Post # 1
So when I talk to people (esp at work) about my wedding, They always say I would never spend that much on a photographer, flowers, venue…. I’m currently spending about 2k on flowers, 1.5k on photography, 7k on venue with all food linens and alcohol and finally about 1k on rentals. I’m a New Yorker at heart but reside in lil old South Carolina where a fancy wedding is in the basement of a church with only cake served. I’m having lots of family from out of state coming and I want to show them a good time. We are paying cash for this wedding, half from FI and I, half from my dad. If your going to do it, why not do it the way you imagined. I mean I am only going to get married once !! What do you gals think??
Post # 2
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
DanielleI: if your budget allows, then go for it! Though comments like those from your co workers are why one shouldn’t talk about these things IMO. It’s none of their business how much you spend (they’ll think it’s too much/ not enough/ could be better spent elsewhere …) Unless you are really close…
Post # 3
Looks good to me… The photography is pretty spot on price from what Ive seen. The venue/food/alcohol is right on as well, but also depends onthe venue. I found cheaper/free venues have little to no character. You got to pay for that character. The flowers…. seem just a touch pricey, but then again, dont know what kind you are getting and everything. My wedding at the moment is about 2k for the photographer, 3 k for venue, 1.5 k for catering, 1 k for alcohol and bartending (so if packaged like yours, would be 5.5 k, but I live in the midwest, not New York), and $350 for flowers, which includes centerpiece, archeway, bouquets, decor, etc. ( I went silk instead of real, and bought it all on sale). I was quoted about 1k for the flowers were they real.
Post # 4
overall, i spent more than you.
i only spent $600 on flowers, but our photographer was $4000 (including the leather bound wedding album with 160 pictures)
a woman i work (in her 50’s) is getting married and she complained to me that $400 was ridiculous to pay a DJ. then she was upset that he wanted $100 more to play music during the ceremony and cocktail hour. she’s like what is he doing for that money, i could just play my ipod. i told her if she would rather play her ipod, she should. then i told her my DJ was $1200, she was shocked.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
If you’re budget allows for it, then go for it.
They may be used to a different style of wedding – but I’m pretty sure there are some southerners who have had massive blow-out parties!
Post # 6
This is why I haven’t discussed our budget with anyone outside of my parents and my FI. Nobody else in my life knows how much I’ve spent on anything. We’re spending a lot of money and it will be worth it but nobody needs to know! When people ask I deflect or say “we spent what we were comfortable with” and end it at that. Nobody is rude enough to keep pushing after that.
Post # 7
DanielleI: This is why I ahven’t shared our budget with anyone bar my closest friends; no-one else knows what it’s costing, because I know that if they did, we would constantly be hearing how we can do x y z for cheaper, how they wouldn’t spend that much, yada yada yada, and honestly, I don’t care what they would/wouldn’t spend, because this isn’t their wedding lol.
So, if someone is rude enough to ask what you’re spending, don’t answer, or give a vague reply eg if someone asks who I know will judge, I say something like ‘What we’re comfortable with’ and leave it at that.
Post # 8
If that’s what you want and you can afford it, awesome! Go for it. I’m a little confused as to why you’re talking about wedding costs with other people though. It’s a bit gauche and really none of their business. Plus, when you talk about such things, as you can see, you end up hearing opinions you don’t necessarily want.
Do your thing and don’t let it bother you. But rethink what wedding topics you discuss with acquaintences. Especially coworkers.
Post # 9
DanielleI: Everything you’ve mentioned sounds more than reasonable. I would refrain from talking about your prices at work in the future, though. Some people might find these prices exbortitant because they have different financial constraints than you.
Post # 10
If your budget allows, there’s nothing wrong with spending what you want to on your wedding! This is the reason why I haven’t discussed our budget with anyone but close friends/family, though.
I think your flowers cost is a lot, but that depends on what and how much you’re getting. Our photographer is $1500, but our venue + food is going to be $12k. Alcohol will be another $2k, I’m sure.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
That doesn’t seem outrageous to me at all! They seem like totally normal prices and it’s less than what we’re spending and I don’t think our wedding is outrageous at all aha 😉 If they’re older then it could be that they’re comparing your prices to what they paid decades ago. Or they might just prioritize their money differently – depending on their financial situation, those prices may seem extremely high/unimaginable for just one day. Maybe they really just don’t know how much wedding stuff costs? I would just try to change the subject if they bring up the wedding. It’s not really any of their business how much stuff costs and it’s not polite to bring up costs to them either (:
Post # 12
Sounds about right! We spent about the same for ours. The only thing people said was ‘over the top’ for our wedding was the floral centerpieces. Even so, 1/5 of the tables had BMs bouquets in a nice vase as their centerpiece!
Post # 13
Your budget sounds quite reasonable to me, depending on the number of guests you’re having.
I also agree with prior posters that you may not want to discuss costs with coworkers, since people will tend to view your financial matters based on their own situations and experiences.
Post # 14
DanielleI: Agreed with everyone. Have the wedding you’re comfortable with. But, coming from the general geographic area, locals commenting may come from a place of genuine surprise that those prices exist rather than judgement. And where I’m from in the South, it would never occur to anyone to talk about prices, especially at work. It would seen as about as appropriate as belching at the opera.
For the record, church receptions aren’t thought of as ‘fancy’. That’s a bit reductive. They’re just part of weddings. If it’s what you’re used to, it’s generally what you’re sincerely happiest with— similar to your background leading you to be comfortable with what you’re used to. It’s a little bit of a culture clash, perhaps, but be careful your sensitivities toward percieved judgement don’t turn into being overly patronising to the locals. I’m sure us simple yokels can handle a ‘big city’ wedding.
Post # 15
It’s all relative to location and wedding size. Yours doesn’t sound outrageous to me. Our venue is $4k for JUST THE VENUE…no food or rentals included. Food is another $3k, flowers are $2k, and our photographer is $3250! For Charleston, these are really pretty darn good prices. We are paying for it ourselves. In reality, the majority of weddings are outrageous…I mean, think about it. An event…one day, that you spend $25k on!? That’s just absurd. But it’s your wedding. And it happens (hopefully) once in your life and it’s a huge day. So it’s worth it.