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I have a number of friends (not so much family) that just can't "get" my (due in April) child's name.
I am thinking about posting a facebook "rant" as a status. The name we have chosen is Briar Ann. I have one friend who keeps saying "what was that name, Brianna???" We have explained about 12 times to her. Others keep saying (while making ugly critical faces) "Where did you find that??" All this negative feedback has made me question the decision, but I know deep down it is the right name.
Here is what I want to write....
If you do not like our future daughter's name, please keep it to yourself. First of all, no, it is not "like the ice cream." Second, if you can't spell it or pronounce it, please have the respect to take the 15 seconds it will take to learn. It is not all that complicated.
Am I being hormonal? Or do you think this is called for?
I can imagine how frustrating this is for you, but i wouldn't post that as a facebook status. The people that it's meant for will only laugh and it's not going to make you feel any better. When people make comments just say that you love the name and that's all that matters. Some people just don't know when to shut up.
Please don't post that to facebook. If you have issues with people take it up with them personally, or just ignor them.
I hate when people air their dirty laundry via passive aggresive posts on facebook.
If its that frustrating for you just think how frustrating its going to be for child.
Hmmmm, personally I think it might cause more drama, to be honest. Some people really like to ruffle feathers, and if they know something bothers you, they're more likely to make those comments just to piss you off.
I think the best retort against ignorant comments is complete, oblivious, positivity. For example, the next time someone questions the origin, gush about how beautiful it is, how the name is a variant of your, how Briar comes from the French, etc... I think if you seem happy and unaware of their criticisms, they're less likely to continue.
I should also add that the last time my FIL "reminded" me that Briar is an alternative name for white trash, I reminded him that his name is an alternative name for penis. :)
While I empathize with your frustration, I think it'll make people think you're hormonal/b*tchy more than get your point across. You love the name, who cares what others think? Don't stoop to their level!
Yeah, it is totally rude and passive aggressive, but I want to shut people up!! I guess I was secretly hoping I had an "excuse" being pregnant!!
I agree with the PP, unfortunately you are going to run accross this your whole daughters life. You just need to learn to ignore it. People are ignorant when it comes to different sounding names. Just smile and nod and correct them and go on with life
I think the name is pretty personally. But, I have to agree with @Mrs. Maple Syrup: on this issue though.
I think it is a beautiful name. And I disagree that it is going to be frustrating for your daughter her whole life- there are many other names out there that are much harder to figure out! You like the name. So, as frustrating as other people might be right now, eventually they'll catch on.
I think that once the baby is here, people won't say anything about it. After all, if you meet a "Jane" you don't really walk away saying "Wow, I really don't like that name." Instead, you focus on the person and her personality, etc.
So I don't think it will be a problem once the baby gets here. I also think it's a pretty name!
That being said, I wouldn't post that on FB. It will only add more fuel to the fire. If someone is commenting a lot on your baby's name, then they clearly like drama or like to stir things up (otherwise, they would keep their opinions to themselves!). I would just stop talking about the name with the people that have issues with it. Or if it does come up, smile and say "Thanks, but we've already decided!"
@heathaah: I actually love the name, but that's not relevant. All that matters is that you love it. I think people will warm up to just about any name as soon as it's attached to a real live baby, so I wouldn't concern yourself too much with it. Just breathe and let it go. Makes for a much happier mama!
I wouldn't let them forgetting the name bother you too much. It is a different name and I am sure that once they meet your little beauty it will be much easier to remember.
ETA: It is a different name but I like it . Good pick!
I definitely wouldn't make that post on fb, but I agree that the people you mentioned are being damned rude!
I think the name is beautiful and if you and you husband like the name that is all that matters.
I would however not post anything on FB as you are asking for drama and an extreme cat fight. Can you maybe send whoever might be hurtful an email, not in an angry tone but more of a hurt tone and let them know that is is bothering you about how they are acting.
If it would make you feel better to post on FB (although I'd advise against it), at least own up to the fact that it's a hormonal rant.
i.e. "Crazy hormonal pregnant lady rant #12: [insert rant here]"
That way people will get a laugh out of it, and yet the message will still get across.
I think Briar is a very pretty name! Some people are just negative and always have something mean to say, but I think for the most part no one intends on hurting your feelings. I completely agree that it's just a hypothetical name to them, so they don't even realize how attached you are to the PERSON behind the name. Once you meet a person you rarely fixate on their name when you have so many other things to think about like their face, voice, smile, personality. I highly doubt anyone will be thinking about ice cream brand names after they lay eyes on your beautiful new baby :)
As for the Brianne comments, try not to take those personally as it may just be a case of people honestly forgetting and their brain just throwing out the closest name that it recognizes.
I dont think its a good idea to post about it on facebook. I think if you pick a very unusual name then you are bound to have some people who react like this, especially since you told them the name before the baby arrived. Its not "nice" of them but I guess they are being honest about how they feel about the name. The best advice is to not share the name until after the baby is born that way people are less open with their opinions
I really don't see how her name is confusing, to be honest. I think it's pretty!
Advice? I would stop telling people what you're planning on naming her. If they can't get it right, refuse to give them the correct name and just let them figure it out after she's born. Not many people have the balls to look at a little baby and wrinkle their nose at the name.
Don't air this out on FB. It's totally not worth it.
@heathaah: I think it is a beautiful name. I have a friend named Briar Rose after that Briar Rabbit story. Seriously a beautiful name! Tell them to suck it up and learn it.
