Post # 1
Okay so I asked a cousin of mine and my fiance’s cousin to be bridesmaids. I didn’t expect to much from them, but I expected them to at least try to help anything.
They have not thrown me any parties. No bridal shower or bachelorette party I know they don’t have to do anything, but I would figure if you are a bridesmaid you would know that is your responsibility. I have been a bridesmaid in my fiance’s cousin’s wedding and I helped throw both!
I don’t expect them to go all out, but I even contacted them to get them together since we have not all gotten together yet and the wedding is at the end of the month. I wanted to get together and give them their gifts and spend some time with them. Neither have returned my text or phone call.
I do not know what to do. Now I am hurt I understand not doing anything for me, but not wanting to get together? Why even be a bridesmaid. I have never told them not doing these things hurt me. I havent done anything to see why they are acting this way.
What do I do? I feel like I am stalking them to try to give them gifts. and spend some time with them. What would be your next step? A friend of mine said her next step would be to get in touch with them to see if they even want to stand in the wedding I think that is a bit rash.
Post # 3
It depends on what bride you are. Normally they are supposed to throw the parties and showers, but I’m having my FMIL and mymother throw the showers and NOT having a bachelorette party because it doesn’t appeal to me.
This reminds me of a situation with a wedding I was in last year. The girl knew the responsibilities as the MOH and just didn’t care. She was too busy with her boyfriend and she said she felt “pressure” to do all of this stuff. Damn right! It’s your job! In fact, only two of 6 bridesmaids and one groomsman of 6 showed up to the rehersal dinner. She actually demoted her MOH because she just didn’t care. Even on the wedding day the “MOH” was complaining about how she just wants this day over with and doesn’t want to do it.
I would express how upset you are and that it is ESSENTIAL as a bridesmaid to meet before the wedding because you want quality time before the wedding.
Post # 4
I am so sorry that you are going through this especially with your wedding date being so near. I would take your friend’s advice and maybe ask them flat out what’s going on as this doesn’t seem right. Are they your only 2 bridesmaids? Or do have more and its just these two that have dropped the ball? Thankfully I never had any issues with any of my 7 bridesmaids but if this had happened to me, I would have definitely called them out on it. Im just not referring to the shower or bachelorette party but the not returning your calls or texts. This is the time for you to be excited about your wedding that is right around the corner….not worrying about these 2 MIA bridesmaids!
Post # 5
I agree with the PP about taking the time to talk to them. If you havent made your expectations clear, then that would be the time to do it! If they dont seem interested and you want them to do these things for you, then get some new bridesmaids!!
Post # 6
@futureMrs.L: No I only have 2 bridesmaids. I guess I will have to try and keep getting in touch with them. Before this wedding I had so much back bone now I find myself being a door mat, and I feel like I don’t even want the potential argument it may cause.
Post # 7
@lexusalizabeth: Then I think it is time for a home visit to each one of them if possible. You said one of them was a cousin…how about trying to get in touch with your aunt to let her know that you’ve been unable to reach her daughter. Maybe your aunt will put her on check. This totally sucks that you have to go to this extreme BUT I did just read a post about a BM not showing up to the wedding and so you need to have an answer and peace of mind soon. Are you having a rehearsal? If so, then they really have no choice but to show up to that. Is it at least a week before your wedding?
Post # 8
@futureMrs.L: No my pastor doesn’t do reheearsal’s so we aren’t having one. We will just be doing a catered breakfast before the wedding so that we all are fed and no one has to worry about getting food.
Post # 9
Im sorry youre going through this too. Honestly I dont expect my bm to do anything for me in terms of a party, i want an engaagement party so we are throwing one ourselfves. I havnt officially asked them but when i do I plan to give them a list of what i will need them to help with. I like the advice eeveryone is giving you and again am very sorry you have to deal with it at all 🙁
Post # 10
I just want to say I sympathize with ya 🙁