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hisbride2015:  Well, on the one hand I do believe too much money is spent on weddings. Like, why couldn’t someone put multiple thousands towards a dog shelter that is in dire need? (I happen to know of one)

BUT, truly I’d support them if that’s what they want and so should your friends and family, IMHO. It’s your choice and I really feel people should be happy for you!! Why are people so free wheeling with their negative opinions these days? Where’d the respect go?

Just my 2 cents.

Post # 6
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hisbride2015:  It’s your money, do what you want. As an older lady, I get very annoyed at this sort of ageism. Your MOH in particular should shut up – it’s not her business.

I do have a little sympathy for you daughter because, unlike your MOH and everyone else, it is partly her business. I have kids around her age; and I believe that providing for college, if possible, is an important part of parenting. But by the same token, your daughter can’t demand that – it’s up to you.

Post # 7
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - The Old Courthouse in Cleveland

You are entitled to whatever wedding you and your fiancé want! There is no reason why a 35 year old couple (or 85 year old couple, for that matter!!) cannot have the wedding of their dreams. Those people have no business telling you what to do with your money. 

As for your daughter, I can see her frustration to an extent. But even so, it is not your responsibility to pay for her college. If you so choose to, that would be excellent. It is, however, your responsibility to care for her well-being. If that base is covered, which I assume it is, then do exactly what you want with your money! I’m sure more money has gone to your kids over the span of their lives than will go into your wedding… no matter how much you pay for your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
5272 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Have the wedding you want and enjoy every minute of it!

Post # 9
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’ll be 31, and my FI will be 37 at the wedding. And we’re having a 200 person wedding. Who cares about age? Do whatever you want. 

Post # 10
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

As people have said, it’s your money! Part of the joy of paying for your own wedding is that you (and your FI) are the ony one that gets to have an opinion! Your daughter will understand when it’s her turn to get married and she’s the one paying for it, and tell her that since you’re spending your money on your wedding then she’d better do well in school so she can get scholarships!!

Also, you’re still below the average in terms of wedding costs, so that might make you feel better.

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