In all honesty, I should mention that the friend who keeps saying "Brianna" and asking "are you suuuuuure about this name???" is generally such a drama queen/gossiper that my husband can't even stand to be around her. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. She actually said to me in the limo on my wedding day, just before walking in "He isn't who I would have chosen for you, but if you are happy then I will be happy for you." WHAAAA??????
I wouldn't post it, it will cause more trouble than its worth. Frankly, since you knew its name thats not the in the norm (mine isn't either) you had to have anticpated this reaction. Its frustrating but you get better at ignoring it. The comments will stop once baby is here.
@heathaah: I'm sorry but Briar is pronounce like the icecream Bryers? I do like it but it is a little odd.
I said this on another thread - but I know a Briar Anne and no one (that I know of) thinks its odd. It's pretty and unique! I love the name Briar!
@Mrs. Spring: LOL...love your line to your FIL!!!
@heathaah: This gal doesn't sound like much of a friend! I would let her know specifically that her comments aren't appreciated and the name isn't up for discussion. It sounds like she's the main person causing the issue. Skip the FB post and just try to let others' comments roll off your back.
I agree on not posting that on FB. I would however, direct that passive aggressive attitude towards those friends specifically since you have explained it to them numerous times!
It's your daughter, not theirs, not their business!!!
@Soladylike: Yes, it is pronounced the same. I can assure you the ice cream brand has absolutely nothing to do with choosing the name. It actually means (or more accurately, shares the same meaning as) Heather, which is my name. It was also used as a name for Sleeping Beauty.
I think the name is beautiful, and I really don't think its strange so I'm surprised your getting such weird reactions to it. It is unique but strange it is not. I don't think people with make fun of your daughter or have a hard time with it, teachers will be able to read it and pronounce. I think you made a great choice (esspecially since you seem to know its the right name)! Also agree with pp's, don't waste your time putting something on facebook, people who keep hasseling you about it aren't worth the wasted worry or the drama a facebook post can cause, people who care about you will support your decision regardless and love your daughter a ton.
Ok, first I love the name. Second, I'm honestly not sure what's so hard about it? Third, I have a niece Brianne and when I see your name that does not pop in my head at all!!! People are jerks sometimes when it comes to stuff like this. I'd ignore them, I know it's easier said than done.
I'd usually preface this with the 'excuse my language'-speil but it's the Bostonian in me (I know you'll understand, lol) that says - eff them and eff Facebook. There are many times that I want tp post something on Facebook because I know it'll hit the target audience full force, and it is tempting.. but don't do it. Don't feed into their BS. I had the same thing happen with my girl name. So much that it made me and DH pick another girl name but really if this little guy were to come out a girl and surprise us, I'd hope I'd have the balls to use the original name I love.
And for the record I LOVE the name Briar Ann. (It did remind me of Sleeping Beauty - and I'm sure every little girl she meets in school will think that at first, too.) It's different, but classic at the same time. Easy to spell, easy to pronounce. And so pretty. Please don't think of changing it for anyone else (unless your or your DH is having doubts...).
Agree with @MissCarnival 100%.No one will comment on it once she's born (I hope!).
That said, I would NEVER ever comment negatively about the name someone picked out for her child. It's just so rude. More than rude, actually -- it's unkind.
@heathaah, Briar Ann is a beautiful name! There's absolutely nothing weird or unpronounceable about it.
I like the name! And your friend is being silly by saying it's like the ice cream. How many things are like other things???
I know it can be frustrating when people mispronounce your name, as people often do to mine, but it is a beautiful name and I think you should go for it.
No to passive aggressive comments on facebook. I would not however, have a problem with telling people directly "I pretty much tried to ignore your comments the first few times, please stop bringing it up if you can't be nice." Any name can have a weird connection to it, what's important is that you love it.
This is why NO ONE is finding out my baby's name until the birth announcement. Then if they want to be the asshole who is picking on an infant they can feel free.
My name is strange and I love it. "Mykel" My (this is my ...) - kel (kelly) ... parents didn't realize how difficult it would be for people, not its not "Michael".
My grandma said "she is going to be explaining her name her whole life" and my dad said, "Well I guess she will know it then won't she?" I think the same thing goes :)
With all of the unusual names people use these days I wouldn't have necessarily assumed the name was pronounced the way it's spelled so you might need to chill on the "it's not that complicated" part. I'm all for naming your kid whatever you want to but if you are choosing a name that's not common, you need to prepared for people that are a) not going to know how to pronounce and/or spell it or b) think it's weird/different. If she's not even born yet and you are already annoyed with people's reactions, imagine how it will be a year from now.
I echo everyone else who said posting that rant to facebook is a bad idea.
You will have all kinds of people (like my DH), who even if they said nothing, or were nice about the name prior to seeing the rant, who would start to poke fun at the name at every opportunity because they know it will drive you crazy.
My DH is seriously bad for capitalizing on peoples passive aggressive rants on facebook, because he thinks it is hilarious (and it kind of is when you see him in action, especially if you were rolling your eyes until the hurt while reading the facebook rant).
I think posting it will cause more annoyance to you, than what you will earn in satisfaction from posting it!
I understand the desire to write that facebook post. Briar is a WONDERFUL name - one of my favorites, even if I wouldn't use it for a daughter (one of my favorite characters in the novels I wrote started off with the name Briar Thorn.) Basically, they need to get over it. It's not your problem, and by the time your baby is aware enough to respond to her name, people have gotten over it. Kind of like my maid of honor says she'll "get over" my daughter's name (my chosen girl's name is the same as her mom's name - and her mom was a mentally abusive psychopath.)
I think the name is beautiful.
I would NOT post anything on FB (but I'm very anti-FB ranting). I think if it's a close friend that keeps making rude comments, just tell her in a nice way to stop.
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