Post # 1
Hey ladies, this is a long story with lots of details that I’m skipping over. My main question is if anyone has ever had this happen or is this truly a weird scenario?
I am the maid of honor for someone who I drifted away from after college (about 5 years ago) I was shocked when she asked my to be her maid of honor because we spoke between 2-4 times a year (not kidding).
There are other bridesmaids, none of us know each other, and for the first time we all got together to plan the bridal shower. During this time, it was revealed that they all hate the bride and don’t want to be friends with her after the wedding. One literally cried on my couch while she was pouring out her heart.
So… I’ve been a bridesmaid in 6 other weddings and have NEVER had anything like this happen. It’s like I want to make it right and just tell the girl that everyone hates her, but the wedding is about a month away and I’m just not that mean. It seems like the only thing to do is “fake it till we make it” and just act like we all love her until the wedding is over with then cut ties.
Thanks for any help or any similiar stories that I could learn from.
Post # 3
I’ve never been in that situation but then again, I wouldn’t accept the request to be in the bridal party for someone I didn’t really know well or didn’t like. What surprises me is that this bride found multiple people who don’t like her to all say Yes when asked to be in the bridal party!
All I can say is, I really hope they have a lot of wine for you!
Post # 4
@fishbone: Ungh… you’re sooo right. I remember telling them all “out of all the people she knows, we must be the biggest suckers out there”. *sigh* no booze at the wedding!
Post # 5
That is sooooo sad! I feel really bad for the bride (although she does sound painfully clueless) – and for the awkward position you’re in.
I would not say anything before or after the wedding. Just let things happen as they will. It’s still her big day and ignorance is bliss 🙂
Post # 6
No booze at the wedding = Santa’s gonna have to bring someone a little flask for christmas.
Post # 7
Wow, that is really difficult. I am surprised she found so many people who clearly do not like her – to stand with her on her wedding day. I would be devastated if my BM’s stopped talking to me after the wedding.
Post # 8
Sadly, I think this happens more than you know. I have plenty of friends who don’t speak to one or members of the wedding party after the big day. That makes me think there must have been some animosity before the wedding that the bride was unaware of.
And, I’m currently in this situation, I am a Bridesmaid or Best Man and I feel like the only reason the bride talks to me is because I’m a bridesmaid. And, I only think I am a Bridesmaid or Best Man because she needed numbers… now I wish I would’ve said no. I don’t dislike her or anything that strong but I just really don’t feel like we’re actually friends anymore. I’m betting she won’t call or talk to me after the wedding (we live 12 hours apart).
Kinda stinks. I don’t want to step down because that would definitely end our friendship but I also sort of feel like our friendship will functionally be over in a few months anyway. But, I said yes, and being a bridesmaid isn’t terrible or anything so I’m just going to do it for her, since she was my friend. I think she’s just clueless. I’ve tried to make her realize that there’s more to maintaining a friendship but I’m not sure she’s getting it. I figure, I’ll give her a ring after her honeymoon and see how it went and then the balls in her court to give me a ring to say hello.
Post # 9
@MissTurtle27: It’s sad, but good to know I’m not the only one out there. I just recently pissed the fiance off a few weeks ago (the wedding is in about 3 weeks), because I’m at my breaking point with the whole situation. So now I’m just trying to slap on the fake smile and get through it all.
I think you’re 100% correct about there being animosity to begin with. I just had no idea that all the other BMs felt the same way. It’s a learning experience for sure. I will never make this mistake again so that is an upside to the whole situation.
Post # 10
@honeyboo2u32: I wouldn’t even tell the bride after the wedding. It’s not your business who likes her and who doesn’t especially since you are not a close friend, or even a good friend.
It sucks that no one likes her, and why she asked girls she was not close with (or why they accepted) is beyond me.
However, I recently learned that some people don’t understand that friendship – like all relationships – take work. Your bride might not understand that.
Also remember that girls can be super catty… and maybe your fellow BMs just happen to be that way.