Am I engaged or just holding on to something that will never happen?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4223 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, you’re not wrong at all. IMO he’s being manipulative. I would give the ring back. 

Post # 3
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

eerpudassilem:  It SOUNDS like he gave you the ring not because he was ready and wanted to marry you, but because you wanted to marry him and he didn’t want you to walk away. 

This is such a sucky situation but you need to sit down with him and talk this out. Find out what’s holding him back, why he doesn’t want to marry you yet and if you still don’t feel like he is givign it 100% give the ring back.

Post # 4
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think he’s being immature. You guys are basically married already, just without the certificate. If you’re not willing to live without it, then I’d walk. That said, what will marriage really change? You already live together, have a child, and share expenses.

Post # 5
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I would definitely give the ring back. 

When you get engaged, IMO that means your relationship is ready THAT very day for marriage. 

Post # 6
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

You already know the truth. He does not want to marry you. He proposed to manipulate you into coming back. Definitely give the ring back. You’re not really engaged, “I want to be married to you someday” is the line men use to bide their time BEFORE proposing. It sounds like he is very comfortable with you and has no actual intention of tying the knot any time soon.

 

have you sat him down and discussed what needs to be in order for him to be comfortable getting married? At this point, especially with a kid together, you should be able to discuss this with him without fear or awkwardness. If he is unwilling to have this discussion I’m afraid it sounds like he has no intention of ever marrying yo.

Post # 8
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would def give the ring back. Sounds like he gave it to you just to manipulate and placate. Sorry bee, that sucks.

Post # 10
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You do not have an engagement ring, you have a “shut up” ring… He is not interested in marrying you, and if hes does it would only be to again shut you up. Those types of marriage often end in divorce at some point. You should get married to someone who wants what you want. You already know what you need to do. Good luck to you…

Post # 11
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

eerpudassilem:  Oh dear, 🙁 he doesnt want to marry you. I am really sorry but it might be time to take off the ring and put the walking shoes back on. You deserve much more than this!

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