(Closed) Am I evil?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

your wedding – your date of choice! why wouldnt it be ok?

it’s nice that you’re thinking about "stealing her thunder" but in all honesty, you’re going to go nuts fitting your wedding into everyone else’s schedule kwim?

CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT! GOOD LUCK & HAPPY PLANNING!

Post # 4
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

My friend (who is also a teacher) got engaged the day after I did, and we both knew we wanted summer 09 weddings. I didn’t even think about the idea of stealing anyone’s thunder–it’s very nice of you to be so considerate. I think that moreshoesplease is totally right and you and your fiance should pick a date that works well for you! I’ve let my friend know the date that me and my fiance chose–not that she has to plan around it (though I would love for her and her fiance to be there, and it would be kind of strange for our mutual friends I suppose to decide how to work out their schedules that day to attend both), but that is life. I’m psyched that I have a close friend that’s going through the same things with wedding planning. Good luck!!

Post # 5
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

People get engaged all the time!  You aren’t stealing anyone’s thunder.  Plan your day and hopefully your friend can make it to the wedding.  I’m a teacher too and the only time I would ever get married is the summer (can you even imagine trying to plan a wedding during school – kill me now, I don’t have time to pee let alone walk down an aisle to say "I do")  Do your thing and just keep the lines of communication open.  It’ll be fine.

Post # 6
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I have a friend who got engaged months after I did and then set the wedding date for 2 months before mine. We share a lot of the same friends and are a plane trip for most of them. Honestly, I couldn’t care less, but it was very thoughtful of her to personally ask me if it was OK by me and how I felt about it. In the end, all of our friends are planning on coming to both our weddings, and I couldn’t be happier for her. I think if your friend really loves you and is happy for you, then she shouldn’t mind, but it might help to run it by her as well.

Post # 7
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Don’t worry.  I don’t think anyone at her wedding will be like, wait, haven’t I seen this before??

Post # 8
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

i think the longer the time between the weddings the less likely you are to offend… I think she could be upset if you picked the week before hers or something, but 2 months? If she is upset, she’s a bridezilla. Just do your best to  not like pick the same colors or something.

Post # 9
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My fiance and I are getting married during the same summer as two other couples in his company. We all love it! It means we get to go to one party, after another, after another. We can’t wait!

Post # 10
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

It’s your wedding so pick whatever date works best for you. 

That said, it would be a nice gesture to ask your friend if it’s ok by her.  She might understand your reasons for the timing, but I think most brides have that initial reaction of "she planned hers before my date?!"  Even if she doesn’t care, at least her first thought is "how considerate" instead of "WHAT?!" or "damn". 

Post # 11
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My two best friends (and bridesmaids) from childhood are also engaged.  Order of engagement: Me, Friend 1, Friend 2.  Order of weddings:  Friend 2, Friend 1, me!  Our weddings are 1 month apart. So I think its perfectly fine to have yours before your friend.  Plus you have a real reason, not just wanting to go first!  But I agree with everyone above – its really nice that you are conerned about it 🙂

Post # 13
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh boy, sometimes, people just don’t think. You have a valid "excuse" (not that you need one)- you’re both teachers, she should understand this. Hopefully, she will get over it, but if not, that’s her problem, please do not let it affect you!

Post # 14
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

If every bride in the world didn’t get married the same year as her friends or cousins – can you imagine how long we’d all have to wait for it to be our turn?

I have a good friend who is getting married 2 weeks after me, she was engaged first and booked her wedding first. Due to booking options, and availabilty of things I had no choice but to go 2 weeks before her or end up with a fall wedding which I didn’t want.

She understood that, somethings can’t be totally controlled – like you job. Of course you will want to be married in the summer being a taeacher. I think that it will all be fine. Maybe a sore spot for  day between you but thats all, at most. 

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