(Closed) Am I driving myself crazy???

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
219 posts
Helper bee

Smile Yes I am smiling while typing your post because I totally think you are driving yourself crazy. Let me start by saying Welcome to the Club;The Waiting Club, that is. While reading your story it is evident that you are ready to get married.. “I don’t even care if we pay for the ring together and in fact I have $ stashed away for a ring”.  I am sure that your guy doesn’t want you to go out and by yourself a ring but you can let him know that you don’t have to have an extravagant affair, just a simple intimate wedding. Just see how he response to that!

To answer your question, I personally would say it’s okay to look at blogs for inspiration and to get ideas but I need a ring first just so I can go on with the planning process. I would really think I was loco if I planned a wedding without a ring or a “fiance”.

This is funny that I am giving advice because I am constantly thinking that I am in the process of going crazy and loosing my mind because I am waiting on my BF to give me the ring! Waiting is clearly no fun!

Good Luck

Post # 4
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

First off: B-R-E-A-T-H-E

I was dating my fiance for 3 years and 2 months when he proposed.  I’m also 36 and will be 38 when we get married.  This is what happened…since December 2008 until March 2009 we went away 3 times.  Each time I thought that perhaps he might propose and each time he didn’t…I was disappointed.  So I banished it from my mind because in May 2009 we went away again and it happened and I was so surprised and happy.

Personally, I don’t know if putting a ‘cut-off’ date is the right thing to do.  Your stressing yourself out.  If you and he both talked about it and know that you both want it, it will happen.  You can’t really control that.

My family was bugging me like crazy for months and I was just like, I am not pressuring him.  He’ll propose when he’s ready. 

And money will always be something to talk about.  Just set a budget and move forward.

I think to begin planning your wedding before there is a proposal is like putting the cart before the horse.  There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want, but relax.  It will happen.

Post # 5
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

as chaotic bliss said… welcome to the club! 🙂 I am struggling with the same issue. I know it’s coming, although I believe the proposal will be in 2-6 months. Given that, what do I do? Nothing? Not very easy!! I keep thinking I need to go cold turkey on weddingbee because reading about all this stuff only makes me more anxious and excited. But on the other hand I think… why not get some research done so if we decide to a do a short engagement I already have ideas?

Really only you can answer the question of how crazy you’re driving yourself by looking at this stuff now. For me, I am letting myself read blogs/wedding bee and take notes on stuff, but no real decisions or planning will happen until there is a ring on this finger!

Post # 6
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I feel you; I am in the exact same boat. I justify my weddingbee obsession as “being prepapred”. I’m just being proactive! Yeah…it makes me feel better.

One of these days it will happen and when it does he will be presented with a giant binder of ideas. I figure that’s only fair considering the torture I’m being put thru Wink!

Post # 8
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with gathering ideas. I’m doing the exact same thing and actually see it as a positive. I don’t know about you, but I’m not the type of person who can just be thrown into situations- I plan and plan and plan. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that and neither should you!! It’s just so frustrating to have everything set and have to just sit here and wait…

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